Hi, I'm Adam.

Adam Parkzer   •   27   •   Las Vegas, USA   •   5'10" (178 cm)   •   142 lbs (65 kg)   •   Korean American

Most people nowadays know me as the guy who does a little bit of everything at Tempo Storm, or have seen my work as a king-of-all-trades in the online en­ter­tain­ment industry. I've been a multimedia producer, play-by-play shoutcaster, event host, broadcast journalist, web developer, graphic designer, and con­sultant; I apply my vast foun­da­tion of experience to my current position at one of the world's most influential and decorated professional esports franchises.

When I was younger, I earned a Bachelor of Science degree with a specialization in sociology, psychology, and criminal justice from the University of Wisconsin-Madison. I started working on a Master of Science degree in the secondary education of social sciences from Northwestern University, but never finished. I plan to complete my degree some day in something relevant to my new field of work.

My hobbies and interests include the Internet, computers and technology, writing, martial arts, and the fourth dimension.

Check out my social media profiles and channels: @Parkzer on Twitter, AdamParkzer on Flickr, Parkzer on Twitch, and Adam Parkzer on YouTube. You can also browse my Amazon wish list if you want to treat me to a gift.

Below, you can find my blog.

 

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That truck is not a truck

I’ve been waiting patiently for the Tesla pickup truck for over half a year. I was disappointed when the reveal kept on getting postponed, but when the date was set for November 21, I was counting down the days. When I woke up this morning and saw that it was the 21st, I was actually excited.

At 8 PM PST, I tuned into the Tesla live stream to watch the reveal. The broadcast started with a weird light show, then the truck came out. At first, I thought it was a meme.

But the truck stayed on the stage, and Elon Musk kept talking about the vehicle.

The vehicle that looks like my GPU failed 1/10th of the way into rendering all the polygons. The vehicle that looks like one of those unrealistic cars that children draw when they aren’t quite old enough to be able to fully translate what they see in person into a proper depiction on paper. The vehicle that looks like it hasn’t quite found its Up-Grade and Dubious Disc so it still isn’t done evolving into Cybertruck2, then Cybertruck-Z.

If anyone thinks that the Cybertruck is going to change the course of the pickup truck market, then I think they are sorely mistaken. A majority of people who are true pickup enthusiasts probably wouldn’t even classify the Cybertruck as a real truck. The Cybertruck is a malformed SUV at best, and a model that ceases production after one year at worst.

The reason I had such a personal interest in this vehicle is because I was actually planning on upgrading to an electric pickup truck in the coming few years. I own a GMC Canyon, and there’s an ongoing class action lawsuit against General Motors in regards to a malfunctioning transmission—a trans­mis­sion used by my truck. Because of this, unless this class action lawsuit resolves and I can get an entirely new transmission or something, I’m not too excited about keeping my truck past its powertrain warranty.

Electric pickup trucks are beginning to get revealed nowadays. In a year or two, they’ll actually be under production and start going on the market. Buy­ing a brand new vehicle right away isn’t a great idea though—it’s better to wait a year or two to let the manufacturer collect consumer feedback and make any necessary changes and fixes first. This puts us at right around four years from now as a great time to buy an electric pickup truck—which is right when my powertrain warranty runs out.

I’m part of the “newer” generation of truck owners who like pickup trucks for slightly different reasons than traditional truck drivers. I own a truck to use as a daily driver, not just for extreme hauling/towing or work. Sure, I want to be able to haul and tow in case I ever need it, but to me, the versatility and just the ability to do whatever I want with my vehicle is basically just as important as actually going out and doing it. Chances are, I’ll be happy that I know I can haul and tow if I want to, but I might not ever actually go do it on a regular basis.

Thus, just the numbers and specs of the truck aren’t going to be enough. I’m not just going to look at min-maxing payload numbers, towing numbers, and price to optimize my purchase; instead, I’m going to look for qualities of the pickup truck that people would look for in regular sedans, crossovers, and SUVs too.

When you buy a sedan or SUV, you’re not just looking at the best specs for the best price. You’re also looking at features, aesthetics, and overall com­pat­i­bil­i­ty with your personality type. When I went to buy my pickup truck, I considered all those elements, and more. I looked for a pickup truck with a design that I liked—and most new truck buyers will do the same. And most new truck buyers generally opt for trucks because they want something that looks ag­gres­sive.

Pickup trucks are generally associated with toughness, so newer trucks are all coming out with angry-looking front fascias, bold and powerful body styles, and sharp grilles that make nearly a 90° angle with the hood. If I were to come up with a visual representation of exactly how not to look aggressive, I’d probably now show everyone the Cybertruck.

