Hello, Matū in Beverly Hills, California

I’m in Los Angeles County again in preparation for flying out of Los Angeles International Airport (LAX) for my next international trip. (In fact, I am literally currently at an airport lounge waiting for my flight while writing this blog post.) I’m not the biggest fan of Los Angeles, but I guess I am a fan of LAX because it offers good worldwide route coverage at reasonable prices due to how competitive the airport is for carriers, so I end up finding myself in Los Angeles more often than expected.

While in the area, I met up with one of my friends yesterday and checked out Matū, a steakhouse in Beverly Hills, California. They also have a location called Matū Kai in the Brentwood neighborhood of Westside Los Angeles, but we opted to go to the Beverly Hills location instead because it was a little bit closer to where I was staying at the time in LA County.

I’ve been enjoying chef’s tasting menus lately, the idea being that I want the components and flow of my meal to be determined by someone who knows more about food than I do. I told this to my friend, so when she picked the restaurant, she kept an eye out for a spot that had a tasting or prix fixe menu available. We ended up going with this steakhouse because she said she needed more iron in her diet. Of course, I thought it was amusing that she was getting iron straight from the source of red meat, rather than just taking iron supplements.

Matū had a handful of different prix fixe dinner options: the lock, stock, and barrel for four; the filet dinner; and the ribeye dinner for two, to name a few. When I dine at restaurants, I always like trying their signature or specialty items, so I decided to go with their namesake Matū dinner for two.

The dinner started with a hot cup of 24-hour bone broth.

Next was steak tartare. The menu said that this came with a Japanese accent, but I’m not quite sure what that meant, because this seemed to me like a very straightforward and normal American-style steak tartare.

The meat quality on this was incredible. It had a clean and crisp taste with very strong flavor intensity. The seasoning was very light and supplemented the steak flavor well without detracting from the meatiness. Unfortunately, the bread was extremely dry and was basically sharp crackers, rather than proper crostini with a crispy outside and slightly softer inside. Luckily, the tartare was so good that it didn’t need the crostini to “complete” it.

My friend got an interesting-looking fizzy drink, so I took a photograph of it. … Then I found out that it was only Sprite. So here is a picture of Sprite, I guess.

The next dish that came out was not part of the prix fixe dinner, but was a small plate that my friend added on as a supplement: fazzoletti with braised ragu.

The braised ragu was so salty that it tasted bitter. However, when I scraped it off and ate just the fazzoletti, it was much better. The texture of the pasta was excellent—it was both soft and chewy at the same time, and it had the perfect amount of bounce-back and resistance per bite that made it fun to eat. I would’ve loved to have a plain version of this fazzoletti to go along with some of the later steak dishes.

When this was first brought to our table, it had an intense smell of parmesan cheese coming from it. I’m not really a big fan of cheese because a lot of it smells like vomit to me. The parmesan on this was so strong that it nearly made me gag upon first whiff. Luckily, the smell faded relatively quickly, but at first, it was quite overwhelming.

My friend likes cheese, though. She inhaled a big breath of it so that she could smell it for the both of us.

The next course was eight-hour-braised beef cheek served atop celeriac purée.

This was decent flavor-wise, but again, this was so salty that it detracted from the flavor. I feel like this could’ve been a great dish if they used only about half the salt and just let the beefy flavor speak for itself. Alternatively, if I had some plain fazzoletti, that could’ve also balanced out the saltiness and probably made this much tastier.

Up next was a three-ounce center-cut filet with a “47” salad.

This steak was seasoned properly and was delicious. That made me suspect that the steak itself was all seasoned appropriately, but it was just the sauce in the previous two dishes that were way too salty and sort of ruined how high-quality the meat was.

As for the “salad,” I have no idea why they would call this a salad on the menu. The salad that each of us got was a few large leaves of lettuce with way too much cheese and dressing on it. When my friend ordered a supplement, she went for a pasta dish instead of a vegetable dish because she saw the salad on the prix fixe dinner and thought we would already be getting a proper salad to balance out the meat; if we had known the salad was just a few shards of lettuce, we would’ve ordered a different supplemental dish.

The final entrée of the dinner was a 12-ounce ribeye. They also had the option of enhancing the ribeye to a rustic ribeye, which is a more “butchery” cut of meat. I personally did not think the upcharge was worth it, considering that I have high cholesterol and I’m trying to minimize the amount of saturated fat I consume in red meat, so I prefer the leaner cuts anyway.

One interesting thing I noticed about the way they presented this on the menu was that it was cooked warm red™, with the trademark symbol. I brought this up to the waiter and asked if the term “warm red” was really trademarked, and he said that he thought it was but never really checked because nobody else had ever brought it up to him. He explained that warm red was the doneness level to which they cook their meat. It’s not quite the same as traditional medium rare or rare, but rather, it uses a proprietary cooking methodology to reach the perfect doneness level as determined by their chefs.

Of course, I was curious enough about this that I had to fact check Matū’s use of the trademark symbol. To my surprise, upon referencing the United States Patent and Trademark Office’s database, I found a pending registration for “warm red” filed by a company called Grass Fed Wagyu, LLC. I dug deeper and checked the public record of their application, and humorously, the specimen submitted for this mark was a screenshot of Matū’s website.

So yes, this was actually cooked warm red™.

The steak itself was delicious. I’m not sure if everyone else would love this doneness level, but it was exactly to my preference. It was tender, yet still had a little bit of resistance to it where it adds the fun element of feeling like you’re ripping through a raw steak like a caveman. It was perfectly seasoned as-is and didn’t need any of the salt that our waiter brought us on the side.

To go along with the steak, we received a side of grilled broccolini seasoned with garlic and red pepper flakes. We received a few more pieces than what is pictured, but my friend already swiped a couple for her plate before I had a chance to snap the photo.

There wasn’t really anything special about this broccolini, which was good. It served as a good vegetable to go along with the steak. It was clearly broccolini, but the flavor was mild enough that it supplemented the steak without interfering with its flavor.

For dessert, we got a strawberry panna cotta.

This was a bit underwhelming. It was decent flavor-wise, but for a lack of a better way to put it, it tasted a bit “cheap.” The strawberries were not noticeably fresh, and the strawberry syrup just tasted like generic sugary sweet syrup. I would find this passable if served at a low- or mid-range restaurant, but it was surprisingly basic considering it came from a restaurant that put in the effort to trademark warm red™.

We didn’t drink any alcohol, but I noticed that there was a dark wine cabinet on display on my way to the bathroom, so I snapped a picture.

This is what the interior of the restaurant looked like. We had an early reservation pretty close to opening time, so we got a private corner table by some trees with a nice view of the rest of the dining area. I was able to get some pictures before the restaurant filled up with customers.

Matū dinner for two$ 174.00
Fazzoletti$  22.00
Panna cotta$  12.00
Sprite$   4.00
Service charge (18%)$  38.16
Sales tax (9.75%)$  24.39
Total$ 274.55
This table to the right shows how much we paid.

Matū charges an 18% service fee, which was disclosed ahead of time. In exchange, they are a no-tipping establishment, which is why I did not pay gratuity. Unfortunately, the service charge was included in the taxable subtotal, so even though the sales tax was 9.75%, it effectively became 11.5%.

Because Beverly Hills has its own separate city government and they want to maintain their reputation of being a more upscale and nicer city, there is a cheap parking garage nearby on South Beverly Drive. (This doesn’t really happen in the city of Los Angeles where you just have to try and search for a rare street parking spot and hope that an impatient driver doesn’t try to run you over while you back into the space.)

Overall, I’d say I’m satisfied with the Matū prix fixe dinner, but it wasn’t very filling. I think US$87.00 per person for the tasting menu is reasonable considering the quality of the food and the location of the restaurant, but I would consider it a very barebones experience.

