Although I am best known for my var­i­ous roles and ap­pear­ances as a broad­cast per­son­al­i­ty, I am a busi­ness­man by trade. I work pri­ma­ri­ly with Tem­po, an e­sports team and me­di­a com­pa­ny turned game de­vel­op­ment stu­di­o; I help run the cor­po­rate side of le­gal, fi­nance, and HR ad­min­is­tra­tion. I also pro­vide busi­ness ad­vi­so­ry serv­ices to en­tre­pre­neurs and pub­lic fig­ures. You can find more de­tails on my CV.

I'm 34 years old and live in Las Vegas. In my free time, I like to write, cap­ture pho­to­graphs, train mixed mar­tial arts, play mu­sic, and pur­sue fi­nan­cial in­vest­ment op­por­tu­ni­ties. Gen­er­al­ly, I pre­fer to do ac­tiv­i­ties that ex­pose me to nov­el ex­pe­ri­ences or help me de­vel­op new prac­ti­cal skills.

Those who know me well often de­scribe my per­son­al­i­ty as “meticulously-controlled chaos.” The MBTI types me as INTJ. I'm split be­tween In­ves­ti­ga­tor (Type 5) and Chal­leng­er (Type 8) on the Enneagram. My CliftonStrengths Top 5 are De­lib­er­a­tive, Learner, An­a­lyt­i­cal, A­chiev­er, and Com­pe­ti­tion. I score high­est in Well-Being, Self-Control, and E­mo­tion­al Sta­bil­i­ty on the SPI-27. My top trait on both the Big Five and HEXACO-PI-R is Con­sci­en­tious­ness.

I don't use so­cial me­di­a much, but my pro­files are Parkzer on Twitch, Adam Parkzer on YouTube, @Parkzer on 𝕏, Adam Parkzer on LinkedIn, Parkzer on Last.fm, and Parkzer on Letterboxd. I don't have any se­cret “alt” or “friends only” ac­counts. Never send cash, gift cards, or cryp­to­cur­ren­cy to any­one claim­ing to be me—they are all im­per­son­a­tors and scam­mers.

Below, you can find my blog where I doc­u­ment my ad­ven­tures, or­gan­ize my thoughts, and share snip­pets of my life. You can browse in re­verse chron­o­log­i­cal or­der, or you can sort by these pop­u­lar cat­e­go­ries: Highlights | Food | Las Vegas | Travel | Flights | Cruises | Face | Finance

 

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Hello, “Springtime Symphony: Music In Motion” at the Bellagio Conservatory in Las Vegas

Upon returning to the United States after my Mexican cruise, I had a chance to head back to Las Vegas, Nevada for a bit to take care of some errands before my next trip. While on the Strip, I decided to squeeze in my seasonal visit to the Bellagio Conservatory & Botanical Gardens inside MGM Resorts’ Bellagio Resort & Casino. The installation for spring 2026 was called “Springtime Symphony: Music In Motion.”

When possible, I usually like to go to these late at night when there aren’t as many people so that I can get better photos and am not being as disruptive to others around me while they wait for me to stand there for long periods of time taking multiple shots at slightly different trajectories so I can figure out which angle looks the best. As a secondary reason, I have quite a high track record of people coming up to me and asking me to take group pictures for them. It makes sense, considering that I am there with a dedicated point-and-shoot camera, so they probably assume that I have a statistically higher chance of being more qualified to take good photos for them. To be clear, I don’t mind helping out Las Vegas tourists with their photos, and I always happily accept all requests; with that being said, it still definitely slows me down quite a bit.

However, this is the new spring installation, and I felt like taking spring photos in the dark would be too depressing. The high temperatures in the Las Vegas Valley are already reaching the upper 90s°F, and we’re even about to hit summer soon. To memorialize the great weather (if by great you mean scorching), I decided to tank the inefficiencies and head out there during the daytime.

As with all floral arrangements, a big part of what makes this so great is the fragrant aroma of the flowers, which I obviously cannot share with you through this blog post. If you’re in the Las Vegas area and have some free time, I always recommend checking out the Bellagio Conservatory due to how quick and low-commitment it is, and how surreal it always feels in contrast with the Las Vegas desert.

The Conservatory will be entering its dark dates starting June 7, so you still have about three weeks left to check this one out before it gets swapped with the summer display.

Here is a bonus spring floral arrangement set up in front of Harvest, a restaurant deeper into the resort near the pool area.

If you liked these photographs and want to see more from previous installations, I also have these past blog posts (in reverse chronological order): “Lunar New Year 2026: Year of the Horse,” “All Aboard for Holiday Bells and Whistles,” “Glam Menagerie: Surrealist Summer,” “The Birds and the B’s,” and “Lunar New Year 2025: Year of the Snake.”

 

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Misc. photo dump from Royal Caribbean’s Navigator of the Seas from San Pedro to Vallarta

In case you missed it from the past three blog posts, I recently wrapped up a one-week cruise on Royal Caribbean’s Navigator of the Seas from the World Cruise Center at the Port of Los Angeles in San Pedro, California. This was the second ever cruise I’ve taken, with the first one also being with Royal Caribbean, but on their Quantum of the Seas ship instead. My cruise this time around had stops in Cabo San Lucas, Mazatlán, and Puerto Vallarta in Mexico.

I already shared my thoughts about my second Chef’s Table experience, the all-access behind-the-scenes tour of the ship, and the food I ate at each of the specialty restaurants with my unlimited dining package. I still have a bunch of miscellaneous pictures I took around the ship that I haven’t shared yet, so here is my concluding photo dump with everything else I haven’t covered.

To address my hatred of standing in line, I once again purchased The Key add-on, which is basically like a paid VIP service for certain aspects of the cruise. … The actual reason I get it is because it comes bundled with onboard Internet access, which is mandatory for me so I can continue working while cruising. With that being said, I do actually hate standing in line though, so the priority access from The Key made my boarding process much easier.

After getting through security, I joined a line with everyone else to head onto the ramp to get on the ship. I think this process would’ve been quicker if I had shown up earlier at the beginning of my priority boarding period, but because I was still waking up pretty late at that time, I didn’t want to make myself suffer through any unnecessary sleep deprivation.

I enjoy seeing the logistics of how things work. I think it is quite interesting to think about how complex and full my life is, and then realize that everyone else also has a life with just as much time as I do, and then further realize that there are hundreds of those people dedicating all their working hours into making large-scale coordinated things happen, such as a cruise.

With that in mind, I like getting a peek at the behind-the-scenes of how things are organized. This may seem very mundane, but I saw a long row of carts with checked luggage waiting to be loaded onto the ship, so I snapped a photo.

After boarding the ship, I had my welcome lunch as part of The Key. Not long after I finished eating, staterooms opened up, so I headed up to the sixth floor to drop off my bags. The Key has a system where you can leave your bags at a designated drop-off point immediately upon boarding and the staff will deliver them to your stateroom door for you if you’d like. I personally don’t use that service because it’s not that much of a hassle to bring a carry-on-sized luggage around with me for a little bit, and I’d much rather not take the risk of it getting lost.

