Playing IRL bingo in a random Tokyo neighborhood

When I decided to go on a trip to Japan, I picked the dates to overlap with the travel dates of a few friend groups of mine who were also visiting Japan from the United States. However, although I wanted to spend time and do activities together with them, I didn’t want to formally join as a member of any travel groups because I wanted to retain a degree of personal freedom. As a result, the underlying nature of my trip was basically a solo trip.

More specifically, I wanted to make sure I would have agency over my own schedule, rather than feeling an obligation to do everything together with the same group of people, i.e., I wanted to be able to split off from the group and do my own thing if something else piqued my interest better. I also wasn’t a fan of lodging together in a gigantic Airbnb, sharing rooms, and splitting the cost; instead, it was important that I had my own hotel room so I could feel like I had my own private and uninterruptable space.

Upon taking all that into consideration and carefully planning dates together with a bunch of different people, I finalized the two-week period during which I would be traveling to Japan on my own. Then, my friends would be able to invite me out to do things on a day-by-day basis, and I would join whichever group was doing the more interesting activity… or just be a lone tourist if I wanted to do something different.

After booking my flight and hotel, I later found out that another one of my friends, and someone who I had not coordinated travel dates with at all, would also happen to have a few overlapping days with me in Japan—Doug Wreden. We figured that it would be fun to meet up and spend a day together in Tokyo when we were both free, so we tentatively penciled that into our calendars.

Up until this point, I had experienced a fairly organized and structured trip. My other friends wanted to eat, see, and experience the best that Japan had to offer, so they diligently conducted research ahead of time and picked out activities that they thought would maximize their happiness. Even I did this to a mild extent—I leisurely browsed Google Maps using in-flight Wi-Fi during my flight to Narita International Airport and tagged interesting spots as “want to go.”

On the other hand, my friend Doug has been to Japan many times before, so he approached his trip in a more relaxed fashion. He wanted to be more spontaneous and do something that most other people would never do, while also experiencing the more “normal” side of Tokyo away from the concentrated, tourist-centric areas. Doug is a creative person who is great at gamifying everyday life, so he proposed that we do “IRL Bingo” where we make a Bingo board and then walk around a neighborhood of Tokyo we’ve never been to before to sightsee and check off items from our grid.

I was very on board with this. I’m someone who doesn’t pick “favorite things” as often as other people; instead, I like having a broad breadth of experiences and will prefer to do a wide variety of new things that I haven’t done before. This spontaneous IRL Bingo idea was great because the uncertainty of its outcome was a stark contrast from how I had spent my previous days in Tokyo, so it was a fantastic way to mix things up and keep things fresh.

In order to get to a new neighborhood to start our journey, we met up at Shinjuku Station, got on a random train, and got off at a random stop.

After exiting the station, we walked around the corner into a residential area so that we wouldn’t be in the middle of the sidewalk.

From there, Doug and Alex started coming up with ideas and assembling them together into a Bingo board.

One of the spaces was to see a car with a siren, but they further added a stipulation that the siren-bearing vehicle had to pass by in front of us. We almost checked it off right away, but unfortunately, the truck turned away from us and drove in the opposite direction.

From here, we turned into a residential area again and walked deeper into the neighborhood.

As a point of editorial commentary, I included a lot of random photographs in this blog post that don’t showcase anything particularly notable or special. This is because, just like how we wanted to see what “real” Tokyo was like away from the tourist zones, I wanted to showcase a more accurate representation of an average neighborhood of Tokyo. People share memorable experiences all the time—both positive and negative—but often don’t post about the mediocre. In the spirit of trying to portray realism, I made sure to mix in a lot of mundane pictures so I can ensure that I’m not accidentally sensationalizing anything.

One of the spots on the Bingo board was to find people playing baseball. We stumbled across a baseball field, so that was easy, but we were hoping to be able to check off two spaces by also seeing someone wearing Los Angeles Dodgers apparel. Unfortunately, everyone here was wearing their own uniforms.

Apparently my camera decided to focus on the chain link fence instead of the baseball gameplay, but I guess it looks sort of artistic, so I included it anyway.

We used this sign here for our “incorrect English” space. We suspect that they intended to write “landmark” instead of “randmark,” but because Asian languages often merge together their “r” and “l” sounds, this unfortunate error was born.

Upon doing some more research after-the-fact, I found out that this building is called ランドマーク宮澤, which reads as Rando-māku Miyazawa and translates to Landmark Miyazawa.

Here are some more photographs of the surrounding neighborhood.

Compared to the United States, these power lines were pretty chaotic. However, Doug and Alex didn’t want to count this for the botched power line space because apparently power lines in Japanese neighborhoods can get substantially worse than this.

With that being said, even though the power lines seem disheveled, I noticed that they were somehow still organized, just in a very messy way. When I followed each line, I realized that they were all orderly; it just happened to be that the power company seems to have not put in any extra effort into aesthetic cable management.