Most significantly regarding the portion size, there were no carbs, which I think is a cheap and easy way for the restaurant to make sure customers walk away full and happy after their meal. If I were to be allowed to make adjustments to the tasting menu, I would probably increase the price a small amount and then add in some welcome bread at the beginning with the bone broth, turn the salad to an actual real salad, and either add in some pasta or a starchy vegetable to go along as a second side for the main entrée.

Based on my experience, I’d say that Matū was decently worth it, but not so remarkable that it has to go on your must-try list. With that being said, apparently they are also famous for their cheesesteaks, which we did not have an opportunity to try yesterday. As of today, their Matū Philly Cheesesteak is US$24.00 each, so if you want to sample their high-quality meat, the cheesesteak is a much more affordable price point at which to give it a try.

 

—§—

 

Hello, HILO Sushi in Beverly Hills, California

I’m in Los Angeles County again in preparation for flying out of Los Angeles International Airport (LAX) for an upcoming international trip. While in the area, I met up with some friends who I regularly visit when I’m around Los Angeles, and we decided to try the omakase dining experience at Hilo Beverly Hills.

This restaurant was so unique that I feel the need to mention this right away: Chef Hilo’s omakase is not a traditional Edomae-style omakase. It is a modern-day “fusion” omakase that combines traditional Japanese elements with a more performative, conversational, experiential dinner. If you go into this expecting a traditional omakase, you will probably be disappointed; you might even find Chef Hilo to be abrasive and end up finishing your dinner feeling slighted and insulted. However, if you go into it with a relaxed and open mind, it could end up being one of the most fun dinners you’ve had.

Edomae-style omakase involves chefs who embody the concept of “shokunin,” which translates to being a master craftsman or artisan. There is a further implication in the word, though—shokunin in Japan are known to be stoic, quiet, and minimalistic in communication. This is not because they are shy or antisocial, but rather, they are demonstrating that they have their full focus on preparing your meal to perfection without any distractions. Thus, if you go to a lot of high-end Edomae-style omakase restaurants, you will find that the atmosphere is often very calm and peaceful.

Chef Hilo, on the other hand, finds a balance between mastering his craft, but also being a welcoming host who facilitates a memorable and stand-out experience. Throughout our entire meal, he asked us questions about ourselves so he could get to know us better, joked around with us, teased us in a way that usually only long-time friends do, and tried to establish a genuine bond with us. This restaurant doesn’t feel like you’re going to a professional establishment and ordering professional services; instead, it feels like you hired a friend to cook dinner for everyone and you’re all just spending time together for fun.

We went as a group of four; three of us got the full omakase dinner for US$250.00 each, while the remaining one of us got an abridged version for US$150.00 because she wasn’t hungry enough for all the courses.

Omakase, or お任せ, literally translates to “I leave it up to you.” Lately, omakase at a lot of restaurants has sort of turned into a more flexible version of what is actually called kaiseki, or a chef’s choice meal that follows a series of different courses. However, Hilo Beverly Hills serves an actual genuine omakase—no menu, no course list, and on-the-fly adjustments to what is served.

To start, we received three types of sashimi in sour sauce as appetizers, two oysters, a small shot glass of what I think was a different kind of sauce with oyster derivatives, and two cold fish dishes.

Next was sea urchin pasta.

The pasta had an incredible texture to it, and it was almost like it was cooked perfectly al dente (“to the tooth”) and morbido (“soft”) both at the same time. I mixed together the sea urchin and the pasta with each bite, but thinking back, I guess it is also possible that the textural phenomenon was caused by a firmer consistency of sea urchin mixing in with the pasta (considering that firm sea urchin is probably comparable in bite resistance to soft pasta).

This was my favorite dish of the dinner, which is probably expected if you are aware that sea urchin is my favorite food.

After those dishes, we were served a cup of bone broth.

I like restaurants that serve this because this is an indication that they have a “no waste” philosophy. Rather than discarding the unused portions of the fish, they will boil it in a broth and serve it so they can get as much value out of the fish as possible.

Following this was nigiri service.

For all the cuts of fish, a recurring theme was that the texture was some of the best I’ve had in fish. For example, the squid was extra firm on the outside, but still soft enough that each bite was very satisfying. The scallop took “melt in your mouth” to a whole new level. The shrimp had an intense sticky and slimy layer to it, which might sound bad, but actually makes the feeling in your mouth much more unique and fun.

During nigiri service, Chef Hilo showed us a plaque certifying him as an authorized dealer of Yuki Tsubaki (雪椿) rice.

I’m not really a rice expert, so I don’t know too much about the unique characteristics of different kinds of premium rice. Every single piece of nigiri I ate was delicious and noticeably high in quality, but I can’t quite pinpoint whether that was because of the fish or the rice (though I imagine it was realistically a combination of both).

That said, I did notice that there was a consistent hint of natural sweetness to each piece of nigiri that came out more the longer I chewed, so my speculation is that the rice was responsible for adding that element to each piece of nigiri.

Our next dish was abalone served inside a shell.

Remember the one friend I mentioned earlier who was the only one to get the shorter omakase? The abalone was one of the dishes that was only included in the full omakase experience, but Chef Hilo didn’t want her to feel too left out, so he put some of the excess abalone in a small bowl and gave her a miniature portion so she could try it too.

As we were nearing the end of our dinner, one of our final pieces was a spicy tuna roll.

In my head, “spicy tuna” is often associated with lower-quality sushi because of how often restaurants oversauce the tuna and how the excessive mashing of the tuna makes it feel unsubstantive in your mouth. However, Chef Hilo reimagined spicy tuna in a gourmet way. The sauce was light and complementary to the fish, and you could actually taste the flavor of both the tuna flesh and fat. The wrapping was also perfect in texture—it was firm enough that it held the rice and tuna together well, but was penetrable enough that it was easy to bite through and didn’t cause the “rip apart the seaweed and scrape the insides out with your teeth” phenomenon that a lot of spicy tuna rolls have.

Just by watching us, I think Chef Hilo concluded that I was the most experienced out of the group when it comes to dining at sushi restaurants (which is accurate). So, he came to me at the end and asked me to request my favorite kind of sushi as the grand finale of our meals.

My favorite sushi is uni (sea urchin), but we already had a sea urchin dish earlier with the pasta. My second favorite is escolar, but escolar is very much not a beginner-friendly sushi and can have some very unpleasant side effects if you’re not used to eating it or eat too much of it. My third favorite is shirako, but that is out of season.

I ultimately told him that I would like him to decide on a type of fish or cut that is relatively rare and I wouldn’t frequently have an opportunity to eat at other sushi restaurants. In response, he prepared seared tuna cheek for us.

Tuna cheek is a relatively small portion of a tuna fish, so this is definitely something that is not common at regular sushi restaurants. Cheek is often referred to as the wagyu-equivalent cut on a tuna due to how meaty and umami it is.

Our tuna cheek nigiri was prepared with a blow torch sear on the outside to help tenderize the connective tissue in the cheek.

One of my favorite things about fish with tougher connective tissue on the inside is that, when I finish “paring” it in my mouth with my tongue and eating just the flesh, the connective tissue remains, and I keep chewing it for a long time as if it is gum. I love that I can get a good minute or two of additional flavor extracted from the tissue when I chew for even longer.

Finally, for dessert, we received a black sesame blueberry sorbet. This was a completely new flavor combination for me, and I thought it was very interesting. It tasted like there were no added sugars, which was perfect, because that allowed the natural sweetness of the fruit to handle the job and put more emphasis on the individual ingredients.

To take a brief intermission, there was something that happened that was interesting enough that I feel like I have to tell the story in order to make my blog post complete.

When I asked for tap water at the beginning of the meal, the waitress told me that they do not have free tap water and the only water they have available is à la carte glass-bottled water. I have never seen any other restaurant deny serving tap water before, so I re-clarified this with the waitress, and she doubled down. I was so confused that I assumed there was surely some kind of miscommunication, so I re-re-clarified, and the chef tripled down and confirmed that they do not serve free water.