For this cruise, I decided to get an interior room with a promenade view. During my previous cruise, I had a balcony room; it was nice, but I realized that the value that you get with the balcony relative to the upcharge is debatable.

I think if you’re cruising with family and want to spend some quiet, private time together with them, then a balcony room might make sense. However, I’m cruising solo and have no problem going out in public spaces on my own just to people-watch, so I didn’t actually really spend that much time in my stateroom (and if I did, I was working at my desk and was focused enough on my work to not care about the balcony). On top of that, if I ever actually wanted to go look at the ocean, there were plenty of public places at which I could do that.

After leaving my carry-on luggage and backpack in my stateroom, I headed back out to go for a walk and check out what Navigator of the Seas has to offer.

The main difference I noticed compared to Quantum of the Seas is that Navigator is a bit more “portioned out.” On Quantum, I felt like I could start at any point on the ship and always make it to the opposite side of that deck just by walking on a path that cuts through the entire length of the ship. However, on Navigator, things were organized in “sections,” and if you are in one isolated section, you have to do a bit more navigating before you can make it to a different section.

After everyone embarked on the ship, the sail away party started and we departed San Pedro.

On the first night of the cruise, I thoroughly walked around the entire ship to figure out where everything was and scout out some nice areas where I could work while people-watching. After returning to my stateroom and getting some work done while looking down on the promenade from my interior window, I headed over to the Royal Theater in time for the first show of the cruise.

After the show, I headed over to the Star Lounge to listen to a live performance by the band Euphoria. There was a dance floor in front of the stage, so for some of the more fun songs, people went up there to dance to the music.

Royal Caribbean’s mobile app has a convenient schedule of activities going on at all times, and especially on sailing days, that list is packed. During one of the sailing days, the art shop ran an art auction.

This was probably the stupidest art auction I have ever seen in my entire life. A staff member would bring out a piece of art to the stage, then the auctioneer would say something like “this art piece is worth over a hundred thousand dollars, but we are starting bidding today at only $70,000!” He would then count down, and obviously not a single rational soul on a cruise ship would spend tens of thousands of dollars on an impulse purchase of a random painting, so nobody would make an offer. The auctioneer would request applause anyway, and then they would swap the art piece and repeat the process.

I did not see a single art piece sold at this auction. I left early so I could eat lunch instead.

After the auction was over, they brought the art pieces back down to the designated art gallery area. While walking around and taking a look at a later time, I saw this cat sculpture. It looks nice, but knowing their pricing system, it’s probably worth $300,000, but they will give you a great deal and sell it to you for $299,999.

And of course, you shouldn’t touch it for your safety, i.e., so you won’t have to take out a second mortgage on your house to pay for the damages if you break it.

Here’s another shot of the Royal Theater for a different show. This one was very strange. At first, these two guys started as comedians and told about half an hour of jokes. … Then they randomly pulled out some bolas and swung them around and did some kind of hybrid dance and martial arts performance. It was very unexpected.

Quantum had a long walking track that stretched across the entire upper deck, but the one on Navigator felt like it was only about half the length, and it was curvy and wound around cabanas and was overall just more difficult to use. Thus, I spent a decent amount of time in the fitness center, not only to use the treadmill to get my steps in, but also to do some resistance training as well.

The gym had a back door that led to somewhat of a secret area with a row of pool lounging chairs. It was a nice place to get a peaceful view of the ocean after my workout. In the distance, you can see Cabo San Lucas; I didn’t disembark the ship because Cabo has tendering service only (i.e., they put you on a smaller ship and bring you back and forth to shore), and I get severe seasickness on small ships, so I didn’t want to take the risk.

The following day’s show at the Royal Theater was “Ballroom Fever.” Apparently I decided to take a picture of the empty stage upon my early arrival, but didn’t actually take any pictures of the show.

Here are some photos of our day docked at Mazatlán.

One of my favorite spots to work was in the Cosmopolitan Lounge on one of the upper-most decks of the ship; it had floor-to-ceiling windows that showed a great view of the pool deck and ocean.

Here are some photos of sail away from Mazatlán.

I returned to the Cosmopolitan Lounge the next day to work while people-watching again.

After wrapping up most of the work I needed to do for the day, I dropped my laptop off in my stateroom and headed out to the pool deck to watch sail away from the next port, Puerto Vallarta.

Here is the mini-golf course on the ship. I managed to get a picture of it empty because it was extremely windy and slightly drizzling this day, so it wasn’t practical for anyone to play mini-golf.

The night of sailing away from our final port, there was a performance by Jennifer Singer.

And finally, the night after that, which was an all-day sailing day, the show in the Royal Theater was “Showgirl! Past. Present. Future.”

So there are the rest of my miscellaneous photos to fill in the gaps between the other three cruise blog posts I already published.

I’d say that I had a comparable level of enjoyment on this cruise compared to my first one on Quantum. There were a lot of aspects about Navigator that were either better or worse than Quantum, but overall, I think it averaged out. One thing that did help a lot was the fact that I wasn’t as much of a newbie for this cruise as I was on Quantum, so I feel like I was able to take advantage of more of what the cruise had to offer because I knew what I was doing better.

If I find another absolutely insanely incredible bargain deal on Navigator or Quantum for one of these same sailings, then I am willing to do a repeat of one of these itineraries. However, it seems like I already experienced both ships and both longer sailings that depart from San Pedro. Thus, for my next cruise, I will most likely be looking at other ports (like ones in Florida, Texas, or Washington) so I can experience both a new ship and a new set of destinations.

 

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Hello, Chef’s Table on Royal Caribbean’s Navigator of the Seas

The last time I was on a Royal Caribbean cruise on Quantum of the Seas this past winter, I tried their Chef’s Table, a private, premium, multi-course dining experience with a small group of other cruisers. I enjoyed it a lot, so when I went on a spring cruise on Navigator of the Seas, I booked it again.

Chef’s Table is an upgraded experience that comes with an additional US$118.00 supplement. Because I purchased the unlimited premium dining package add-on prior to sailing, my upcharge was lowered to $59.00 (consisting of a $50.00 base price and a $9.00 mandatory 18% gratuity). The extra fee isn’t cheap, especially considering that all your basic meals are already included in your standard fare, but if you compare the quality of the food and service to other fine dining establishments on land, it’s actually not bad.

Chef’s tasting menus like this are usually rotated by season. Because my previous cruise was during the winter and it’s spring now, I was looking forward to seeing how they changed up the menu. Unfortunately, the course list was exactly the same as it was on my previous cruise, which was a bit disappointing. Upon the conclusion of my meal, I did some research about how frequently they change up the menu, only to discover that… they don’t. Apparently this menu is highly standardized and remains the same, year-round and fleet-wide.