One of my favorite things about Tokyo was the abundance of convenience stores, and how convenient they actually are. In the United States, convenience stores are very inconvenient because they tend to just overcharge for everything, they are often fairly dirty, and they sometimes have suspicious individuals loitering around the property. In Japan, convenience stores are basically like miniature high-quality grocery stores that are reliable for taking a rest stop whenever you’re on a long walk.

In a 7-Eleven, I found this Super Mario gummy candy, which checked off the “Mario” spot on our Bingo board. I never really figured out how to do the “build your own level” activity that the wrapper advertised, but the candy itself tasted pretty good.

After a quick snack and water break, we ventured back out into the street.

One of the Bingo board spots was to find a Japan flag. In the United States, you’ll see national flags everywhere all the time, but in Japan, we did not see a single one. What was extra funny was that we found a US flag before we ever encountered a Japan one.

This store in itself was also amusing, considering that they advertise selling gun shooting gear, even though guns are generally broadly illegal to have in Japan.

By this point, we had been steadily achieving spaces on our Bingo board during our walk. For example, we saw an advertisement featuring a white man, we saw a Black construction worker, and we found an Indian restaurant.

You may have also noticed that one of the spaces involved me correctly identifying a police officer. This is because I kept on confusing construction workers and security guards for police officers, because I never quite found out what police uniforms look like. However, even a broken clock is correct for two minutes a day, and eventually, I was able to point out a real Japanese police officer.

We came across this gym that teaches martial plarts. At first I thought this was another tragic case of an incorrect English translation, but then I realized from the tagline that it was intentional—it was martial arts, with plants. Although that is a reasonable play on words, I don’t think they quite understand how goofy the word “plarts” sounds to a native English speaker…

One of the items on the Bingo board was to see a torii gate. I believe we had already seen a few by this point, but I found this one that was a gateway to a statue instead of to a temple.

By this point, it was starting to get darker.

I took a picture of this gas station because it was the first gas station I had seen since arriving in Japan. I had spent a majority of my time during the prior days in the denser cities of Tokyo, so I had seen a ton of convenience stores (which are often associated with gas stations in the United States because the retail section of gas stations are often convenience stores), but I had not seen an actual gas station yet.

At this point, we were only one space away from our first two Bingos—we would get a Bingo if either (1) we saw a McDonald’s, or (2) Doug gets jouzued. To be jouzu (jōzu, 上手)ed means to be told by a native Japanese speaker that one is skilled at speaking Japanese. Apparently this had become a meme in Japan, and it is now sometimes used more as a sarcastic statement than to actually tell someone that they’re genuinely skilled.

Out of nowhere, I saw a Harley-Davidson store. This was amusing, because I wear a lot of Harley-Davidson boots, so it was nice to see something familiar in Japan. I have comically wide feet that aren’t compatible with many shoe brands, but Harley-Davidson boots fit me well because their wide sizes tend to run extra wide, and they’re made out of real leather so they stretch and mold around my strangely-shaped feet.

We stagnated with only one space to go for Bingo for a while. After we wondered if all hope was lost, we suddenly saw a McDonald’s in the distance. In perfect storyline fashion, the train barriers lowered moments before we were going to cross the street to add to the suspense, but after a couple trains passed and we waited out the brief delay, we walked up to the McDonald’s and marked off the final square we needed for our first Bingo.

Our dinner reservation time was rapidly approaching, and we thought that we might need to call a taxi to get to the restaurant on time. However, as if the plot was pre-written, there was a bus that just happened to be parked right around the corner that was headed to Nakano Station, perfectly in the direction of where we need to go.

After a brief bus ride, we made it to Nakano Station. I had never seen this kind of indoor/outdoor hybrid mall before, which I thought was pretty neat.

After finishing dinner, we continued walking around the area. Because Nakano was far more densely populated than the residential area we were in earlier, we were able to check off a lot more squares on our Bingo board back-to-back.

We randomly stopped by an arcade, and I noticed that one of the machines had Fanta in it as a prize. I have never seen that before in the United States, and I thought that was a brilliant idea that American arcades should adopt.

I’m not a fan of claw machines because I know how they work—there is a way to set up the strength of the claw so that, even if you get a perfect grip, you won’t get the prize unless the machine rolls the proper number to activate the appropriate pressure to retain the prize all the way to the dispensing funnel. If you check the owner’s manual of these claw machines, you can see that operators can set a profit margin to make sure that they’re not losing too much money. There are some machines that can be cheesed, but for a majority of the straightforward claw machines, they almost all work in this configurable way.

With that being said, even if I was a fan of claw machines, I still wouldn’t play them because I don’t care for any of the prizes. I don’t really like stuffed animals, and I usually only want physical possessions if they have some kind of useful function or sentimental value. So, having soft drinks or food items as prizes for claw machines is brilliant, and I think it is a great way to potentially convince people like me to try it out a few times. I’m sure that winning a beverage from an arcade machine will be extra satisfying if you’re thirsty after a long walk and want a drink.

Alex remembered that there was an ice cream shop in the basement, so we went down to check it out. Unfortunately, the store was already closed (as was most of the other spots in the area), but there was a little bench area that was still open and not blocked off by a metal door, which I found to be amusing.