Because this is an alcohol-serving establishment, the fact that they do not offer any free tap water conflicts with the standards of care established under the California Department of Alcoholic Beverage Control’s Responsible Beverage Service Training Program Act (California Code of Regulations, Title 4, Section 166) and the Human Right to Water state policy (California Water Code, Section 106.3). In an effort to rationalize this incredibly unusual system they had, I asked the chef how they navigate compliance with these guidelines and regulations.

In response, he asked if I was a lawyer, mostly in a light-hearted and teasing kind of way. I wasn’t planning on confirming anything about my work, but my friend said on my behalf that, yes, I do indeed do legal work as part of my profession.

Chef Hilo didn’t have an answer for the compliance matter, but he explained his mindset and approach behind why he only serves bottled water—he thinks tap water, no matter how filtered, is too impure and unbecoming of a restaurant of this caliber. He instead scouted for and decided on Abatilles as his restaurant’s water of choice, sourced from Sainte-Anne Spring in Arcachon, France. It is primarily notable for containing no nitrates, low mineral content, and high alkalinity.

With that being said, rather than trying to argue, the chef went productively into problem-solving mode. He specifically wanted to make me happy with my experience, and I think he quickly identified that I wasn’t particularly satisfied with the idea of needing to pay an additional ~US$60 (after sales tax and gratuity) just to supply drinking water to my party of four. Omakase dinners are usually inclusive of everything except alcohol, so compared to other restaurants I’ve been to, having no tap water and only paid water options almost felt like a hidden fee.

Chef Hilo proposed a solution that, if I pay for one bottle of water for myself, he will cover the water for the rest of my party as a gift. I thought that was a good compromise and accepted his offer. The main thing I appreciated about this, though, is the fact that he had a practical, realistic, no-nonsense approach to coming to an agreement. It didn’t feel like he was using cookie-cutter “customer service training” like other establishments do; instead, it felt like he was treating me like a unique, individual human being and coming up with a unique, personalized solution specifically for me.

I think if I had dined alone or with one other friend like I usually do, that would’ve been the end of our meal. However, because we went as a group of four, there was less one-on-one conversation and far more interaction with the chef.

One of my friends really got along well with Chef Hilo. In fact, literally in the middle of dinner, they were gossiping about people they mutually know and were even setting up potential business deals. Due to the rapport they built, I think the chef’s impression of our entire group was improved. By the end of the dinner, he brought out a bottle of non-alcoholic champagne to share together with us.

Chef Hilo told us stories about past customers and advised us of the importance of building relationships with people. He also explained that his perspective on life changed when he realized that he has such a significant impact on other people around him. He wanted to celebrate with us with some champagne—not because there was a special event or anything, but because great memories are worth celebrating and cherishing.

In lieu of a menu, Hilo Beverly Hills has a little informational booklet that talks about its food and philosophy. Upon her request, Chef Hilo autographed one of them and gave it to my friend so she could take it home as a souvenir from the dinner.

Here are a few other shots from the interior of the restaurant. My friend booked our reservation for the final seating of the night, and we were lucky enough that we were the only ones there that day, so we got the chef’s undivided attention.

Full omakase ×3$   750.00
Omakase ×1$   150.00
Abatilles (750 mL)$    12.00
Gratuity$   180.00
Sales tax (9.75%)$    88.92
Total$ 1,180.92
The table to the right shows how much I paid.

If you read my blog a lot, you know that I am notoriously a stingy tipper, and am still very much against the United States’ out-of-control tipping culture. However, I tipped almost 20% anyway on this meal because of the great experience and because of the complimentary premium water. I would’ve tipped even more for the champagne, but he brought out the bottle after I had already signed the check and handed it back to the waitress.

Touching back on the water situation for a bit—after talking with and learning more about Chef Hilo, I was able to understand that the paid-water-only arrangement is not because he is trying to get away with making more money, but rather, because he genuinely wants his customers to have the pinnacle of a great experience with no imperfections or shortcomings. I think the intent behind someone’s actions matters a lot, and Chef Hilo is such an open and honest person that it is easy to read his good intentions.

Again, I want to reiterate that this restaurant is not for everyone. I know for a fact that there are going to be some people who find Chef Hilo to be unprofessional, disrespectful, crude, and unsophisticated. However, if you try his omakase experience with no predetermined expectations and take it in with an open mind, then I think most people will find him to be sincere, authentic, refreshing, and “anti-fake.” He doesn’t waste energy putting up an artificial façade; instead, he puts all his effort into preparing great food and curating an iconic dinner.

The price for the full omakase is not cheap, but if you’re looking for a high-end restaurant in Beverly Hills, you are probably expecting to spend a lot of money anyway. If you are not discouraged by my multiple disclaimers and warnings, and if you still find this to be intriguing, then I highly recommend Hilo Beverly Hills.

 

—§—

 

Photo dump from Royal Caribbean’s Quantum of the Seas from San Pedro to Cabo

I already published three blog posts from my first cruise on Royal Caribbean’s Quantum of the Seas—an overview of and thoughts from embarkation day, a review of the specialty restaurant Wonderland, and a review of the Chef’s Table. I have a bunch more photographs and impressions that I wanted to share beyond what was contained in those three pieces, so like I usually do, I decided to do a photo dump to wrap up everything else I haven’t posted yet.

As is typical for me now at this point, we shall start with a tangent.

I explained this more thoroughly on my embarkation day blog post, but in summary, I have been traveling full-time and living out of short-term housing solutions for a majority of the past several years. This means that I do not have a formal and official long-term lease or rental anywhere, and my “landlord” is basically Marriott. I have friends in various places with whom I stay in their homes when I’m not in hotel rooms, but otherwise, I am a nomad. (I used to ironically call myself homeless, but then I ran into too many people who got genuinely concerned because they thought I was actually literally homeless, so I’ve started avoiding saying I’m homeless lately…)

This lifestyle naturally means that I end up encountering a lot of different kinds of people. Even though I am checking into a hotel because that is literally where I will be living for the next couple weeks, most other people around me are there temporarily, be it for work or leisure. When I go for a walk outdoors within proximity of the hotel, I may be running into vacationers or businesspeople, but I might also be seeing locals.

This phenomenon has become an unremarkable part of my life at this point, but upon reflection, what I experience is probably a bit surreal for someone who just lives peacefully in a suburb where an overwhelming majority of people they encounter are fellow local neighbors.

However, this train of thought led me to a different, adjacent realization. Ever since moving out of my parents’ house in the Chicagoland suburbs, this moment—stepping foot onto a cruise ship—is probably the first time I have ever been around only one “type” of person. Unlike hotels where you don’t necessarily don’t know why someone is there, everyone on this cruise ship was on vacation. Nobody is booking a Royal Caribbean cruise to hold a business conference on the ship. Everyone is there for leisure.

I could’ve stopped there and it would’ve been an amusing thought, but if you take it to the next level, it’s interesting to consider what this actually means. Every customer on the cruise ship was there voluntarily for fun (or close enough to it).

The reason I even started pondering this concept is because, prior to analyzing it, I immediately noticed how happy everybody was. The overall mood of any other land destination that I’ve been to usually balances out to be fairly neutral—there are some people who are enjoying their time, some people who are diligently getting to their next work meeting, and some people who are having a bad day. However, this cruise ship was probably the highest density of happy people that I’ve ever seen in a single location. Everyone looked excited, and there were an unexpectedly high number of people just randomly singing and dancing in the hallways.

This might not have any productive meaning to normal people who might think “of course people will be happy when they’re on vacation,” but it was an insightful point of reflection to me. I have integrated “vacation time” so deeply into my regular lifestyle that I am just perpetually in a state of constant amusement—not too happy, not too upset. Thus, experiencing the joyful mood of thousands of vacationers packed around me on a ship was an eye-opening way for me to see the life of an average American and stay closer in touch with reality.