I feel like this is a huge missed opportunity to hook the foodies into spending more money every time they’re on a Royal Caribbean cruise. Yes, having delicious, high-quality food is probably the most important facet of attracting customers, but if they want to monetize food enthusiasts as repeat customers, I feel like adding in at least some kind of novelty value every season would be a big plus.

So, if you already read my blog post about my previous Chef’s Table experience, then this one will probably feel like déjà vu. Regardless, I still decided to do a full post about it again because there are still some thoughts I had throughout this meal about the limited differences it did end up having compared to the one I experienced on Quantum.

I don’t drink alcohol, so in lieu of the wine pairing, I requested a non-alcoholic pairing instead. On Quantum, they had a designated non-alcoholic pairing prepared, and when I brought it up, they even asked if anyone else at the table wanted to pass on the wine and make a substitution too.

However, this time on Navigator, it felt like the non-alcoholic pairing was an afterthought. The waiter’s facial expression made it look like he was incredibly confused that I didn’t drink alcohol, and at one point during the dinner, he even asked me “would you like another one?” as if I was supposed to be ordering the mocktails myself rather than there being a pairing.

On Quantum, the waiter immediately took away my wine glasses, but on Navigator, I had six empty, unused wine glasses sitting in front of me for over half the meal, and the waiter only thought to remove them after the first three of six courses were already done. Additionally, because this was a circular table, it felt a lot more cramped. The rectangular table that was used on Quantum had more efficient usage of space because there was very little unused space on the table, but on a circular table, the entire center of the table is unreachable, so you end up having all the wine glasses really close to each other and your eating area is just basically a pie slice.

The meal started with some bread.

At this point, I noticed that there were 13 people at the table—six couples, plus me solo. I started having a sneaking suspicion that the capacity of the table was supposed to be 12, but because I was a solo diner, they squeezed in another couple so that they didn’t end up with 11 in this session and “miss out” on a spot if there is no other solo diner who signs up. That would give a partial explanation of why we all felt so cramped and had so little space.

The reason I found this out? They ran out of bread. They prepared 12 portions of bread, even though there were 13 people. I got my own blossom of bread, but the man sitting next to me didn’t get one and had to share one with his wife. He ultimately got his portion… after course number four.

After an unusually long wait, we were served the first course, scallop carpaccio with yuzu vinaigrette and crispy quinoa. This was very consistent with the previous scallop carpaccio I had on Quantum; it was cut extremely thin, so I rolled them up into tubes with the quinoa and some vegetables inside so that it had more substance per chew.

After finishing my dish, I looked up and noticed that the woman across the table from me hadn’t received one. I wondered if this was another case of the kitchen only making 12 instead of 13, but after someone else also noticed and asked her about it, she said that she had an allergy and requested a substitution. Considering how long we had to wait to get our first course, I figured that it would be plenty of time to prepare her substitute dish as well and serve everyone at once. A while after everyone at the table finished their scallop, the woman finally got her alternative dish.

I also finally received my “first” drink of the non-alcoholic beverage pairing. I say that this is the “first” because the actual first one I got was supposed to be in substitution for the welcome champagne. This one was the first drink of the actual meal.

For the second course, we received smoked tomato soup with garlic focaccia croutons. As you can see from the photograph, it was just focaccia and not croutons.

The smoked tomato soup was served plain at first, and then the chef came out to add the cream and basil sauces into the soup.

I remember from Quantum that I really enjoyed the earthiness and smoky flavor of this soup, and this is actually one of the dishes that I thought Navigator did even better. The flavor was much more intense here, almost as if the Quantum version of soup was diluted. I still had some of the bread left from before, so when I ran out of focaccia, I dipped the bread into the soup to clean my bowl.

The third course was Maine lobster salad with hearts of palm, pineapple, cilantro, and vanilla dressing.

I liked the Quantum version of this a little bit better because the Quantum’s lobster was prepared in a more pure and simple way, while this one had a lot of sauce, some of which was already soaked into the vegetables. With that being said, liking the more plain version of lobster is just a personal preference (mostly because I just really like the flavor of lobster itself); everything about this dish was delicious, including the sauce.

My next mocktail was a pineapple and coconut drink. It looks like a fruit slushie and I think it visually looks extremely sweet, but in reality, it was actually quite moderate in sweetness. That meant that it was easier to discern the flavors of the fruits themselves, which I thought made the overall flavor profile of the drink much better.

Our fourth course was roasted branzino with grilled zucchini, peppers, lemon confit, and pesto.

This was another dish that was very consistent between Quantum and Navigator. The fish was cooked very well, and the vegetables and citrus complemented it well. I noticed that the sauce here was a bit stronger than the one served on Quantum, but that was fine, as a majority of it was pooled in the moat of the plate and diners could personally decide how much to use.

A significantly noticeable difference between the dining experience on Quantum and Navigator was the skill of the sommelier. On Quantum, it was easy to tell that the sommelier was experienced and confident in the way that he explained and served the wine, but on Navigator, the sommelier made some questionable choices that even I, as someone who never drinks alcohol, found to be quite obviously unusual.

I don’t know if this was just him being nervous, but he was very fidgety with the wine bottles. I believe a reasonable expectation you can have of your sommelier presenting the wine is to hold it steady with a folded liteau so that there is minimal body heat transfer, and so the diners can still see the label on the bottle. The sommelier for our dinner seemed to really like touching the bottle with his bare hands, and not just touch it, but really get in there and massage it like he was loosening some cramps.

For one of the wines—specifically, the Leviathan Red Blend California—the sommelier poured it into a decanter first. Remember the pineapple drink I had earlier? It had a little too much in the glass, so some of it overflowed and ended up forming a puddle on the table. Do you know where the sommelier decided to place the decanter on the table so that people could look at it (after cradling it and massaging it too, for a bit)? Directly on top of the puddle. A blind man literally had a statistically higher chance to place the decanter on a dry spot of the tablecloth than this sommelier.

Here is a picture of the sommelier serving the wine to my next-seat neighbor. Hmm, I wonder why he still has so much bread left. Oh wait…

The fifth course of the evening was filet mignon.

Prior to serving it, our waiter (who, if it wasn’t clear, is the same person as our sommelier) went around the table collecting doneness level preferences. Most people ordered their steak medium rare, while the other half ranged from medium to medium well. During this process, he told an elaborate story about how it is worth trying steak cooked medium rare, even if you usually like it more cooked, and he shared some anecdotes about how he is slowly convincing his wife to eat steak cooked closer and closer to medium rare.

He had started this quest by asking the person next to me, so by the time he had gone all around the table (and also finished telling his story), I was last in line to give my order. I asked for my filet mignon to be cooked rare. He asked “oh, so you want it still mooing?” This is obviously a joke, but with this guy, I literally could not tell. Just in case there was a miscommunication, I clarified, “no, I’d just like it regular rare, not blue rare” (because blue rare is often the doneness level at which you get “your steak is still alive” comments). The waiter then repeated his joke, asking, “yes, so you want it still mooing?” to which I replied “yes, that would be great.”