Eventually, in desperation, Doug decided to go to a bakery right before getting on our train and started speaking in Japanese to the cashier to try and get jouzued. He said exaggerated statements like “I’ve only been learning Japanese for one year” and otherwise pointing out how bad he was at Japanese, in order to fish out the jouzu compliment. After much of his embarrassment, he succeeded, and we were able to secure our second Bingo.

This is what our Bingo board looked like at the end of the day. We managed to be one square away from three more Bingos beyond the two we achieved.

Overall, this was actually one of the more fun days I had during my trip to Japan.

Although I enjoyed pretty much every single thing I did in Tokyo throughout the entire two weeks, I especially liked IRL Bingo because it felt like I was able to get a more authentic and unfiltered look at what Tokyo was like. At one point, I had been enjoying Tokyo so much that I was concerned whether I was accidentally going to only well-curated tourist hotspots that were manicured just to look nice to tourists, but after seeing everything I encountered during my day of IRL Bingo, it reinforced and helped make me feel more secure in my broad appreciation for Tokyo.

 

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The Adventures of TrugTrug and Parkzer in WoW Classic’s 20th Anniversary hardcore realms

I don’t play video games that much anymore, but once in a while, I’ll still sign back on if a friend invites me to play.

Last year, my friend Doug Wreden and I played World of Warcraft: Classic hardcore on and off for about a month and had a pretty good time. It was a nostalgic experience for Doug; and for me, I enjoyed trying Classic for the first time and seeing from what the modern-day World of Warcraft evolved. I’m usually not a big fan of hardcore or permadeath game modes because I have very limited time to play games and I don’t want to constantly lose my progress and just do the starting area over and over again, but Doug finds softcore modes to be boring, and hardcore did technically add a lot more suspense and tension to the gameplay.

This year, Doug and I decided to join a guild called <OnlyFangs> and do another run of World of Warcraft: Classic in hardcore mode on the new realms released as part of the 20th Anniversary celebration. <OnlyFangs> is a guild generally reserved for Twitch streamers and other online content creators, and although I wouldn’t really consider myself to be a content creator, they were adding some additional twists to the gameplay to make it more interesting, so I still joined.

The guild has competitions among the different races, so naturally, as initiation for joining the guild, you have to take a sorting quiz to determine the race you’re allowed to play. I answered all the questions and ended up with Orc.

On the day of launch, I created an Orc Hunter and spawned into the Valley of Trials alongside hundreds of other players who had gotten in right as the servers opened.

Doug also created his character—a Troll Shaman named “TrugTrug,” a hybrid of “troll” and “DougDoug.” I just named myself “Parkzer,” but after seeing Doug’s character’s name, I regretted not naming myself “Orkzer” instead.

My first near-death experience promptly came at level 7 when Doug and I were on the Echo Isles questing. I wasn’t paying close-enough attention to World of Warcraft because I was distracted answering questions from my Twitch chat and I didn’t notice that my health was getting extremely low. I quickly ran away and dragged a Durotar Tiger into a group of other players in hopes that they would save me. Luckily, a fellow Orc named Orcadontis (who I imagine is a professional orthodontist) was nearby and finished off the tiger, saving my life.

And if you’re curious, the reason it says “YOU ARE LITERALLY TROLLING” and “RUN AWAY” in big letters on the center of my screen is because I use an add-on called WeakAuras, which allows you to make custom graphics that trigger based on conditions you specify. I set up an alert that blares an air horn and shows that bouncing text in the center of my screen in case I get low of health and don’t realize that I have to run away.

At level 10, Hunters gain the ability to tame a pet. Doug wanted his Twitch chat to be able to have agency over our gameplay, so he did a series of polls that determined that my first pet would be a crab named “Crabzer.”

… Crabzer promptly died because I sent him into a group of level 10 enemies when he was only level 6. Usually you can just revive your pet, but to add to the intensity of hardcore more, Doug wanted my pet to be hardcore as well. This meant Crabzer was dead forever. Doug required me to participate in a memorial ritual by removing all my armor and laying down (almost) naked next to Crabzer’s corpse.

My next pet was a crocodile named Croczer. Unsurprisingly, Croczer faced the same fate as Crabzer when we were in a cave and a random Mage pulled a ton of enemies, so I sent Croczer in to tank and he succumbed to overwhelming damage. … Yes, we did the same ritual for Croczer too.

It’s a running joke that I love to stop playing the main content and go off to fish in video games, specifically in MMORPGs where fishing is almost never the primary objective and is no more than a side task. World of Warcraft is no exception to this, so after Doug signed off for the night, I joined some of my Twitch viewers on a journey to Mulgore and Thunder Bluff because they said there were some nice, scenic fishing spots there.

The next day, Doug and I found a party of guildmates and cleared Ragefire Chasm, our first dungeon.