 
Anyway, the cruise was great.

In my embarkation day blog post, I pointed out how seasick I got, but fortunately, that passed. By the second day, I no longer felt unwell, even though I didn’t take any medication and I didn’t materially change anything about what I was doing. I would still occasionally notice the rocking of the ship, but my brain stopped registering it as threatening.

I’m a big fan of large, dense, clean, walkable cities. This is one of the reasons why Tokyo quickly became my second favorite city of all time (only ranking after my home city of Las Vegas). I want to be able to step outside my door and be able to do and see interesting things, be it either getting food or just walking around and sightseeing or people-watching.

I loved Quantum of the Seas because it felt like it was a densely packed town condensed onto a cruise ship. There was always a wide variety of things to do. If I wanted a change of scenery, I could just go up or down several flights of stairs and be in a completely new environment. If I wanted to eat, I had a ton of options within a few minutes’ walk. If I needed stimulation, I could walk into one of many entertainment venues for ongoing live music or performances. And most importantly, everything was clean.

Branching off the point about entertainment, something I really appreciated was being able to pop in to an entertainment spot on the ship, check it out for several minutes to see if I liked it, and leave to go somewhere else if I didn’t.

Being a resident of Las Vegas, I thought about how neat it would be if a major resort brand on the Las Vegas Strip, like MGM Resorts International, made some kind of “unlimited entertainment pass,” potentially just for locals, where entitlement holders would be able to show up at any MGM property’s show or performance that isn’t sold out and be able to watch for a monthly membership fee. I think that kind of structure would make going to shows much lower-stakes and low-commitment, thus encouraging locals to engage with the Strip more. I am aware that there are seat-filling programs already out there, but it would be nice to have something run officially by MGM or Caesars.

Sort of going back to the idea of “everyone is on vacation here,” another thing that was notable to me was how shocked the stateroom attendant and housekeeping was when they heard that I did not want service throughout my entire stay. Other cruisers love being taken care of so they don’t have to worry about making their bed or cleaning their bathroom while on vacation; on the contrary, I’m there literally to live my normal life, but just on a ship.

I was already supplied with plenty of towels to last me the entire one-week cruise if I use a towel for two days each. I always hang up used towels so they dry out properly, and I always have either the balcony door open or the HVAC system circulating air to control the humidity. If I have garbage, I neatly bag and tie it up and leave it outside my door in the morning. I am generally a clean person, so it’s not like I’m dribbling urine around the toilet or anything. I’m also a pretty peaceful sleeper, up to the point where the sheets and blanket don’t really get moved around much and literally stay tucked at the bottom of the mattress across multiple nights of sleep.

Just like how a lot of people don’t like others intruding in their personal homes, my stateroom was literally the equivalent of my home during my cruise, so I preferred to just have privacy. I did still have to interact with the housekeeping staff once every couple days so they could make sure I hadn’t died in my room, and I had no issue with them looking in my room so they could confirm that I wasn’t secretly cooking methamphetamine in there or something. But otherwise, I mostly just took care of myself, which hopefully also meant that my housekeeper was able to get an extra 15 minutes of rest per day in lieu of tending to my room.

 
With all those rambling thoughts out of the way, here are some more photographs I took during my cruise.

Our first stop was at Cabo San Lucas. Apparently Royal Caribbean doesn’t have a dock at Cabo, so they had to anchor the ship in the middle of the water, which I did not realize was actually a thing. Then, for people to get to shore, they would offer what is called tender service—a system where people get on small boats and are taken back and forth from ship to land.

By this point, I had just overcome a severe bout of seasickness, so I didn’t want to risk it again by getting on a small boat, which I have previously confirmed definitely gives me seasickness. This cruise had an overnight stay at Cabo, so while everyone was out exploring Mexico, I decided to stay on board and enjoy the ship while there were not too many people around.

While doing rounds on the walking track, I noticed a set of stairs leading down to the 14th floor. Out of curiosity, I made my way down there to find that this was the outdoor section of the buffet. Because the buffet was closed at that time for their midday break, this section was empty, so I was able to take in the views in great peace.

Later that evening, I headed back to my stateroom and went out onto my balcony to watch the sunset.

The next morning, I returned to the private 14th floor lookout spot I found the previous day to watch sail-away from Cabo.

The entertainment schedule is usually packed with a lot of shows on sailing days to ensure that cruisers have plenty to do and don’t get bored. One of the shows was Sonic Odyssey, a percussion and dance performance. Most people entered the Royal Theatre through its main floor, but I noticed that there was an upper floor entrance too that wasn’t as busy; for Sonic Odyssey, I found a nice spot near some of the tech equipment up there which offered an unobstructed head-on view of the stage.

Prior to sailing, I purchased the unlimited premium dining package. The benefit of this is that you can dine in specialty restaurants (which come with an upcharge) for free.

Beyond Wonderland and the Chef’s Table that I discussed previously, I also went to Chops Grille, which is a steakhouse. I thought this was very worth it because I had top-tier sit-down restaurant service in an elegant environment, and I was able to avoid the congestion of the main dining areas where everyone else was eating.

For this meal, I got tuna and avocado tartare as my first appetizer, shrimp as my second appetizer, lamb chops as my main entrée, and apple pie and ice cream for dessert. The apple pie had a strange coagulated texture that I wasn’t a fan of, but everything else in the meal was delicious.

Here is another sunset photo, this one from a sailing evening. The sunsets from the ocean looked particularly orange and vibrant.

Here is a stillframe from another show I stumbled across and watched; this one again is from the Royal Theatre, and this one was a musical performance.

Time for an interesting story.

There was a man named Nemesio Rubén Oseguera Cervantes, more commonly referred to by his alias “El Mencho.” He was the head of the Jalisco New Generation Cartel, an organized crime group in Mexico known for drug trafficking, among other criminal operations. He was one of the most wanted men in both the United States and Mexico, and there were bounties of US$15 million and MX$300 million by each country’s government for information leading to his arrest.

Did you notice how I am describing El Mencho in past tense? That’s because he was captured and subsequently died in Mexican Army custody. In response to his death, cartels carjacked large vehicles and set them ablaze on key roadways to serve as narcoblockades. This happened on February 22, 2026. Do you know where I was on February 22, 2026? Atop Mexican waters, headed towards Ensenada.

Yes, I was literally in Mexico when Mexico’s most important drug lord was killed.

Because the Army couldn’t graciously wait two days for me to return to the United States first, I had a bit of a predicament. The local news was reporting that even Baja California was suffering from unrest even though it was fairly far away from Jalisco, so I figured that Ensenada was also affected. If the captain of the ship decided to just skip Ensenada entirely and dock at either San Diego or Catalina Island instead, then that would solve the problem for me. However, if we were still going to dock at Ensenada, it was up to me to make the decision.

I ultimately concluded that I would not disembark the ship onto Mexican land. Having formerly worked in law enforcement, I am aware of the strength of organized crime groups and how much more dangerous they are than random people committing crimes alone on the street. I have also personally seen the fragility of life and how easily an innocent bystander can accidentally die.

Furthermore, Mexican drug trafficking organizations hold a complex role in Mexican society. The cartel employs a substantial number of Mexican people and directly contributes to the health of their economy. The cartel is known to provide infrastructure and public services to local communities where the government responsibility falls short. Although a lot of people surely would like to live a life free of the cartel’s intimidation, it is a far more intricate matter than just dismissing the cartel as a bunch of random criminals.

Because of all these factors combined, I decided to just sit this one out. I plan on going back to Mexico again, and because of how much I enjoyed this cruise, I will be going on another cruise soon on a different Royal Caribbean ship that will also go to Mexico.