Fortunately, the steak came out properly rare, and it was delicious.

The filet mignon was served with a side of potato purée, asparagus, carrots, and baby tomatoes. The chef also came around and added some bordelaise sauce to the moat; I ended up barely using any sauce because the flavor of the steak and vegetables was so great on its own.

On Quantum, the filet mignon had a nice quirk where it was served with extra crispy potato chips pressed into the potato purée. I enjoyed that the Navigator version also came with a few potato chips on the side as well. The portion was small enough that it added a nice little diversity of flavor and texture without being considered too significant a component of the overall dish.

For our final beverage of the night, we got espressos—a regular salted caramel espresso for me, and an espresso martini for everyone else.

By this point, because the service had been so excruciatingly slow, we were about to hit the end of hour 4 of our dinner and it was almost 9 PM (we started at 5 PM). Because it was so late, most people didn’t dare take more than a sip or two of their espresso martinis out of concern that the caffeine would keep them up all night. Luckily, I have the blessing (or curse, depending on how you look at it) of being immune to caffeine, so I enjoyed my entire espresso. I thought it was extra great because I also really like salted caramel.

The espressos were served in conjunction with the sixth and final course, The World.

In theme with the slow service, they brought out our orbs of chocolate first, and then our waiter disappeared for a while. They were gone for long enough (and also did not give clear enough instructions) that the woman sitting two seats away from me started cracking open her chocolate orb with her fork. I had to stop her and told her to wait a bit longer, because there was a surprise coming.

The surprise, of course, is that the waiter comes out with some warm caramel sauce and pours it over your desserts to melt the outside chocolate shell and reveal the inside.

Inside was peanut butter ganache, Valrhona chocolate mousse, and salted caramel gelato.

On Quantum, I wasn’t able to eat much of this because it was so overwhelmingly sweet that it registered on my taste buds as bitter. However, I’m happy to report that the Navigator version was not excessively sweet. I was quite excited that I was able to taste all the ingredients this time, and in celebration, I finished the entire thing.

This was also time for celebrations. Two couples were celebrating anniversaries, so they each got a small slice of chocolate cake with a candle.

On Quantum, the Chef’s Table took place in a private room all the way in the back of Chops Grille. On Navigator, the Chef’s Table is actually inside the main dining room on the center floor. I wouldn’t say either arrangement was better or worse; it was just different. I guess this version on the Navigator is better if you’re the type who wants to brag to others that you’re having a nice meal, while the more private Quantum version is better if you don’t want to hear the quiet chatter and clinking of utensils on dishes from other regular diners.

Here are some photos I took from the perspective of our dining table.

This is what the Chef’s Table dining table looked like. While taking this photograph, I did not notice that one of the couples from the dinner was still there taking pictures, so that was amusing to notice after-the-fact while I was organizing my photographs. The couple there was very kind (as was everyone else at the table); I ran into this particular couple a few days later on the pool deck when I was out for a walk, and we had a great chat about their cruising adventures.

If you want to go on a fun scavenger hunt, you can zoom into the table to see where my seat was. It’s quite easy to figure out if you know that I am the only one who finished my entire dessert and drank my entire espresso.

Here’s another view of the Chef’s Table, but from the opposite side of the dining area.

After my second Chef’s Table, my assessment of the experience remains mostly the same as before. The thing that makes it special is the interactions and conversations you have with the other diners. There were some more shy diners this time compared to my dinner on Quantum, but after the alcohol got flowing, they got a whole lot more chatty.

If you want a high-class and elegant dining experience during your cruise away from the regular bustle of the main dining room or buffet, then I would recommend this experience for people who don’t have children to bring with them and have the budget or financial flexibility for the supplemental charge. My recommendation here still stands, even with the inconsistent service I experienced on Navigator compared to Quantum.

 

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Hello, “Behind the Waves: The Insider’s Tour” on Royal Caribbean’s Navigator of the Seas

I’m not really much of a cruise excursion person. I feel like most excursions are activities you can just go do on your own, and by booking one with the cruise line, you’re basically paying a big upcharge for logistical assistance and an “insurance policy,” e.g., if you are on your excursion and there is a delay, there is a guarantee that either the ship will wait for your excursion group or the cruise line will ensure they can get you to the next port on time, all expenses covered. For some people, that peace of mind is worth it, but if you want to be smarter with your money, the value might not always land with everyone. With that philosophy in mind, I want to make sure that, if I am booking an excursion, it offers something that I cannot otherwise get on an independent adventure.

During my most recent cruise on Royal Caribbean’s Navigator of the Seas, I noticed that they had an excursion available called “Behind the Waves: The Insider’s Tour.” I obviously cannot just go in crew-only areas of the cruise ship on my own, so I figured that this would make for a great (albeit unconventional) first-ever cruise excursion for me. Prior to sailing, I saw that a lot of cruise add-ons were discounted, so I purchased a ticket to this tour for US$105.99.

For my cruise itinerary, there were two sailing days near the end of the cruise. Both of these sailing days had two timeslots each for the all-access tour, totaling four tours. I booked the afternoon tour on day 2, but after I boarded, I was notified that the day 2 afternoon tour was canceled and I was rescheduled to attend the day 2 morning tour instead. Unfortunately, I am extremely asleep that early in the morning, so I went to guest services to see what they could do; luckily, there was still space left in the day 1 afternoon tour, so they re-rebooked me to that one instead.

Upon arrival to the tour meeting spot, the staff asked us to answer a health questionnaire and fill out a brief acknowledgment that attending the tour, and thus exposing ourselves to the crew-only mechanical areas of the ship, comes with inherent risk and that we are assuming that risk voluntarily in order to participate in the tour. I am absolutely that annoying type of person who reads through contracts thoroughly and disputes clauses I don’t like; with that being said, the waiver that Royal Caribbean provided was entirely reasonable, so I had no issue signing with no further questions.

After everyone’s paperwork was sorted, the tour began in the main dining room. Hilariously, because I have always gotten the unlimited premium dining package every time I went on a Royal Caribbean cruise and have only dined at specialty restaurants (or the extended-hours café for late-night snacks), I had never eaten in the main dining room before (and probably would have never even seen it at all, if it wasn’t for the fact that the Chef’s Table experience took place at a special table deep in the main dining room).

We were seated at a few of the tables near the edge of the dining room, and shortly thereafter, the head chef came out to explain the logistics of food service. He walked us through the three-floor dining room on Navigator of the Seas, and how each floor is dedicated to a specific type of dining—standard, expedited, and flexible.

We were then led back into the kitchen where we were able to see the equipment used to prepare our meals.