Later that night off-stream, I finally got a chance to level up my fishing. While in Orgrimmar, I was joined by Thor Hall from Pirate Software, with whom I had a pleasant chat using the Proximity Voice add-on. After reaching level 150 fishing, we took a ship and ventured to Booty Bay to purchase a special item—a book that would unlock the next tier of fishing. There is an overall level 20 requirement for that though in addition to the fishing level requirement, so I wasn’t yet able to read the book I had just bought.

On the fourth day of our adventure, we ran into an escort quest where the escortee has a very long respawn timer. In order to try and get as many people in on the quest as possible as to minimize the wait time, we partied up and invited someone from our guild as well. Hilariously, our guildmate had an add-on that automatically accepts, turns in, and advances all quests, so he managed to initiate the escort before Doug and I managed to turn in our quests and pick up the next one in the chain for the escort.

We stuck around for the respawn and waited for the next cycle. Being the brilliant, attentive, responsive gamer I am, I proceeded to miss turning in my quest for a second cycle in a row. Here I am eating a protein bar and realizing that the escortee was departing without me.

Back in town, I was reunited with Orcadontis, the guy who had saved me from the Durotar Tiger over ten levels ago.

He was roleplaying being ill and giving me dental advice with his dying breath, but my absolute favorite thing to do in roleplay scenarios is to pretend like I don’t understand what’s going on and breaking the fourth wall. As Orcadontis gasped that his death was approaching, I replied “no you’re fine, you’re at 100% health,” then walked away.

On day 5, we reached level 20 and learned our next set of important skills. For Doug’s Shaman, this was Ghost Wolf, a spell that turns him into wolf form and increases movement speed by 40%. For my Hunter, it was Aspect of the Cheetah, a spell that grants me 30% increased movement speed at the cost of being dazed for four seconds if I take damage while in cheetah form. Note that Ghost Wolf is materially and substantially better than Aspect of the Cheetah.

After doing a round of quests, Doug and I were returning to town. I had my character set to auto-follow Doug while I was answering questions from my Twitch chat. Doug said that he was going to run through a group of enemies, so I mindlessly said “ok” and continued talking with Twitch chat.

Remember how I mentioned that, not only is my movement speed buff weaker than Doug’s, but I also get dazed when I get hit? Doug was able to run through the enemies fine, but when I ran in after him, I got hit once and got slowed to a fraction of my movement speed.

From here, I had a truly next-level reaction to what was happening, composed of the following series of events:

  1. Spend five seconds looking around in confusion, trying to gauge how much trouble I am actually in.
  2. Spend an additional three seconds tabbing over to Discord to unmute myself so I can tell Doug I am in trouble.
  3. Try to kill the thing that is attacking me, then give up after two seconds.
  4. Try to turn off Aspect of the Cheetah so enemy attacks stop refreshing my daze, but realize that the hotkey I assigned to that was Alt+0, which is impossible for me to hit without either taking my left fingers off the movement keys or taking my right hand off my mouse.
  5. Bring my mouse pointer down to click the Aspect of the Cheetah button to turn it off, but misclick and start channeling Mend Pet instead.
  6. Finally click the correct button to turn off Aspect of the Cheetah, though not before having my daze reset for another 4 seconds.
  7. Try to run away, then realize that the retreat path I was taking was directly towards another camp filled with five more enemies.
  8. Use a health potion, but then forget to use the two other items on my hotbar that would have rooted an enemy and healed me more, thus potentially increasing my chances of survival.
  9. Run off a cliff to try and de-aggro the now four enemies carving line art into my back.
  10. Try to land on a small platform not too far down, miss, slide down the whole face of the entire cliff, then die of fall damage.

And the best part? Doug would have been perfectly fine, but after I unmuted and let him know that I had aggro, he turned around and ran back into the gargantuan group of enemies to try and help me. Even better, note that I had already wasted eight seconds at that point, so he was very far away and it’s not like there was anything he could’ve done anymore anyway.

He also died.

From what I gathered during my post-death debriefing session with Doug, when he announced that he was going to run through a group of enemies, what I was supposed to do was stop following him, split off from him, go all the way around the group of enemies via a different path by myself, and meet back up with him in town afterwards.

This was a pretty ridiculous way to die, and I’m going to be traveling soon anyway, so I’m not too disappointed at our demises. Many hardcore deaths are fairly anti-climactic (e.g., you’re fighting something and just end up taking too much damage too quickly and suddenly die out of nowhere), so I feel like this was definitely one of the more interesting ways for our run to end.

We’re not going to be creating new characters right away, though I guess there’s nothing stopping us from trying again at some point in the future…

 

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The Douglas Wreden FAQ

My friend Doug Wreden is a full-time content creator and live streamer. Over the past few years, I have been making relatively frequent guest ap­pear­ances in his content and collaborating with him on some of his projects, which has ultimately led to the cross-pollination of our audiences. Due to the vast size of Doug’s follower-base, it was inevitable that I receive a lot of ques­tions about Doug.

Today is his birthday, so in celebration, I decided to release this FAQ about him. I’ve tried to include multiple wordings and variants of each question so you can try to use the Find com­mand to search for a certain topic.

 

  • How did you and Doug meet?

    Doug and I met in late 2017 as co-workers at Tempo.