The following morning, I woke up and opened my curtains to see us docked at Ensenada. According to the captain’s judgment, there was not enough of a risk to skip this port and head straight back to the Untied States. However, I stuck with my decision and took this as another day to enjoy the ship amenities in peace.

We were only docked at Ensenada for several hours before we needed to head back to San Pedro for the conclusion of our cruise. During sail-away from Ensenada, I noticed that the stairway down to the 14th floor was blocked off for some reason. Now extra curious, I stepped over the rope and headed down there anyway.

I immediately saw why that area was closed. The seagulls were extremely aggressive, and the entire deck and overlook area had a ton of seagulls flapping around. I guess they really liked the shaded and sheltered overhang from which they could smell food coming from the buffet. The floor and glass was absolutely drenched in bird droppings. After snapping a photo, I quickly made my way back upstairs to safety.

The timing of El Mencho’s death was unfortunate because the ship was actually docked at Ensenada instead of having tender service, so I actually would’ve been fine with going outside. It was fun watching what the logistics look like of docking a cruise ship as large as Quantum of the Seas. There were a lot of workers overseeing the operations, including these ones in this photograph who were responsible for managing the ropes that tied the ship to land.

One of my new favorite cruise ship activities was watching people sprinting to make it back onto the ship before sail-away. Apparently, I was not the only one who enjoyed this, because there was a very large group of people standing on the edge of the ship watching to see if anyone would miss their ride back to the United States.

We had three parties nearly miss the cut-off to re-embark the ship (i.e., they were late, and they made it back to the ship during the unofficial grace period before the ship left). In each situation, the people on the ship would yell at the stragglers to run, cheer when they started running, boo when they slowed down, and cheer again when they made it to the ship in time. It was actually quite fun and felt like we were all watching a live sports game together or something.

Here is a photo from sailing away from Ensenada.

For the last night on board, there was a farewell show at the Royal Theatre. I decided to mix things up this time and take a seat on the side to see if there was anything I was missing from this vantage point. The show consisted of a comedian, so I found out that the angle didn’t really matter, though I did get a chance to take a fresh photo from a different perspective.

After the first half of the farewell show was over, there was an intermission for the balloon drop. Everyone gathered at the Royal Esplanade, the cruise director came out to give credits to all the crew on board, there was a quick dance party, and then the balloons were released onto the crowd.

I didn’t want to be down there shoulder-to-shoulder with other cruisers, so I went up on the balcony instead. I gently pushed my way to a spot directly opposite of the makeshift stage so that I could have a clear and unobstructed view of all the action and enjoy the balloon drop.

After the balloon drop, I dined at Jamie’s Italian, another premium dining venue. I personally much preferred the other specialty restaurants; the food at Jamie’s was overwhelmingly salty.

After going back to the Royal Theatre and enjoying the second, late-night portion of the farewell show (which was the same comedian, but with a second set that was not limited to being family-friendly), I returned to my room and looked out my balcony for a nice view of the moon. The photo turned out blurry because it was so dark, but the reflection on the ocean was quite stunning in-person.

After getting a little bit of sleep overnight, I was woken up by the early-morning disembarkation announcements the next day. I opened my blinds to find us facing the World Cruise Center at the Port of Los Angeles and a seagull perched atop the ledge of my balcony.

As part of my VIP perks for purchasing an upgrade to The Key, I was allowed to be one of the final people to disembark the ship. While everyone else was standing in line and scrambling to leave, I was able to enjoy a leisurely sit-down breakfast at an on-ship restaurant.

For my final meal of the cruise, I had a “Royal VIP Signature,” which was a crab cake and poached egg atop a crispy sourdough muffin garnished with crushed avocado, shaved black truffle, and hollandaise sauce.

And that concludes my overview of my first ever cruise. As I mentioned before, this was definitely positive enough of an experience that I will go on another cruise again soon.

Royal Caribbean’s port in San Pedro has two ships that regularly have round-trip sailings from it—Quantum of the Seas and Navigator of the Seas. Although both are relatively new, I heard that each ship has its own unique vibe and identity, so I’ll be keeping an eye out for a well-timed and well-priced cruise on Navigator so I can check that out as well.

 

—§—

 

Hello, Chef’s Table on Royal Caribbean’s Quantum of the Seas

I am now back on land after finishing my first cruise on Royal Caribbean’s Quantum of the Seas, and I’m working on catching up on blog posts. (While still on the ship, I wrote about my experience leading up to, during, and shortly after embarkation day, and a few days ago, I published a review of Wonderland, a specialty dining venue on the ship.)

While purchasing my ticket, I added in an unlimited premium dining package that allowed me to go to any specialty restaurant on board without needing to pay the extra cover charge. However, even with that package, there was one dining experience that still had an upcharge—the Chef’s Table.

Upon doing some more research, I found out that the Chef’s Table is the highest-tier dining experience on Royal Caribbean cruises and is basically an interactive prix fixe chef’s tasting menu experience served to a limited number of guests per night. Considering that I have become somewhat of a food enthusiast over the past several years and especially like unique and personalized experiences, the Chef’s Table aligned perfectly with what I was looking for in a nice dinner.

If you read my embarkation blog post, you already know this, but as a quick summary, I had a disappointing experience with the food quality at Izumi Sushi, so I canceled all my future reservations there and looked for other options instead. I replaced one of the Izumi nights with the Chef’s Table. Chef’s Table normally requires an additional US$118.00 payment per person, but because of my unlimited dining package, the cover charge got reduced to US$59.00—a base price of US$50.00 for the experience, plus a mandatory 18% gratuity of US$9.00.

I didn’t see a way to book the reservation on the Royal Caribbean app in a way that would link it to my unlimited dining package, so I went to Guest Services for assistance. I heard that the Chef’s Table is in pretty high demand and often sells out before departure; I was wondering whether that was part of the reason I was having issues with the app, but fortunately, the representative at Guest Services was able to get me a spot for that same evening as the 13th of a maximum of 16 diners.

At 6:25 PM, I went down to the designated check-in spot at the Schooner Bar to wait for everyone to arrive and be walked over to the Chef’s Table. After a brief wait, all the diners showed up and our waiter (who was also the sommelier) led us to the table.

The format of this was quite different than what I’m used to. This felt more like a family Thanksgiving dinner than it did a restaurant. Everyone was seated together around a single large dining table, which made the experience very communal and conducive to conversation among everyone.

The dinner was a multi-course meal that also came with a wine pairing, so everyone’s placemat had wine glasses lining the edge. I don’t drink alcohol, so the waiter took away my wine glasses and said he would provide a special non-alcoholic beverage pairing to go along with my dinner instead.

After our waiter and sommelier explained the basic idea behind the Chef’s Table, the chef also came out from the kitchen to introduce himself. This was apparently his first cruise for which he was the chef for the Chef’s Table.

While we were talking amongst ourselves and waiting for the first dish, the waiter came out with some bread. Each pair got one large portion of blooming bread, but because I was alone, I got to have an entire one by myself. I ate half of it as an appetizer, then saved half of it to use as dipping bread for any leftover sauces that I assumed I would have with some of the dishes.

The first course was scallop carpaccio with crispy quinoa and yuzu vinaigrette.

I understand that the premise of carpaccio is to thinly cut the meat or fish, but I still would’ve preferred for the scallop to be cut a bit thicker so that it had more of a bite. The way that I adjusted for this was that I rolled up each slice of carpaccio into a little tube so that it felt like I had more material to chew down into. I liked the textural contrast between the soft scallop and the crispy quinoa, and dipping each tube into the yuzu vinaigrette added a nice splash of citrus that enhanced the overall flavor profile.

There wasn’t a separate non-alcoholic beverage menu that had all the ingredients of all the drinks listed, so I don’t quite remember what exactly was in every drink, but this first one was (as you can probably tell from the photograph) an orange citrus drink.