This tour took place early in the afternoon, so the kitchen servicing the main dining room was still empty, as I believe the earliest timeslot for dinner service begins at or around 5 PM. However, this one random table had one random employee making pastries. I don’t know if these were for the café and they just happened to request certain desserts from this particular kitchen instead, but I instead enjoyed the thought that maybe she had just been planted there and was instructed to pretend like she’s making something so that she could be a paid actor for the tour.

The kitchen was quite large; the head chef weaved us in and out through all the aisles so that we could take a look at all the different equipment in the different subsections of the kitchen.

After wrapping up the kitchen portion of our tour, we were led out through a back door so that we could walk straight to the next crew-only area.

I found it amusing that they put all this effort into pasting an advertisement for Perfect Day at CocoCay onto the elevator, even though the only people who would see this elevator are employees (or guests on the tour). Maybe they are trying to advertise to their employees? Or maybe they just wanted the elevator to look less bland, considering that the picture they used of Royal Caribbean’s private island in the Bahamas is pretty nice.

Right around the corner was the next area of our tour, the loading zone. As is probably self-explanatory, the loading zone is used to load pallets of food, equipment, consumables, and other products onto the ship. At the end of each cruise, the same area is used to unload trash and unused goods that won’t serve a purpose during future cruises.

One of the logistics managers walked us through this area and answered questions about how the ship’s supply is controlled. He also brought us into the refrigeration unit to show us how the food was stored, and explained how the food portions were determined (i.e., based on passenger volume, expiration dates, and emergency buffer in case the ship cannot return to land for unexpected reasons).

He also let us take a quick walk through the freezer as well, though that was short-lived for most people. I took a peek inside, realized that it was quite literally freezing, noticed the icicles hanging down from the ceiling, snapped a photograph, and promptly fled.

After that, we took another crew-only shortcut around to the next area of the tour.

The garbage processing area is kept reasonably close to the loading zones, which makes sense because they’d probably want to easily get the trash off the ship.

The tour briefly brought us into the trash sorting area where they separate different kinds of garbage and recyclables, and it smelled absolutely horrific. I was surprised that the employees working in this area seem to be handling it well, even without wearing face masks or any other protective gear apart from gloves.

Hopefully they get paid generously, because smelling garbage this close to your face in an enclosed space with poor ventilation on a cruise ship sounds magnitudes worse than what people have to endure working as trash collectors on land.

Next up was the control room.

This is where engineers constantly monitor the ship, both to make sure it is in full mechanical function, and to make sure that no passengers are causing any security risks on board.

Apart from the main dining room, this was the second most peaceful area of the tour so far, so they used this space to do a little presentation about Navigator of the Seas.

I learned that the ship is apparently a lot older than I had originally thought, and it only looks fine and not particularly aged due to recent renovations. We were told that Navigator is about to reach the end of its lifespan soon, and in a handful more years, it will be moving on for its next adventure and fulfilling its next purpose, whatever and wherever Royal Caribbean will decide that may be.

This is also the portion of the tour where I was able to learn some more detailed specifications about the size of the ship.

Navigator of the Seas is part of Royal Caribbean’s Voyager class of ships. Funny enough, even with a gross tonnage of about 140,000 and a passenger capacity of about 4,000, it’s actually now considered one of Royal Caribbean’s smaller ships. Above Voyager class is the Freedom class, and then above that is the Quantum class, which holds the Quantum of the Seas on which I took my previous, first cruise.

There are also two classes above that on which I have yet to venture: Oasis and Icon. Icon of the Seas and Star of the Seas, both part of the Icon class, are just barely under double the size of Navigator of the Seas in terms of gross tonnage and passenger capacity. I do want to take a cruise on one of those ships at some point, but because they are homeported in Florida, I will have to find some time to make my way over to either Miami or Cape Canaveral to do so.

After the conclusion of the presentation in the control room, we were led out to I-95 to take a shortcut direct to our next stop. I-95 is named after the Interstate 95 on the East Coast of the United States, a highway that stretches the entire height of the country from Miami, Florida to Houlton, Maine.

The I-95 on Royal Caribbean ships serves a similar purpose—it stretches the entirety of the ship and acts as a core corridor through which crew members can go from one side of the ship to the other without needing to reroute around obstacles.

On the other end of I-95 was the laundry room. I’ve seen major laundry facilities in hotels before, but the laundry area on this cruise ship was on a whole other level.

Unfortunately, by this point, I was starting to get seasick.

If you didn’t see the blog posts from my first cruise, you might not have the context that I easily get every type of motion sickness, but I managed to overcome seasickness and grow “sea legs” after the first day of my first cruise, likely because the ship was very large and relatively stable. I think another part of it was that my brain was able to quickly pick up on the motion of the ship and get used to the fact that it would rock back and forth, so it stopped sending me panic signals.

Well, the laundry room is below sea level. That means that any of the motion of the ship is in reverse, because the fulcrum of the motion is at sea level. This means that, whatever motion my brain was anticipating, it was literally exactly in reverse while I was in the laundry room. On top of that, these tours took place on sailing days, and the seas just happened to be particularly rough.

I was already starting to feel a bit unwell upon first entering the laundry room, but comboed with the heat, chemical smells, and long duration it took while they explained how exactly they did all the laundry, my condition worsened rapidly. By the end of the laundry room section, I was definitely seasick and wanted to go lay down.

However, they saved the best for last, and there was one final section of the tour I needed to see.

The final portion of the tour was the captain’s room on deck 10. As you’d expect from the name, this is where the captain and his highest-ranking crew operate and navigate the ship. It had an amazing panoramic view out of floor-to-ceiling windows.

I don’t know if, by this point, my brain was putting in a lot of work trying to adapt to the reverse motion of the below-sea-level laundry room and I had messed it up again by going very high up on the ship shortly afterwards, but I was on the verge of vomiting. After checking in with the tour guide, she said that the tour was over and she was just hanging out to answer any leftover questions people had, so I let her know I was feeling unwell, thanked her for the experience, and excused myself back to my stateroom.

Overall, I enjoyed the tour, and I’m glad I spent a few hours on a sailing day to get a behind-the-scenes look at the ship. I’m someone who enjoys seeing how things work, so this tour satisfied that interest of mine very well. On top of that, I want to make sure I stay humble, so seeing large-scale operations like this run by highly qualified and intelligent people acts as a motivating factor for me to continue learning and growing so I can keep up with the rest of the world.

Cost-wise, I think ~US$100 might be a little bit high for a tour like this, especially considering that the price I paid was after a discount. I am guessing that the all-access tour on Icon of the Seas or Star of the Seas would be longer, so a $100 price point might be more reasonable for those ships, though I’m guessing that they might already be scaling it up for the larger ships and it might already be more expensive there. Regardless, I guess the market demand is setting the price of the tour, and considering how long Royal Caribbean has been in business, they probably already have analytics-based algorithms in place to determine ticket prices.

With that being said, at $100 per ticket, I think this is on the borderline of being just an enthusiast’s tour (i.e., you’d only find it worth it for the price if you already have an intrinsic interest in the topic), rather than a generalist’s tour. I personally thought it was worth it for myself, but it is probably not a tour I would repeat in the future unless there was a very special version of it for the newest Icon class ships that focused deeply on the latest technological advancements.