    Tempo currently focuses on game development, but in 2017-2018, its primary business objective revolved around esports and multimedia pro­duc­tion. I joined Tempo in 2015 and held various roles throughout the years; I still work there today doing corporate operations.

    Doug was hired in late 2017 as the Executive Producer to run our Hollywood studio. He resigned from Tempo in late 2018 to pursue in­de­pend­ent content creation, which is what he is still doing today.
     

  • Are you and Doug dating, or otherwise in some form of a romantic relationship? Can I write romantic fan fiction about you and Doug?

    No, I am not gay.

    I do not consent to my likeness being in works which include me participating in homosexual activity. With that being said, if you choose to write such works anyway, my opinion doesn’t matter and there is nothing I can do as long as you are not violating my right of pub­lic­i­ty or oth­er­wise committing com­mer­cial appropriation.
     

  • Has the extra attention you’re getting from Doug’s community been overwhelming or bothersome?

    I’ve already been a public figure for a long time—I started formally creating content online under my personal likeness in 2008, hosting and com­men­tating at live events in 2012, and con­sis­tent­ly making various on-screen and on-stage appearances throughout the years since then. Be­cause of this, I’m already familiar and com­fort­a­ble with what being a public figure entails, and pretty much any amount of non-violent and non-extremist attention will not be bother­some to me.

    Edit, January 2026:

    Although this blog post is now two years old, I noticed that there is a very small trickle of people who still view the page. A lot can change in two years, so I decided to post an update.

    I think Doug’s community is currently worse than it used to be. I do trust that the intelligent, well-spoken, witty people are still there. However, from my exposure, they are being drowned out now by people who are socially maladapted and interpersonally stunted.

    I have never felt more dehumanized than by the actions of Doug’s community. Over the past decade and a half, I have done a lot of different collaborations and made a lot of different public appearances as a broadcast personality, many of which included roles in comedy. Even then, I have still never before seen a fanbase like Doug’s where so many of the members seem to see me as nothing more than a puppet or jester at which they parrot Doug’s jokes out-of-context and hope that I “say the bit” back at them. They treat me like my only purpose is to be Doug’s sidekick.

    Note that this is all in addition to the severe ongoing intrusions and invasions into my life from Doug’s fans, about which I elaborate below in the next question.

    So yes, the attention from Doug’s community has indeed become bothersome.

    For historical purposes, my previous (and partially outdated) answer can be found below:

    With that being said, Doug’s community is unlike any other I’ve seen. I’d say about 99.99% of his fans fall within a broad scope of being “normal,” which is a much higher percentage compared to other public figures. However, the remaining 0.01% of his fans are the polar op­po­site—they are some of the most intrusive and obsessive people I’ve seen who have absolutely no sense of personal boundaries and are very out-of-touch with even the basics of societal norms.

    Although that is a microscopically small percentage, due to the sheer size of Doug’s audience, that still ends up being a sizeable number of people. Even when we account for only a fraction of the fraction of those people finding me, that has still resulted in me having several instances where these people severely interfere with my personal life. I have had multiple cases of people impersonating me or pretending to be my employee; try­ing to make contact with my family, friends, and clients; and parroting Doug-specific jokes out-of-context and in a way that they would be easily misconstrued as statements of fact, thus effectively spreading misinformation about me (more on this below).

    There are positives and negatives to everything, and this is one of the inevitable downsides of being a public figure. I’ve already accepted years ago that things like this are bound to happen at some point, and I have been taking a proactive approach implementing preventative measures to mit­i­gate the effects of future incidents that may arise.
     

  • Why can we no longer joke about you being a lawyer, police officer, doctor, or murderer anymore?

    Falsely calling me a lawyer and a police officer within the DougDoug community originated from the first time I made an in-person collaborative ap­pear­ance on his Twitch and YouTube channels during which Doug spent a majority of the time trying (and failing) to come up with a scenario where I would use my firearm against him when I am not under immediate threat of severe bodily harm or death. My steadfastly sound judgment, re­fus­al to use a firearm in any situation where it is not deemed strictly necessary, and above-average knowledge of the law birthed the jokes about legal professions and firearms.

    Jokes like this on a personal level are fine, but due to the sheer size of Doug’s audience, people kept copying these jokes out-of-context. Doug is one of many friends whose content I appear on, and most people who know me don’t also know Doug, let alone the existence of that video. With the absence of contextual cues, people will take statements at face value and be tricked into thinking that I actually hold those professions or be­hav­ior­al issues.

    Practicing law without a license or impersonating a sworn peace officer is explicitly illegal; with so many people functionally accusing me of it by de­clar­ing it out-of-context, it ended up catching the attention of a law enforcement agency and triggering a legal investigation into the matter. There were also people review bombing my office and consulting service with these claims to the point where I couldn’t keep up and realized that the best course of action would be to just take down my listing. Some people found old collaborations and videos where I was a speaker at panels and posted ironic comments like “I’m surprised he didn’t shoot up the audience,” but there was no further indication whatsoever that the com­ment was intended to be satire, which prompted past business partners to reach out to me for an explanation. I have even been approached in-person at con­ven­tions by Doug’s fans pointing and yelling “don’t shoot me with your gun,” causing many people in the vicinity to anxiously look over at me in concern.