To go along with our second course, we received what the menu called garlic focaccia croutons. As you can tell from the photograph, it was definitely just a focaccia and not so much a crouton. The toppings were refreshing, and this served as a great side for the upcoming soup.

The actual second course was smoked tomato soup. I couldn’t really distinctly identify the smoke, but it did taste noticeably more earthy than what you’d expect from normal tomato soup.

The chef came out with a pitcher of cream and individually added a swirl to each of our bowls. Interestingly, the cream maintained its coagulated shape, and even when agitated with my spoon, it didn’t really separate much. I ended up “cutting” the cream with my spoon and including some in each spoonful, which was quite interesting.

The next drink of the beverage pairing was a blueberry nojito, the non-alcoholic version of a mojito.

The third course was Maine lobster salad with hearts of palm, pineapple, cilantro, and vanilla dressing.

This dish was an example of pristine simplicity. The lobster was incredibly tender and very strong in clean, pure lobster flavor. The vegetables added a nice crunch to the texture but did not materially affect the flavor of the lobster. The dressing was incredibly light and also did not affect the core taste of the lobster. If someone wanted to eat lobster because they love the lobster itself, then I think the way that this was prepared is the best cooking method possible to achieve that goal.

The fourth course was roasted branzino with grilled zucchini, peppers, carrot, lemon confit, and pesto.

Similar to the lobster, this was prepared in a very simple and straightforward way that emphasized the natural flavor of the whitefish without having anything else alter or overwhelm it. The skin was cooked very well in the sense that it was a great balance of both chewy and crispy at the same time. Although not listed on the ingredient list, it also came with a slice of citrus that basically acted as a superior substitute for squeezing a bit of fresh lemon on the fish.

Because I don’t consume alcohol, I haven’t really had any high-end wine experiences, and the only things I know about wine come from observing others ordering and drinking wine. That was applicable during my Chef’s Table meal where I saw the usage of a centrifugal wine aerator for the first time, by our sommelier while he was serving the other guests.

He later explained that it was a decanter, though I’m wondering if that was just a language barrier, because I am fairly certain that is just an aerator (and yes, I do recognize the irony here of attempting to correct a sommelier, especially considering that I just disclosed my general lack of wine knowledge). He was using that tool to serve Sequoia Grove Winery’s Cabernet Sauvignon from Napa Valley, California.

For the third installment of my non-alcoholic beverage pairing, I received a fruity pineapple smoothie.

The pineapple went along great with the fifth course, a grilled filet mignon with truffle potato purée, asparagus, and bordelaise sauce.

The waiter went around the table asking people their doneness preference for their steak. I ordered mine rare, and I am relieved to share that nobody at the table requested well-done. I was mindful to cut against the grain for each bite, and the steak was incredibly tender and flavorful.

I liked that there were two variants of the potato purée—one regular, and one with truffle. I especially liked the truffle potato purée because it had a more subtle and earthy truffle flavor (as opposed to a more greasy truffle taste that you find when people just use truffle oil for flavoring). I also noticed that the potato purée here was quite a bit firmer than what I usually get at high-end restaurants, which I actually found to be a good thing; I think that indicates that there is a higher ratio of potato to butter, which I personally prefer because I actually like potatoes.

I also appreciated that there were two additional tiers of textural enhancements. The vegetables were lightly boiled so they were softer but still maintained a good crunch, and it fulfilled the traditional “steak and veggies” archetype. However, the dish was also served with miniature potato chips, which added an unusual but fun extra crisp to some bites.

(The reason the sauce is not pictured in any of the photographs is because the chef came out after everyone received their plates and individually asked whether they wanted the sauce on the steak or in the moat, then served it to the diner’s preference.)

For the final drink of the night, everyone received a salted caramel espresso martini. Because mine was non-alcoholic, I guess it was just a salted caramel espresso coffee.

Dessert was the grand finale of the dinner. They call it the World, and it is a hollowed spherical chocolate orb with peanut butter ganache, Valrhona chocolate mousse, and salted caramel gelato, topped with warm caramel sauce. Surrounding the World were small pieces of caramel popcorn, strawberry, and mint.

For the presentation, the waiter goes to each plate and pours the warm caramel sauce on top so that it melts away the top shell of the chocolate sphere and reveals its inner contents.

This was the only dish of the dinner that I wasn’t able to finish. The inside of the World was delicious, but unfortunately, the chocolate outside was far too sweet. When I supplemented each bite of chocolate with the espresso, that helped balance out the intensity of the sweetness, but after I ran out of salted caramel espresso, I couldn’t down the rest of the chocolate shell.

During the dinner was also when they did special celebrations. One person across the table from me was celebrating his birthday, and a couple sitting to my right was celebrating their six-year wedding anniversary. They each got a little plate with caramel text hoping well wishes for their special occasion, along with a candle planted in an arrangement of strawberry, blackberry, mint, and whipped cream.

And with that, the Chef’s Table concluded. The overall experience took a bit over three hours. The waiter treated us to a quick magic trick to end the night, and then the chef came out from the kitchen to thank us all for our attendance.

This is what the other part of the dining area looked like, which would be the “back side” behind the photographs that I took. This might give a bit more perspective on how exclusive of an experience this was due to its secluded location and limited availability.

The room itself was nestled far in the rear of Chops Grille, an American steakhouse that is part of the specialty dining restaurant collection on the ship.

I had a great time at the Chef’s Table. I go to a lot of chef’s tasting menus and other special multi-course dining experiences, but in terms of atmosphere and environment, I think this Chef’s Table ended up being my all-time favorite.

A lot of omakase or other chef-led dining experiences will seat you at a bar so you have a view of the kitchen and can watch the chef and cooks prepare your food. If they don’t have bar seating available, each party generally gets their own private table. Royal Caribbean’s Chef’s Table is the first time that I have ever been seated at what is basically a residential dinner table that you would usually only share with your extended family for holiday meals.

This may potentially sound like an introvert’s nightmare, especially if that introvert is named Adam Parkzer and decided to go on the cruise by himself. However, I think the interactions and conversations with the other diners are what made this dinner so pleasant and memorable.

Except for the couple directly to my right who were in their mid-30s like I am, everyone else was an older person. They all seemed intrigued and fascinated by my ambitious nomadic lifestyle, especially because of how different it is compared to how they lived their 30s decades ago. Them wanting to learn more about me and my life served as a good conversation starter that carried on throughout the entire dinner.

With that being said, I think I also just got lucky with the people with whom I shared my Chef’s Table dinner slot. Everyone had a laid-back, relaxed, welcoming, and warm attitude that made the experience feel much more cozy and wholesome.

As for whether or not I would recommend the Chef’s Table, this may be shocking considering the fact that I just spent an entire blog post explaining why I loved it, but I actually would not recommend it for most cruisers. Keep in mind that it comes with an additional US$118.00 upcharge per person, so that can add up pretty quickly when you’ve already paid quite a bit for your ticket, and considering the fact that most of the other food options on the cruise are included in your fare. Furthermore, if you have young children, I would actually specifically request that you do not go to the Chef’s Table, because I think your child would feel sorely out of place, and the presence of children may spoil the experience for others.

With that being said, if money is not an issue and you want a high-class, elegant dining experience shared with like-minded strangers who enjoy a premium meal and great conversation, then the Chef’s Table would be a good fit for you. Even though everyone else in attendance came as a couple, I did not feel out-of-place as a solo diner. Furthermore, the waiter was engaged with us throughout the meal, so if you get unlucky and everyone else you end up getting grouped with is extra shy, then it seems like the waiter is trained to take initiative to get the conversation flowing as a backup.

I have one final cruise blog post coming up soon, in which I will share my overall concluding thoughts about the experience.

 

—§—

 

Hello, Wonderland on Royal Caribbean’s Quantum of the Seas

I just wrapped up my first ever cruise, which was on Royal Caribbean’s Quantum of the Seas for a round-trip itinerary departing from the World Cruise Center at the Port of Los Angeles in San Pedro, California and making stops in Cabo San Lucas and Ensenada, Mexico.