 

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Food photo dump from Royal Caribbean’s Navigator of the Seas from San Pedro to Vallarta

After what I would consider a fairly successful first-ever cruise experience for me on Royal Caribbean’s Quantum of the Seas, I continued keeping an eye out on various cruise lines’ websites to check for opportunities to book a second cruise. Eventually, I ended up managing to catch a great deal on Royal Caribbean’s website for a 7-night cruise to Cabo San Lucas, Mazatlán, and Puerto Vallarta.

The base fare for a solo cruiser in an interior cabin was $1,156.00, but it came with a $347.00 discount as part of a sale, another $226.00 discount on top of that for a different promotion, and an additional $81.00 discount even on top of that for being a Nevada resident. (Apparently the resident discount applies to short-notice bookings for residents of states neighboring the port, which is a way to incentivize nearby people to book the cruise assuming that traveling the relatively short distance won’t be too much of a hassle for them.) With $155.82 added on for taxes, fees, and port expenses, my total base fare for this trip was US$657.82. I bought a bunch of add-ons so the grand total was closer to a thousand dollars, but for the base price, $657.82 is insanely low.

I’m a bit behind on blogging right now, and I’ve actually been back from this cruise already for one week. However, I’m taking a brief break from traveling and have a bit more time now, so I’ll be catching up soon. I used this extra free time to go through and organize my cruise photos, and I’ve decided to split it up into four blog posts (this one being the first one).

To start, here is a rundown of (most of) the food I ate on the cruise.

Like last time, I purchased a premium dining package add-on that allowed me to eat at any specialty restaurant for no extra charge (apart from the extra charge of actually purchasing the add-on, that is). Normally, all meals are included in your fare, but if you get this add-on, you get to go to more private and higher-quality on-board restaurants instead of the buffet or main dining room. This cost me $214.62 extra for the 7-night cruise, which is broken down into $181.93 for the package and $32.69 for a mandatory 18% prepaid gratuity.

Also like last time, I purchased The Key for $181.93 (this is separate from the dining package, and it is just a coincidence that they share the same base price, which was due to a pretty steep discount on The Key). The main perk of this is the fact that it includes on-board Internet access, but it also comes with a special welcome lunch and departure breakfast.

The welcome lunch on Quantum of the Seas was great—I had a nice, private window seat and enjoyed some delicious fish. The welcome lunch on Navigator of the Seas, however, was a bit… different. Instead of giving everyone a private table, they randomly grouped some strangers into larger parties. For example, rather than giving me a solo table, I was put in a group of nine at what is basically a really big family dining table. This is fine for something like the Chef’s Table where you’re intentionally opting into it, but it seemed weird for a regular meal like this.

Regardless, thanks to a handful of chatty people at our table, it wasn’t too bad. I got to know some new people, and many of them were intrigued at my mobile lifestyle of traveling non-stop and living out of hotel rooms most of the time.

As the main entrée of my lunch, I ordered some branzino with asparagus. Similar to last time, the fish came out looking sort of sad, but taste- and texture-wise, it was great.

For dinner on embarkation day, I dined at Izumi Sushi. I intentionally scheduled sushi night to be the first night because I wasn’t sure if I was going to get seasickness, so I figured that it would be best to try and get ahead of it and eat a lot of ginger from the sushi restaurant as a preventative measure.

As my appetizer, I had crispy rice spicy tuna, which was made from creamy tuna, masago, spicy aïoli, chili garlic oil, hot crispy rice, and jalapeño.

For my first main course, I ordered a poke bowl with seasoned tuna, salmon, avocado, sea salt, sesame chili oil, onions, scallions, masago, seaweed salad, and sushi rice.

I comboed that with my second main course, the assorted sashimi with salmon, yellowtail, and shrimp. It looked like getting the sashimi was much better value than getting the assorted nigiri in terms of portion size. Because the poke bowl came with plenty of sushi rice already, I fished some out and combined it with the assorted sashimi to have some build-your-own nigiri.

For dessert, I had assorted mochi ice cream. It usually comes with one piece each of mango, strawberry, and chocolate, but I requested for the chocolate to be replaced with a second piece of mango. It’s not that I dislike chocolate, but rather, I just find more consistency in liking fruity flavors instead.

This is what the entrance of Izumi looked like.

This is a shot of the interior of Izumi. I had a fairly late dining time, so it was pretty empty by the time I was there.

Next on my rotation was Jamie’s Italian. I dined there twice—one time for lunch, and one time for dinner on a different day.

On the day that I went for lunch, I started my meal with their ultimate garlic bread, which is made from warm artisan buttermilk buns, herby garlic butter, Parmesan, and rosemary.

For my main entrée, I ordered truffle tagliatelle.

I remembered from Quantum of the Seas that this pasta dish was borderline-inedibly salty, so for this one, I put in a special request with the waitress to minimize the amount of excess salt that was added to this dish. She passed along my preference to the chef, and it was very well honored; this came out at the perfect saltiness level, and it tasted great.

For dessert, I got some ice cream topped with fruits and caramel popcorn.

Jamie’s Italian was located inside the Windjammer Buffet in its own dining room along the edge of the ship. This meant that I got to enjoy a great view of the ocean through the floor-to-ceiling windows while dining.

On the day that I went to Jamie’s for dinner, I started with some crispy squid with a side of lemon and garlic mayo sauce.

For my main course, I had lasagne made from slow-cooked beef and pork, topped with herbs, baked in a Béchamel sauce with tomatoes, mozzarella, and Parmesan. I’m usually not the biggest fan of eating a ton of cheese, but the cheese in this dish wasn’t unpleasantly pungent like some other cheeses are. This was also specially made with low sodium, which made me like it more than I expected.

For dessert, I had a banana split with one scoop each of vanilla, chocolate, and strawberry ice cream, topped with caramel popcorn and a caramel drizzle. This was incredibly delicious and possibly the best dessert I had on the ship. The caramel was torched in a way such that, combined with the banana, it tasted like a fruity crème brûlée.

Next is the big one: Hooked Seafood. Seafood is my favorite type of food, so I spent three of my dinners dining at Hooked.

Each dinner started with some cheesy bread.

The first night at Hooked, I selected fresh-shucked oysters with mignonettes as my appetizer.

That was followed by The Captain’s Platter as my main entrée, consisting of a four-ounce lobster tail, grilled halibut filet, and three jumbo shrimp. This was accompanied by some melted butter as the dipping sauce and some seasonal vegetables as the side dish.

Afterwards, I opted for a lemon tart for dessert.

The second night at Hooked, I started with some mussels steamed in a garlic white wine sauce.