Another element of pickup trucks that appeals to me—as well as a lot of other pickup truck owners—is the customizability. In my opinion, a truck needs to look good stock right off the dealership’s lot, but it also needs to have some degree of “plainness” to it to allow it to be a great canvas for mod­i­fi­ca­tions. Too much plainness and the truck will look boring and unappealing, but too little and it just ends up being too complex. I’ve also noticed that pickup truck owners have a greater degree of pride of ownership than most other vehicle owners, and it’s tough to be prideful of your truck if you can’t change it to truly make it your own.

There doesn’t really seem to be much you can do to customize the Cybertruck. I’d imagine that you can go all-out and add graffiti spray paint onto the surface so your Cybertruck is a rolling piece of art, but beyond that, there doesn’t seem to be much you can do.

The wheels and tires seem to be very unique to the Cybertruck, and I’d imagine you can’t just go buy new rims and stick them on. There’s automatically-adjusting air suspension, so you probably can’t lift the truck. The back is pre-covered like an SUV, so you can’t pick your own style of bedliner and bed cover to fit your needs and wants. The exoskeleton is a single piece, so I’d assume you can’t swap out the grille.

So where does the Cybertruck fit in, if it’s not likely to appeal to the current pickup truck—neither the more “modern day” pickup truck buyers, nor the traditional pickup drivers who use them for work?

For this, I draw a connection to the Jeep Wrangler. Technically, the Jeep Wrangler is just a regular SUV, but when people rate SUVs, they consider Jeeps to be their own sub-segment. You’ll rarely see Jeep Wranglers listed within traditional SUV ranking, and even when you go to rent a car, they’ll often separate Jeep Wranglers into its own rental category. People don’t deny that it’s an SUV—it’s just that it’s a bit too different to be properly comparable.

The Cybertruck will likely end up being its own sub-segment of the pickup truck category. It definitely has a bed, and it’s definitely just as capable and versatile as a pickup truck… but it’s just a bit too different to be properly comparable to the pickup trucks we have today.

If I were to take a guess, I think this would actually appeal more to supercar buyers than pickup truck buyers. The transition towards crossovers and SUVs is definitely still happening (albeit plateauing for now), and someone who normally drives a supercar who wants a bit more size to their ride might opt to get the Cybertruck. But other than that, I think that if Tesla was truly targeting the current pickup truck market, then they missed the mark.

I will not be purchasing a Cybertruck.

 

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Hello Atlanta

I feel like I travel all the time. I traveled a massive amount back in 2016-2017 when I first went full-time with Tempo Storm, because I was heavily in­volved in esports back then. But even now, I feel like I’m going all over the place to all different kinds of conventions and events.

When I went to actually map out my travel to see how many states I’ve been to… I realized that I don’t actually really travel that much. That is, I definitely do travel frequently, but I generally just go back and forth to the same locations over and over again. One of the most noticeable things that my travel map told me was that I had never been to the southeastern corner of the United States.

So when DreamHack Atlanta came up and our PUBG Mobile team was going to compete there, I seized the opportunity.

Atlanta

DreamHack and ESL only provided lodging for our players, so our PUBG Mobile manager needed to get a hotel room anyway. This functionally meant that I could share a room with our manager, and our only effective cost for me to attend would be my airfare. With most things aligning well enough for me to be able to experience the southeast for the first time, I hopped on a plane and made my way over to Atlanta.

I like taking very-early-morning flights out of Las Vegas, so I booked my flight to Atlanta to depart at 6 AM. When I went outside and called an Uber though, apparently nobody was around, so I ended up having to wait longer than anticipated, then also had to pay surge pricing. This cut into my time quite a bit, and I wasn’t able to stop by the lounge to grab some breakfast before I leave like I usually do. That, along with the fact that the cabin was unusually cold and my seat recline was broken, made for one of the most uncomfortable and sickening travel experiences I’ve had in a while.

Things got marginally better when I arrived in Atlanta, but like clockwork, I tend to feel ill for the first ~20 hours after arriving at a new location for travel. It wasn’t incapacitating, though, so I spent the first night taking the PUBG Mobile players out to dinner.

Atlanta

The next day was the actual event. This was my second DreamHack; my first was DreamHack Austin 2016 when we had a Heroes of the Storm and Counter-Strike: Global Offensive team competing.

Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to make it to the convention center early on in the day because I had a string of pretty important meetings lined up, but when I managed to finally wrap those up, I headed over to the Georgia World Congress Center. I made it just barely in time to catch the tail end of the PUBG Mobile team competing.

Atlanta

After tournament day was over (PUBG Mobile only played for a single day), I went with the players for a second team dinner, this time to all-you-can-eat Korean BBQ, which has effectively become a tradition at Tempo Storm at this point. I used to take the players out for a big, satisfying meal on the day that they arrived, but after a few teams got sick from overeating, I stopped doing AYCE KBBQ until after everyone was done competing.