Last week, while I was still on the cruise ship, I published a blog post outlining my experience with embarkation day; at the end, I explained how seasick I was, and I questioned whether I would just be bedridden the entire trip. I am happy to share that my seasickness mostly went away starting from the second day, and I deem the cruise to be a success. I have a few more cruise-related blog posts planned for publication over the next week: two from specialty restaurants (including this one), and one giving an overall overview and concluding thoughts about the cruise.

This one covers Wonderland, a restaurant focusing on imaginative and experimental dishes with an integration of molecular gastronomy. Being classified as a specialty dining venue, Wonderland usually bills an additional cover charge of US$55.00 per person per dinner. However, because I purchased the unlimited specialty dining package prior to sailing, I was able to eat at Wonderland for no extra fee. Wonderland had the kind of unique dining experience I enjoy, so I had two dinners at Wonderland; this blog post includes both of them.

 
Upon arrival, I was given a blank menu, a paint brush, and a small jar of water. In order to reveal the menu, I had to wet the paint brush and draw strokes on the white piece of paper, which dampened the surface and caused the ink to appear. The menu was split into five different elements: sun, described as “radiant vegetables playfully reinvented”; ice, “chilled to exhilarate the palate”; fire, “emanating wonderful warmth”; earth, “dishes grounded in whimsy”; and sea, “oceanic inspirations from the tide of the imagination.”

When my waiter arrived during my first dinner, I asked him how the system works, i.e., how many dishes I am allowed to order. At first, the waiter replied that he would pick the dishes for me. Confused, I asked him if this was a prix fixe tasting menu designed by the chef, to which he replied that it was not. He then clarified that I was able to pick one item from each of the elements. When I went through and made my selections, he told me that two of my selections were incompatible because they were both considered larger dishes. After some more confusion, I ended up skipping an earth dish and ordering two sea dishes instead so that my meal would fit their requirements.

During my second dining experience, I let the waiter know that I had already been to Wonderland before, and I picked out dishes that I did not have during my first meal a few days prior. Both this waiter, as well as the waiter from my first dinner, did not write anything down when I made my selections. Both of them apparently had lacking short-term memory, because in both instances, they mixed up some items, did not give me a few things I ordered, and gave me a few things I did not order.

From the fire menu, this was the Mad Hatter’s Purple-Potted Shrimp. This was basically a jumbo fried shrimp wrapped with more crispy breading shaped as thick straw. This had all the positives of fried food without tasting greasy, and the shrimp was still juicy and tender. It came with a scotch bonnet sauce, which went well with the shrimp.

Also from the fire menu, this was the Bird’s Nest, a smoked deviled egg topped with a few drops of hot sauce. This is one of the items that I did not order, but received anyway.

The menu said that this has blue cheese, but it did not, which is great, because the smell of blue cheese makes me want to vomit. It came with a lid that trapped in the smoke, which the waiter removed after he brought it to my table. Funny enough, the smoke was incredibly intense and heavy, and the smell lingered around my table a lot and made me cough, but the deviled egg seems to not really have absorbed much of the smoky flavor, because it just tasted like a straightforward deviled egg.

Last from the fire menu was the wonton soup with asparagus and jelly noodles. The dumpling was good, the asparagus was decent, and the noodles were interesting because they were extra smooth and slippery, so it made for an intriguing eating experience. However, the soup was unpalatably salty to the point where it was borderline bitter. I think the soup could’ve been diluted with two parts of additional water and it still would’ve been salty.

Moving onto the sun menu, the first item was Baby Vegetables in the Garden with “soil” and “pebbles.” The vegetables were fine, but the waiter poured an insane amount of what appeared to be a variant of very salty ranch atop the dish, so that completely overwhelmed any of the vegetable flavor. The “soil” had a very strange texture, and I couldn’t quite figure out what exactly it actually was. It was both soggy and crumbly at the same time. When drenched in ranch, it clumped up a bit, but it still maintained the crumbly component of its texture, which felt weird in my mouth.

The next item from the sun menu was the Reconstructed Caprese with a gelatin-like tomato, cheese, liquid olives (made with reverse spherification), ricotta powder, and basil paste. This was actually surprisingly delicious. I’m usually not a fan of cheese because I think it smells like mold, but the cheese provided with this dish was mild and clean in flavor.

The presentation of this dish was incredibly confusing. The bulk of the food was crammed inside a small sliver running down the center of the plate, while the largest two portions of the plate were occupied by two droplets of marmalade on one side, and the “soil” from before on the other side. I wasn’t sure how I was supposed to eat this effectively, but considering that this was supposed to be a reconstructed caprese salad, I cut up the tomato into smaller pieces, moved everything over ton one of the larger compartments, and mixed it all together.

The third and final sun menu item was Tomato Water with pepper spherification and bread foam, served in a test tube. I wasn’t really sure how to consume this either, so at first I took a sip of the tomato water, then later jostled the test tube around so the liquid pepper and bread foam would mix with the tomato water without overflowing. It made sense that this was named tomato water, because it literally tasted like what a tomato would taste like if it was in water form.

Along with this came an item from the ice menu, a crispy crab cone with avocado mousse. The menu said that it was also supposed to come with cilantro and ohba leaf, but I wasn’t able to taste either of those. Overall, I thought this was a solid and straightforward avocado and crab fried cone, and I enjoyed it.

Next is what I believe to be the Citrus Seas Shhhh, which was supposed to be spicy tuna along with a floral yuzu granité. However, the spicy tuna was not spicy, and it came inside a gutted lime. Flavor-wise, it was still good.

During my first dinner, I ordered the Sashimi of Red and White Tuna. When this came out, I wondered whether they didn’t quite know what “sashimi” was supposed to mean, and prepared it like this instead. I looked at the other menu options and didn’t think that it matched the Citrus Seas Shhhh because it was not spicy, so I was thoroughly confused.

For the second dinner, I thought I had gotten the Sashimi of Red and White Tuna for the first dinner, so I ordered the Citrus Seas Shhhh to add variety, only to find out that I got a repeat of what I got during my first dinner. I suspect that this means that my first waiter brought out the wrong item for me.

From the sea menu, I got liquid lobster with bone marrow and caviar. This was an explosion of umami flavor and was probably my favorite dish from Wonderland.

For my main entrée for my first dinner, I got Halibut Cooked in Clear Paper. I assume that the “clear paper” was just a heat-resistant transparent cooking film (or, alternatively, I guess it is technically not impossible that they just used a regular clear bag and served the dish with a side of mushrooms, potato, and microplastics).

I’ve never had fish prepared like this before, and it does seem logical as to why someone might want to cook it this way, but flavor-wise, I couldn’t really tell much of a difference from regular poached fish. The juices were also way too salty and detracted from the overall flavor profile of the dish.

For the main entrée for my second dinner, I got the Chicken and the Egg, served alongside some crispy chicken skin, vegetables, and potato purée. The chicken was extremely dry and underwhelming.

I did not receive a dessert menu, so I was at the mercy of my waiter. For my first dinner, I got The World, a chocolate sphere that melts after the waiter pours warm caramel sauce on top of it.

The caramel sauce and the contents of the chocolate sphere were good, but the chocolate itself was excruciatingly sweet.

During my second dinner, I let my waiter know that I had previously tried The World and requested something different. He came out with the Forbidden Apple, which was basically like an apple gelatin shaped into a small apple, served alongside some pie crust crumbs, a ball of whipped cream, and a few small portions of fruit. This wasn’t exactly bad, but I’d say that the apple gelatin was somewhat unremarkable and didn’t really have a strong apple flavor to it.

Here are some photographs of the interior of the restaurant.