    I strongly support open and free speech, but when such speech contains indisputable falsehoods that cause material and articulable damage to my reputation, there starts being a problem. I have asked Doug to stop making these jokes and, to whatever extent he can, make his community also stop making these jokes as a form of damage control and reputational protection.
     

  • Are you and Doug roommates/housemates? Do you and Doug live together?

    Doug and I have never formally been roommates nor housemates. Ever since 2018, I have been a resident of the Las Vegas Valley in Nevada; during that time, Doug has been a resident of Greater Los Angeles and the Seattle Metropolitan Area. With that being said, I do visit Doug a lot, so it is reasonable that some people would mistake us as roommates or housemates.

    During the 2022 portion of my cross-country road trip, I stayed at Doug’s house in the Seattle suburbs in his guest bedroom and was in and out throughout the span of a few months. As of right now, I have a designated guest room at his new house in Los Angeles County where I stay during extended visits to Southern California. Because of this, we have technically “lived together,” even though I officially am and have been domiciled in Las Vegas.
     

  • Do you expect it when Doug randomly calls you in the middle of stream? Do you know when Doug is going to call?

    If Doug uses his cell phone to call me, it is always unplanned. There have been times when Doug has called me on the phone when I’m trying to find parking in a packed city, or in the process of driving to a restaurant, or out hiking on a random mountain, or in the middle of a business meet­ing with the CEO of Tempo. At the beginning of the call, I will usually tell Doug what I am doing. None of those were made up—I was ac­tu­al­ly doing those things when he had called at those certain points.

    If Doug uses Discord to call me, it is a toss-up. If I play a material role in his stream for that day, it is always planned. For example, if I have to re­view something that Twitch chat helped him make on stream, Doug will let me know before going live and give me a time estimate of when I should be available to participate. However, if Doug has an impromptu thought or idea related to me and wants my input, and he also knows for sure that I am at my computer, he will opt to call me on Discord because the audio quality is a lot better than on cell phone.
     

  • How staged are your on-screen interactions with Doug? Does Doug act to you off-screen the same way that he acts on-screen?

    Our on-screen interactions are sometimes planned, but never scripted or staged. We may go into a broadcast knowing how we want it to play out, but it is never more than a general understanding of the goal of the segment.

    Doug does not fake his personality for his broadcasts—he actually acts like that in-person, albeit a bit of a toned-down version.

    I am also not faking my personality when I am on Doug’s broadcasts, but there is one important point to keep in mind. Doug is extremely smart, witty, and clever, and he knows how to act and what to say to get the funniest reactions out of me. This ends up naturally emphasizing and spot­lighting the aspects of my personality that complement well with Doug’s, while suppressing other aspects of my personality that might not be as relevant to the content.
     

  • What is the favorite piece of content you’ve done together with Doug?

    In my opinion, Doug always creates a fun and welcoming environment for all guests on his broadcasts and shows, so I generally enjoy being a part of all his content to which I’m invited. However, as of today, there are two specific streams that stick out as being particularly memorable.

    The first is the “I’ll have what he’s having” fast food challenge. It was a good bonding experience with Doug and his staff members, the concept was very fun, and a lot of hilarious moments came out of it. The way it played out was also so good that it felt like it was scripted—we got strung along with just the right amount of motivation (i.e., the orders were such a perfect size that it wasn’t crushingly easy, but it wasn’t also de­mo­ral­iz­ingly difficult), so it felt like I was watching a storyline on the edge of my seat, but I was a character in the story and everything was un­fold­ing in realtime around me.

    The second is eating a whole salmon in bunny costumes. I loved this stream because it was a ridiculous concept, there was a perfect amount of ab­surd­i­ty such that it was very chaotic but still manageably executable, and it was for a good cause in the sense that it was a charity stretch goal. As a bonus, the salmon was somehow miraculously delicious.
     

  • Can I send suggestions on what you and Doug can do together for a live stream or video?

    Please do not send me content ideas to do with Doug (or with any of my other friends either, for that matter). I unfortunately do not have the time to handle the logistics of executing on ideas, so the effort you put into sending them to me will be in vain. Instead, I encourage you to reach out to the other party to see if they would be receptive. If they are, and also handle all the logistics of making a certain idea happen, then chances are good that I may be willing to be a guest on their show.
     

  • Who would win in a fight, you or Doug?

    This is a strange question, because I don’t routinely consider fighting my friends, but with the unusually frequent occurrence of this question, I decided to put in some thought.

    Ever since I was a kid, I have been involved in some form of martial arts or combat sport—I started with taekwondo, added on Brazilian jiu-jitsu, and later trained some Muay Thai and kickboxing. I’ve never been consistent with training and have taken many long breaks from it, but I’ve al­ways gone back to it throughout my life. With that being said, I am a thin person, currently in the lightweight weight class and at one point even reaching as low as bantamweight.