Atlanta

The AYCE KBBQ restaurant we went to was a bit different and strange compared to what I was used to, but the meat quality was surprisingly good.

Atlanta

… I was busy cooking and had no time to pose for photos.

Atlanta

The city of Atlanta itself was a bit uninviting because it rained for a majority of the time I was there, but it was an interesting experience. I feel like esports events and conventions are relatively sheltered from the outside world, so I didn’t really get to experience the true Atlanta… except for when we were in our Uber on our way to get KBBQ and literally four cars operated by some of the worst drivers I’ve ever seen proceeded to attempt to commit suicide by driving straight into us.

The view from my hotel—the AC Hotel Atlanta Downtown—was surprisingly good, as it had a nice mix between open and city views, and I was lucky enough to get a room on the eighth floor. The gloomy weather also made for some interesting photo opportunities of the tops of tall buildings com­plete­ly obscured by fog, which isn’t something that I’m able to see on a regular basis in Las Vegas.

Atlanta

The return flight was much better—the cabin air temperature was much more reasonable, and my seat’s recline worked—and although I was only able to stay in Atlanta for three days (two of which were travel days coming in and going out), it was still a pretty good experience.

I’ve become completely jaded towards conventions and esports tournaments now, but going back to another DreamHack-branded event for the first time since 2016 brought back some traces of pleasant memories from when I was still new to esports and every event was a new experience.

 

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Another trip to SoCal

As the hunt for another property continues, I made my way back to SoCal—this time by driving—and met up with reynad to do some more property tours. Last month, I hit 8888 miles on my odometer, and on my way from Las Vegas to SoCal for this travel session, I dinged 10,000:

10,000

I bought my truck new on July 30, 2018, so it took right around 14 and a half months to hit 10,000 miles. Most people hit 10,000 right around the one-year mark because they commute back and forth from work. I have the luxury of working remote and not needing to commute daily, but I also do quite a bit of road travel with my truck for business purposes going back and forth between Las Vegas and SoCal and driving all over SoCal, so I guess that’s comparable to most people’s daily commute.

We’ve more-or-less secured the new property in the Hills for Tempo Storm, so I don’t want to give too many additional details in order to maintain confidentiality, but I do have a few photos that I took from the Hills when we were on the way back down to Beach Cities after our tours:

IMG_4472

IMG_4474

I’m pretty excited for this new property (to be clear, it’s not the white house pictured above), as I feel like the one we picked is a unicorn house, in that it’s particularly stellar for its price point. It has a huge “wow” factor, the architecture is amazing, and it has a lot of innate features that make it extremely convenient for our purposes.

After wrapping everything up, I headed back east and visited my aunt and uncle’s home up in the Santa Ana Mountains on my way back to Las Vegas. Of course, a visit to the mountains wouldn’t be complete without yet again another small photo shoot with my truck.

GMC Canyon in Santa Ana Mountains

GMC Canyon in Santa Ana Mountains

I have family visiting this coming weekend, then I’ll have about a week and a half of time to myself before even more travel—I’ll be headed to the Anaheim Convention Center for BlizzCon 2019 as my next trip.

 

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Introduction to private blog posts

About a decade ago, I followed an RSS feed (yes, remember those?) called “The customer is not always right.” It was about the stupid situations and stupid people that customer service representatives would encounter on a daily basis. People who work in an industry that has a lot of human-to-human interaction are always bound to have some good stories of interactions gone terribly wrong.

I personally am terrible with human interaction. I intentionally go out of my way to do my own thing without having to deal with others. When I worked at the police department when I was younger, I was not a sworn peace officer so I had no obligation to interface directly with the public—a majority of my work involved staying in the office, then going to the dollar store with my sergeant to get candy and snacks. Even with my job now at Tempo Storm, I stay almost exclusively behind-the-scenes, and when someone needs something from me, I reroute them to someone who is better with human interaction. In fact, I am so well-hidden that most people don’t even actually know how to effectively reach out to me, so they don’t even have an opportunity to directly interact with me in the first place.

However, there is one particular situation where I do need to get involved in some direct human-to-human contact. Seeing as I’ve been with Tempo Storm since 2015 and I’m the longest-standing full-time employee, I tend to have some of the soundest judgment when it comes to company-related matters. I also oversee a lot of departments in a managerial sense, so the most extreme of situations generally tend to get escalated to me, no matter how hard I try to dodge them.

This means that, even though I don’t have a lot of “the customer (or employee) is not always right” kind of stories, the ones that I do have are on the utter extreme end. The stories that I do have are so far-fetched and so unbelievable that I feel like I’m doing the world a disservice by not telling them and sharing the absurdity and humor. Unfortunately, I obviously can’t publicly share these stories to the public because almost all of them involve con­fi­den­tial personnel matters, but I still feel like I’m committing a disservice by just keeping them to myself.