For my main entrée, I ordered a grilled salmon filet. I got this because I figured the portion size of the fish would be larger, but it was about the same as what was served in The Captain’s Platter. The platter didn’t have an additional upcharge, so it seems like it is just categorically better, considering that you get to select the type of filet you want anyway, and you get the “bonus” lobster tail and shrimp as well.

For my side, I got some lobster mac and cheese. It was quite greasy and didn’t really have much lobster in it, so I would’ve probably been better off trying the coleslaw or corn on the cob instead.

For dessert, I got a cherry tart topped with a scoop of vanilla ice cream.

For my third and final night at Hooked Seafood, which was also the final dinner I had on the cruise ship before debarkation day, I ordered some baked oysters as my appetizer—half Rockefeller and half leeks and white wine. I’m glad I got to try this for the sake of variety, but I much preferred the fresh oysters and drunken mussels instead.

My main course this day was the surf and turf, which came with a lobster tail and steak. I’m still working on improving my heart health and minimizing my consumption of saturated fat, so I’ve been avoiding red meats where possible. With that being said, I figured that, even though filet mignon isn’t as low in saturated fat as cuts like the round, it’s lean enough that I could enjoy a surf and turf for one of the days.

For my final dessert at Hooked, I got a coconut cream pie, made from coconut custard and topped with whipped cream and toasted coconut. It also came with a few dollops of caramel and a few dots of chocolate sauce.

This is what the interior of Hooked Seafood looked like.

And finally, the last specialty restaurant I went to, which rounds out all the available options, was Chops Grille, Royal Caribbean’s popular American-style steakhouse.

Upon being seated, I was brought some bread: one piece of onion bread, and one piece of pretzel bread. It came with a side of butter, but I opted to just have the bread on its own because I didn’t feel like clogging my arteries that day.

For my appetizer, I ordered a pan-seared crab cake topped with fresh herbs and served alongside some chipotle aïoli.

For my main entrée, I ordered a hand-cut nine-ounce filet mignon cooked rare. According to the menu, their filet is sourced from the Midwest. I requested the sauce on the side in the moat of the plate and only used a very small portion of it, considering that I like the actual flavor of the beef and don’t want strong sauces to overwhelm or detract from the flavor.

For my sides to go along with the steak, I asked for half portions each of Yukon gold mashed potatoes and grilled jumbo asparagus.

To conclude my meal at Chops, I got some key lime pie as dessert.

And finally, the last thing I ate on the ship before disembarking was an Eggs Benedict with crab cake and avocado, along with a side of hash browns. This was part of the special à la carte breakfast that came with The Key, and luckily, I had a private dining experience this time and didn’t have to share a large family-style table with strangers.

Overall, I’d say that I liked the food on Navigator of the Seas a little bit more than the food on Quantum of the Seas. However, that comes with a few caveats. I enjoyed the Italian food on Navigator more because I learned from my mistakes on Quantum and asked for the sodium reduction. Additionally, I just really like seafood, so the fact that there was a dedicated seafood restaurant this time basically by default made me like Navigator’s food more. I did enjoy the creativity of Wonderland on Quantum of the Seas, but that was somewhat gimmicky and didn’t contribute as much to the overall perception of core food quality.

There are three things not pictured in this blog post:

The first is the food from Café Promenade. This is the late-night option for people who want something to eat after the buffets and main dining rooms are closed, and I usually only came here when I had intensive workouts at the fitness center and needed some extra calories before ending my night. I usually just got some pastries or pizza from here, and they weren’t particularly notable or special (the pizza tasted like generic grocery store frozen pizza).

The second is Johnny Rockets. Navigator of the Seas has a Johnny Rockets Express on the pool deck that usually sells burgers à la carte for an extra charge, but because of my premium dining package, I was able to redeem one combo (a burger, fries, and beverage) for free every day. I only went here a couple of times, and I guess I ended up forgetting to take a picture of my burger every time. The burgers and fries here were the equivalent of what you’d find at a decent fast food restaurant on land. It was worth it for me because it was inclusive in my dining package, but otherwise, it’s around a $15 additional supplement, which I think is way too high for the circumstances (specifically, the fact that you can get other good food elsewhere on the ship for no extra charge).

And finally, the third is the Chef’s Table. I had it last time on Quantum of the Seas and enjoyed the experience enough that I booked it again for Navigator of the Seas. It usually costs an extra $118 per person, but with my unlimited dining package, I was able to get it for a discounted $59 upcharge (composed of a $50 base price and a $9 mandatory 18% gratuity). I will have a dedicated blog post on the Chef’s Table coming up soon.

 

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Hello, Hayworth in Henderson, Nevada

I’m a bit behind on blogging right now, and after my recent trip to Hong Kong, I have since taken and finished another entirely separate trip (which I will blog about soon). However, in between those two trips, I returned to home base in the Las Vegas Valley to take care of some errands, and while in town, I met up with one of my friends who wanted to check out a new restaurant called Hayworth in Henderson, Nevada.

I am often fairly selective with restaurants that I blog about. I understand that online reviews can have significant influence on the success of a business, and even though I maintain that I am just a casual blogger who likes to write about my life, the reality of the situation is that my blog posts end up on the front page of search engine results for restaurants with surprising frequency. Thus, when I write reviews, I usually only write about chef’s tasting menus or omakase experiences such that someone else can go to that same restaurant and replicate my same experience. I avoid writing about à la carte restaurants because a bad experience could be attributed to myself doing a poor job at assembling a meal from the menu options, so for those kinds of restaurants, I usually do “food photo dumps” where I just share pictures but don’t go into too much detail.

With that being said, I do really want to stick with the idea that this is just the personal website of some random Asian guy from America. I don’t want to hold myself to too high of a standard for my blog, because I want this to be a fun and enjoyable way to leave a record of my life online, and I don’t want to fall into the trap of not releasing content because I don’t think it meets an arbitrary, meaningless standard.

The fact that I had to give that introduction probably foreshadows how I feel about this restaurant. However, I do think it is important to note that just because I did not have the best experience does not mean that you also will not have a good experience. As of today, Hayworth has stellar reviews online, and when I went in-person, I did not see any signs or receive any requests from staff that may have prompted those skewed reviews (i.e., nobody asked me to leave a positive review). Surely, that many people can’t be wrong, so make sure you’re only taking my opinion as one data point, rather than just trusting me entirely.

So with that out of the way, this was our meal.

 
For our starter, we ordered some warm challah knot bread topped with poppy and smoked sea salt.

At first glance, the texture seemed nice and it looked very flaky, but upon biting into it, I realized it was very dry. It was not flaky at all; instead, it was quite crumbly. It reminded me of when I was younger and my mom would tell me to buy dinner rolls at the grocery store, but I forgot to look at the expiration date on the packaging so I ended up accidentally grabbing a pack that expires tomorrow, and my mom would try and make up for my mistake by microwaving the bread, but that would only just make it worse.

The bread came with a side of whipped chicken schmaltz. My heart isn’t healthy enough for me to be eating globs of saturated fat, but I still gave it a taste—not only because I wanted to see what it was like, but also because I was curious if the fat would help soften the bread.