    Although Doug does not have as extensive of a combat sport background as I do, he is much, much larger and stronger than me, and his muscles are visibly multiple times the size of mine. He is currently a light heavyweight, which is six weight classes above me—quite the difference.

    If I catch Doug with a quick knockout or submission early in the match, I have a chance at victory. However, due to my relatively poor endurance and strength, once we get into a grappling or brawling phase, Doug would win an overwhelming majority of the time.

 

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Hello furniture

As of a couple months ago, my friend Doug Wreden finished his move from the Seattle Metropolitan Area to Los Angeles County. In order to furnish his new place, he, Billie-Rae, and I decided to go on a furniture shopping adventure.

This is my look of unsettlement when I discovered that a tragically poor-quality plastic cup set was US$60 just because it had some artist’s name print­ed on the label.

Foto graffy…

is my passion.

I’m not sure why both of us look like we were caught doing something highly suspicious.

Hello, Douglas Douglas.

Ah look, it’s Doug, Billie-Rae, and Billie-Rae’s cup holder.

After looking at enough furniture, we went to get some plants too. It was extremely cold.

Every photo taken after that one either had too much motion blur or was out of focus… except this one.

 

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Hello Shufflemania

For the past handful of months, my friend Doug Wreden has been working on putting on an event called Shufflemania, a game show where participants compete in games that are rotating across multiple different save states.

For example, if the players are in a round of Tetris, there would be five different games of Tetris happening all at once, and the “shuffler” would switch among the five different games of Tetris in a random order and in random time intervals. The challenge is to keep track of all the games at once, while also making crisp inputs so that button presses are not carried over to the wrong copy of the game.

There were several days of in-studio preparation and rehearsal for the event, and I joined Doug for the final rehearsal before the show. I hadn’t seen the build process, so I was pleasantly surprised when I arrived, and the set was a lot nicer than I was originally expecting.

I also went to visit on show day.

There was a professional photographer on-site so I usually don’t bother taking regular event pictures, considering I would never be able to keep up with their skill and equipment and the quality of their photographs. However, if you’ve been a long-time reader of my blog, you probably know that I do like snapping shots from a behind-the-scenes perspective to help people immerse themselves and see what it would be like had they been there working the event—shots that you otherwise wouldn’t be able to see from the live broadcast or a well-polished set of professional photographs.

If you know me, you might know that I very rarely show up to an event unless I have some sort of active role in it. Luckily, the people there didn’t know me too well.

There was a very small live studio audience composed of some close friends of the on-screen talent, so I just sat with them, had some snacks, drank some Red Bull, and pretended like I was also just a regular spectator. However, we had a surprise in store for everyone.

The show was obviously marketed as Shufflemania, with the allure of the concept being the game shuffler. The “reveal” was supposed to be that the shuf­fler wasn’t actually an artificial intelligence model, but instead, was Jeremy Elbertson, professionally known as Jerma985, “hiding” in the computer sys­tem the entire time. Considering how advanced the shuffler was during the show and how well it interacted with players, it was blatantly obvious that it was a real person running it—and the players already knew this going into the event.

What the players didn’t know was that there was an actual real reveal planned. After the winners of Shufflemania were announced, it was disclosed that the event wasn’t actually about gaming or the shuffler, but instead, it was designed to find tennis partners for Doug and Jerma. That obviously made ab­so­lute­ly no sense and was so far-fetched that nobody believed it, but then Doug said they were playing tennis, right then and there, and led everyone outdoors.

In the chaos of the shuffler reveal and Jerma popping out of the box, I had quietly exited the studio, put on my referee jersey, grabbed the championship trophy, and went outside to wait for the real reveal. In utter bewilderment, the players navigated their way outside where we had a literal tennis court set up. I was standing by the net to explain the rules in my iconic dry and matter-of-fact manner, mixing in an arrogant implied undertone of “this is tennis, what else were you expecting?”

I was very pleased watching the players’ reactions, because it was very clear that we did a great job at hiding the plot twist. There was a nice mixture of people who were confused, people who were appalled that we committed to a gag so hard, and one person who exclaimed “Parkzer, you were in on this?”

I opened the segment by laying a foundation for the gameplay and then ordering Ludwig Ahgren to quiet down and maintain his composure because we need to uphold a level of professionalism. From there, I did a coin flip to determine who would serve first, chucked the coin far behind me, then declared that it landed heads-up even though it was blatantly obvious that the result of the coin flip was impossible to see unless you had binoculars. I then called for the match to begin and climbed up on my referee chair two and a half meters up in the air.

Throughout the match, Doug kept repeating phrases like “haven’t you ever played tennis before?” and “why did we even do this then?” to continue push­ing the idea that Shufflemania was all about tennis the entire time, not about the video games. Doug, Jerma, and I continued emphasizing how seriously every­one needed to take tennis, and at one point, I proceeded to ignore a point that Ludwig had scored, and then on top of that, also issued a one-point penalty for “improper use of verbal correspondence” after a small outburst from him.

Eventually, Doug and Jerma won, so I descended from my referee chair with the trophy and awarded it to them.