Because of this, I spent some time looking into WordPress’ private post feature and realized that it would be a good outlet for me to document these stories—not only so I can look back several years from now on the “good times” I’ve had, but also because a lot of them actually teach good lessons that future employees with appropriate security clearance can read and learn from.

And thus, the “Private” category was born. Blog posts classified under this category will all be password-protected with a unique, randomized string of letters, numbers, and special characters. All the passwords will be different, so I’ll be able to grant access to particular blog posts on an individual, case-by-case basis as appropriate.

I’m excited.

 

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My one-day trip to Beverly Hills

Sunrise at Los Angeles International Airport

The photograph above is a picture of the sunrise at Los Angeles International Airport (LAX), taken from the Virgin Atlantic Clubhouse. This is the last photo I took during my one-day trip, but I decided to lead with it because it’s the one and only photo I took on my real camera. Unfortunately, eve­ry­thing else I have is of potato quality from my ~6-year-old phone.

 
I feel like I should just go and get a real estate license at this point, because Tempo Storm is in the process of exploring other real estate options… which I am coordinating, of course. Back in November 2016, one of the first team houses that Tempo Storm set up was a group effort between me and the administrative assistant at the time. Since then, I’ve set up three more team houses, and this new property we’re looking at now will end up being the fourth that I lead myself (sixth total for the company). Each team house we’ve gotten has been an upgrade from the previous, and that trend isn’t ending anytime soon.

For this trip, I wasn’t able to spend 10 hours on the road round-trip because I was a bit too busy with other work, so I decided to fly this time. I flew out yesterday morning, making it into the airport by 5 AM, grabbing some free breakfast at the airport lounge, boarding the plane shortly after 6, and making it to Los Angeles before 8.

McCarran International Airport

Los Angeles International Airport

After arriving at Los Angeles International Airport, I realized that all the car rental companies were off-site, so I had to stand at a curb waiting for a shuttle to stop by and bring me just under three miles to Enterprise Rent-a-Car, which was where my car rental reservation was. After entering the lobby of the Exotic Car Collection by Enterprise to pick up an SUV, they queued me up to receive one of their Cadillac Escalade ESVs… except they couldn’t find the keys to any of them.

The first one that was most easily accessible in their garage was locked and just had the keys missing entirely. The second one that was behind another vehicle was unlocked and started up with its push-button start, except they couldn’t actually find the keys to this vehicle. Seeing as it started up, the key fob was definitely inside… they just couldn’t figure out where. Here is a photo of two customer service representatives flipping the interior upside-down trying to find out where the key fob was.

Exotic Car Collection by Enterprise trying to find the lost keys of a Cadillac Escalade ESV inside the vehicle

Eventually, they gave up and found a third Cadillac Escalade ESV that had its keys conveniently in the cup holder, and they gave me that one. It was a 2020 model, but I was able to see first-hand why Cadillac Escalades are often rated as one of the worst luxury full-size SUVs on the market today—they feel a bit dated compared to competitors. Enterprise comped me a half tank of fuel for the wait, which was nice, but I was only in town for a day and there was no way I would use 13 gallons of free fuel.

After I actually got on the road, picked up our CEO, and started going on tours, I forgot to take as many photos as I would’ve hoped, but I did take two from the Hills overlooking Los Angeles.

Beverly Hills

Beverly Hills

After wrapping up the day, I spent the night at my cousin’s house, and the following morning, I was up by 4 AM, out the door by 5, and at the airport lounge having breakfast by 6—which is where we can loop back to the first photo above. I was on my plane by 7 and back home in Las Vegas before 9, thus concluding a hectic one-day trip to Beverly Hills.

 

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My first flat tire

Remember how literally LESS THAN ONE WEEK AGO, I wrote a blog post about the clown fiesta that ensued when I tried to replace my broken passenger-side headlight? Where I tried a series of different configurations with two old bulbs and two new bulbs, and basically every possible con­fig­u­ra­tion wasn’t working, until suddenly something randomly worked out of nowhere?

During that blog post, I pointed out how, every time I drive to California, something goes wrong and my vehicle gets damaged in one way or another. The most recent instances were how my driver-side headlight went out, and after I replaced it, my passenger-side headlight went out during my follow­ing California trip. I concluded the blog post by saying, “hopefully the California gods don’t smite one of my headlights this time around so I won’t have to go through all this all over again.”

Well, my wish came true.

My headlights are fine.

Instead, I got a nail in my tire.

My first flat tire

I literally hate California

 

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The Redondo Beach Hotel

I’m fairly certain this is the first time I’ve ever had a decent view from a hotel room.

I usually have the pleasure of staring out into the side of another building, or at best, an alleyway with an assorted row of dumpsters.

Redondo Beach

 

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