No, I did not like it. And no, it did not help the dryness of the bread.

For my beverage, I asked my waitress to ask the bartender to surprise me with their best non-alcoholic drink. She asked me to narrow it down a bit, so I let her know that I like fruity flavors. She came back with a mixed berry mocktail.

This was extremely intense in flavor and extremely sweet, as if it was overloaded with syrup. That wasn’t functionally a problem for me, though; I thought the flavor itself was good, and I had no problem sipping some of the drink and then following it up with a sip of water to help dilute it and make the taste less overwhelming.

For our second appetizer, we got steak tartare made from hand-chopped filet. This was prepared tableside as cart service.

As you can probably tell from the photographs, there were a lot of ingredients added to the steak and egg yolk. The server was at it for a while.

You might have noticed a strange blue ingredient mixed in with the beef. We asked what it was, and the server revealed that it was… Takis Blue Heat Rolls. Now, don’t get me wrong, I love when restaurants make innovative, experimental dishes and add new twists to their menu. But I feel like there is still some kind of threshold somewhere that should not be crossed. I’m wondering whether putting blue Takis in beef tartare exceeds that line.

I’m someone who loves beef tartare for the flavor of the beef. Unfortunately, this beef tartare had way too much going on for my preference. It had too many additions that masked the flavor of the beef, and then to top it all off, the blue Takis were so strong that they masked the flavor of the additions. Ultimately, it sort of just tasted like a mess.

My friend consigned this dish after trying only a little bit, so I ended up eating an overwhelming majority of it. I didn’t like it, but I didn’t dislike it so much that I would let it go to waste, so I finished it all. Throughout the process, I was secretly hoping that some magical culinary miracle would happen where my tastebuds would suddenly become taste-blind to the Takis and then a completely new flavor profile would emerge, but alas, the entire thing just kept on tasting like Takis.

I don’t regret having this, because now I can say that I went to a restaurant and they crushed some Takis into my beef tartare, and that just sounds absolutely hilarious. However, I definitely would not have this again.

For my main entrée, I ordered two pasta dishes. The first was cavatelli with brown butter whey, Grana Padano, soft herbs, and black pepper.

This was my favorite dish of the dinner. It was a bit too salty for my preference, but it was still delicious. The texture of the cavatelli was perfect. The overall flavor profile had a great combination of traditional savoriness with an unexpected kick of light earthiness. I think a lot of what made this dish great was the sauce, so the shape of the cavatelli was ideal for absorbing and retaining the sauce.

The second pasta dish was a disaster. It was beef tongue agnolotti with crème fraîche (which was comically written as “créme fraiché” on the menu), chicken jus, chili crisp, and duck fat crumble.

I’m someone who has tried the most expensive cuts of A5 Japanese wagyu, but even then, believe it or not, my favorite cut of beef is… tongue. There is just something about beef tongue that is very delicious to me. Maybe it’s because I’m tasting my food, my food is tasting me, and thus, great balance emerges into the world. However, there is a caveat to that.

I like to categorize beef tongue into two broad groups: Korean-style 혀 and Mexican-style lengua. Of course, there are many more ways to cook tongue than just those two variants, but basically, the key difference for me is whether it is sliced and seared or diced and braised. I still like the diced and braised style of cooking tongue, but I really like the sliced and seared way. Sliced-and-seared tongue is usually lightly or minimally seasoned, and because of the method of preparation, the flavor of the tongue gets to speak (or lick) for itself. And the best part of it all? The texture is chewy, bouncy, and snappy, and when seared perfectly, sometimes even comes with a light crisp—this all makes for a very fun eating experience.

Unfortunately, this agnolotti was prepared the braised way. Doubly unfortunately, whatever marinade they used was repulsively salty to the point that the shredded beef tongue in each piece of agnolotti tasted bitter. To top it all off, the sauce was also way too salty, and it was just covered in grease and fat.

My friend ordered a 20-ounce prime New York strip steak. When I asked him for a review of it so I could include it in my blog post, he shrugged. I sampled a small portion of it, and my assessment was, “this steak is steak.” He agreed with my analysis. There wasn’t anything particularly remarkable about it… which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it also isn’t preferred over being notably high quality.

The strangest thing about the steak, though, is the fact that it came with a side of kettle-cooked potato chips. I think it might have been better if it came with a well-balanced set of thick-cut fries and mixed vegetables as the sides, but I guess these potato chips definitely added to the memorability of the steak.

For dessert, we got a sticky plum pudding to share. The portion size was satisfyingly larger than expected, and the flavor profile seemed good, but this was way too sweet for my preference.

Here are some photos I took of the interior of the restaurant. This first picture is of the bar area; my friend ran into some unexpected delays and was about 15 minutes late for our reservation, so I waited in this bar area for our table to be assigned and prepared after he arrived.

This is what the dining area looks like. It is empty in these photographs because I took this right before departing and we were some of the last people there finishing our meals, but even just an hour before this, the restaurant was absolutely packed and bustling.

This is the exterior of the restaurant. The sign says they were established in 1976, but this particular location took over the spot and celebrated their grand opening only a couple months ago, in February.

Warm bread and schmaltz $   9.00
Steak tartare $  27.00
Cavatelli $  25.00
Beef tongue agnolotti $  27.00
Prime New York strip steak $  69.00
Sticky plum pudding $  14.00
Berry mocktail $  12.00
Diet Coke $   5.00
Gratuity (18%) $  33.84
Sales tax (8.375%) $  15.72
Total $ 237.56

This table to the right shows how much we paid. My friend and I split the bill half-and-half and processed each of our respective halves separately on the mobile payment device, so he might have tipped more than I did; I used my own numbers and scaled it up accordingly just for the purposes of this breakdown.

It’s probably needless to say at this point, but I do not think Hayworth is worth the money. If I had shown up for a quick lunch and ordered only the cavatelli with the berry mocktail, then I guess I would’ve given this restaurant a glowing review, but overall, the dishes were hit-or-miss (with way too many misses).

The service was remarkable. All the staff seemed not only well-trained, but also just socially savvy and intuitive people who genuinely enjoyed working at Hayworth and interacting with customers. Another funny element related to that is, throughout our meal, I think we ended up speaking with and getting checked on by four or five different people. Near the end, my friend started joking about how it seemed like management was basically just throwing the entire kitchen personnel roster at us. If this restaurant was rated on service alone, it would be top-tier.

However, unfortunately, I think their style of cooking is a bit too crude and primitive. The way the dishes were far too salty, fatty, and/or sweet made me think that this kind of preparation would be satisfying for hunter-gatherers who are chasing after those biologically carnal dopamine hits that signal high-calorie survival foods. If you’re looking for more refined dishes where the individual ingredients are left to speak for themselves, then I don’t think Hayworth is an optimal choice for a multi-course dinner.

 

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