The more you think about this, the more ridiculous it gets. For example, tennis referees don’t even wear jerseys, they wear suits; the jersey top I was wear­ing was a basketball referee jersey. Tennis referees also don’t use whistles, they just talk into a microphone. We were hardly even following the rules of tennis, and I wasn’t using the proper tennis scoring system.

On top of that, Doug and Jerma, the hosts of the show, technically won their own event by winning the game of tennis.

I think the show turned out great. I’m personally not really into streamer and influencer culture, so this genre isn’t something that I would usually watch on my own, but the way Doug executed on his creative ideas was unique and compelling.

The role I played of the very serious and “normal” person—just exaggerating how different real life is from the Twitch and YouTube bubble—fit me perfectly. And of course, considering my recurring appearances in Doug’s videos and live streams, it was a nice touch to see chat excitedly spamming “PARKZER” once the camera eventually got close enough to me for people to realize I was the referee.

If you haven’t watched the show, I recommend checking it out on Doug’s YouTube channel—if not for the entire event, then at least for the silly reveal at the end.

 

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To Megan: A recap of the DougDoug claw machine plushie crusade

Hello, Megan. Thank you for your contribution to this year’s Monterey Bay Aquarium charity event, and congratulations on being a raffle winner. Your prize, as you probably already heard from Doug’s administrative assistant, is the spoils from Doug spending US$100.00 on arcade claw machines. They are now in the mail and should be arriving on your doorstep in a few days.

I guess the plushies are great if you really like plushies, but I wanted to try and make this a bit more special for you than just receiving a bunch of generic arcade machine plushies that you could’ve easily bought yourself online from a wholesaler for less than $5 each. So, fighting through my ha­tred of claw machines, I joined Doug anyway at Round1 Bowling & Amusement so I can tell you a story in photos.

Doug went into this with great confidence. He said that, with a hundred dollars, he can usually win anywhere from six to eight plushies in an average run.

Although arcade games are overwhelmingly games of chance, there is still technically a skill element to claw machines as well—any amount of good luck on the strength roll of the claw isn’t going to help you if you plop it down on the wrong spot. Doug has built up some solid competency in consistently drop­ping the claw in an optimal position.

Unfortunately, the first few machines didn’t go too well. He started out with some traditional tri-prong machines, but he just wasn’t getting lucky—the claw would be too weak to pick up the plushie at all, or it would be strong enough to lift it but not quite strong enough to retain the plushie while it moved to the reward chute.

Eventually, he went over to a bi-prong machine where he had to pick up and drop a box into the chute to win the prize. Unfortunately, the box was seated squarely in the center of metal bars and the spacing between the bars was wide enough that it would mitigate any amount of vertical motion, i.e., when the box was picked up, it would tilt and the edge would get caught in one of the gaps, then fall right back down atop the bars.

Doug spent a lot of time trying to win this particular machine, and after looking back at the photos, I’m guessing it’s because the prize was an otter plushie. Unfortunately, he did not succeed and he moved onto another machine.

The next attempt was on a machine where a dinosaur plushie was tied with string to the control arm and you had to swing it around to knock over all six boxes to win a prize. On Doug’s first attempt, he managed to hit one of the boxes at such a perfect angle that it rotated 90°, remained upright, lodged in between two other boxes, and created an unmovable pillar that functionally made the entire game unwinnable.

If Doug was hired as a municipal architect, the city of Los Angeles would become immune to earthquakes and we would never see a collapsed building ever again.

We were still at a grand total of zero prizes at this point, so Doug took a different approach—he picked out a game where, eventually, you have to win at some point. This was a game of scooping ping pong balls into cups, and with enough card swipes and enough tries, you would ultimately get a prize.

After an unsettling number of ping pong balls falling out prematurely from the claw or missing the plastic cups entirely, Doug finally accrued the re­quired six points and earned his first plushie.

Next up was another “you will eventually win” kind of machine—this was a single-prong claw that you use to push the prize off the platform, and as long as you land your drops properly, you are guaranteed a little bit of motion on the plushie every time. After three swipes of his arcade card, Doug emerged victorious with plushie number two.

“Parkzer, stop deflowering Megan’s plushie.” —Doug

With the final remaining play credits on his arcade card, Doug tried to win a panda, and even though his claw drops were on point, luck wasn’t with him and he could not secure any more prizes.

Doug felt so badly about his insufferable performance that he went to the prize redemption area and cashed in some of his reward tickets from prior Round1 visits to purchase a Pikachu plushie. In addition, our friend Dani, who also joined us at the arcade, donated the two plushies that she won as well—a penguin in a carrot costume and a penguin in a shrimp tempura costume.

Five plushies were still less than Doug was hoping for, but definitely better than just two. He signed them, packaged them all in a cardboard box, and shipped them to Azerbaijan.

Just kidding, we didn’t ship them to Azerbaijan; they were sent to your actual address. But I’m guessing you would not be particularly fond of me pub­lishing your location on my (very public) website.

And thus concludes our odyssey of war and plunder.

 

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