This is what the pathway to the entrance of Wonderland looks like. There was a professional photographer posted in front of this throne under the Wonderland sign who was offering to take photos. I declined because I heard that actually accepting your photographs costs somewhere around US$20.00 per shot, even if you only retrieve the digital versions. If they haven’t already, I am guessing that they will need to start decreasing those prices soon, considering that high-end cameras are much more accessible nowadays and people will likely want to just take their own photos instead.

And now, for a strange story.

For some context, Royal Caribbean forces you to pay extra gratuity on almost everything. I purchased a specialty dining package, and during checkout, I had to pre-pay a mandatory 18% gratuity on top of the cost of the package. To be clear, that is absolutely not how the concept of “gratuity” works. Royal Caribbean also nonconsensually adds a daily US$18.50 gratuity per person that gets added to your daily running SeaPass bill. This gets distributed to all staff, including your stateroom attendant and other service team staff.

At the end of my first dinner at Wonderland, the waiter brought me my check after dessert. Because I got the unlimited specialty dining package, my grand total for the meal was $0, but they still need to receive my signature to confirm that I dined there. However, the waiter added a bit of commentary—he clarified that the gratuity I already paid goes towards the staff, and (his literal words) “not to me.” He specified that if I want to tip him, I will need to add an extra amount to the “additional gratuity” line of the check.

I was confused but didn’t really care enough to think more deeply about this, so I added an extra US$10.00 tip to the check and signed off on it.

Later that day, I thought back to what the waiter told me, and it clicked in my head that he was either being extremely misleading or straight-up lying. I did some research online about how Royal Caribbean’s gratuity system works, and I confirmed that my waiter would absolutely count as the “staff” towards whom the pre-paid gratuity gets distributed. I realized that I got scammed by this man who mixed up my order and couldn’t even properly explain how the Wonderland menu selection system worked.

During this research process, I also found out that you are allowed to adjust the US$18.50 daily gratuity if you speak with Guest Services. I marched straight downstairs and asked them to remove the daily gratuity from my SeaPass bill.

Not only did I permanently have the “do not disturb” sign on my door and skipped housekeeping services for the entirety of my cruise, but I also technically paid double for my cruise because I sailed solo. (If you’re not familiar with how cruise pricing works, they market the cost as “per person,” but when you go to buy the cruise, the expectation is that there will be two people per room, and if you mark that you are going solo, the price doubles because you are basically paying for two people’s worth of a cruise by yourself.) I had already given Royal Caribbean plenty of my money and already pre-paid my mandatory dining gratuity, so I had no issue “retaliating” against this waiter’s lies by removing all the extra fees from my cruise that I could.

 
Anyway, I’m glad I checked out Wonderland on my cruise. As you can tell from my split reviews, the food items were sort of a hit-or-miss, but overall, I like restaurants that are brave enough to experiment with their dishes and try something new, strange, or unusual.

They obviously need better wait staff, both in the sense of integrity and training, but other than that, if you are a food enthusiast, I would lean towards the extra specialty upcharge being worth it for trying out Wonderland one time.

 

—§—

 

Hello, embarkation day on Royal Caribbean’s Quantum of the Seas from San Pedro to Cabo

For those who are not aware, I have spent a majority of the past four and a half years being voluntarily homeless and living out of hotel rooms while traveling full-time. There was a period of one year in the middle of that where I rented a condo in Las Vegas again, but apart from that, I have been living a fully nomadic lifestyle. It is probably one of the best decisions I’ve ever made for myself, and constantly exposing myself to new places and environments has been a very good learning experience.

The fact that I fully committed to living in temporary lodging means that I don’t have rent to pay on an apartment, which makes the financials of non-stop, back-to-back travel a lot more manageable. However, this does mean that I don’t have a home where I “go back to” in between trips, so I usually look for places where I can stay for more than a week at a time so that I don’t have to move around as frequently. One option I had previously looked into as an extended stay solution was a cruise ship.

Going on a quick tangent… I get motion sick very easily. It is difficult for me to ride in friends’ vehicles because I get very easily carsick if I’m not in a larger truck or SUV and deeply reclined back. When I fly, I book domestic first class and long-haul lie-flat business class seats not because I am uncontrollably drowning in money, but because I get airsick if I’m not in a seat that can recline far back, and sitting upright in a standard economy seat causes me to feel unwell and lose a day or two of my trip to recovering from travel. As for watercraft, I cannot ride small boats at all, or else I will get severely seasick within the first five minutes.

However, similar to how I can be mostly okay in large trucks and SUVs, I’ve noticed that I am somewhat okay on large ships as well. I’ve ridden the ferry across Puget Sound a handful of times before in Washington, and I felt generally fine during that. I figured that, considering the very large size of cruise ships and the latest stabilization technology, there is a decent chance I will be fine on a cruise ship as well.

The nice thing about cruise ships is that they act not only as an entertainment experience, but also as a hotel room for the duration of the itinerary. I figured that this would be a relatively cost-effective lodging option, so I added a cruise to the list of things I wanted to eventually try out. Afterwards, if I was able to confirm that I did not get severe seasickness on a cruise ship, I could consider doing a multi-week cruise (or back-to-back shorter cruises) and call a ship my home for a little bit as part of my nomadic adventure.

 
A few days ago, I was in Los Angeles County visiting some friends when I noticed that Royal Caribbean had a cruise to Mexico departing from the World Cruise Center at the Port of Los Angeles in San Pedro, California, on sale for a decently discounted rate. The timing of this cruise lined up pretty well with my schedule and slotted in during a free week I had, so I decided to buy myself an impromptu ticket and figure out once and for all whether I will get seasick, or if living on a cruise ship is a viable strategy for my future.

The day before the cruise was scheduled to depart, I relocated from northern Los Angeles County to southern Los Angeles County. I spent a night at the Marriott Long Beach Downtown so I could be a quick 15-minute ride away from the terminal and wouldn’t have to sit in an hour and a half of traffic the morning of my cruise. My company Tempo’s former office was in Long Beach, so it was a little bit nostalgic being back in town and seeing the city again.

I wanted something simple, straightforward, and reliable for my hotel before my cruise, so I opted for a regular Marriott instead of a resort or anything fancier. I also wanted a property that had an M Club executive lounge so I could get free snacks and soft drinks throughout the day, and regular Marriotts have the most consistency in having lounges available.

Unfortunately, I found out after arrival that this is a property with a mandatory US$34.80 destination fee. Out of that destination fee, US$25.00 of it is returned back to you as a food and beverage credit at their on-site restaurant, Local Current. Along with the additive US$10.00 food and beverage credit from my Ambassador Elite welcome gift, I managed to grab an almost-free dinner entrée to go along with my free hors d’oeuvres, snacks, and beverages from the lounge.

The following morning, I woke up much earlier than usual because I needed to make it to the cruise terminal no later than 11:30 AM PST. (Lately, I’ve been functioning on an Asian time zone schedule even while in the United States, so I end up going to sleep very late and waking up after noon.) After a quick shower, I drove west on Interstate 710, also known as the Seaside Freeway, across the very scenic Port of Long Beach and Terminal Island. Upon arrival, I discovered that the Los Angeles World Cruise Center was temporarily suffering from a power outage.

Nobody was able to board because Royal Caribbean’s systems were down, so we had to wait until power was restored. Fortunately, because I upgraded myself to The Key program, I was eligible to wait in the sheltered VIP line with other priority members. Once the power was working again, the line moved very quickly, and we were the first ones on board.

The first thing I did was get my safety briefing out of the way. I had to read some safety information and watch a few quick videos, then check in with a staff member at my muster so I would know where to go in case of emergency. Once that was all sorted, I headed down into the VIP dining area for my special welcome lunch that came as part of The Key upgrade.

I was one of the first people in the VIP restaurant, presumably because I went straight to the restaurant after the safety briefing without first exploring the rest of the ship. This meant that I got a prime windowside table with a nice view of the port.

My waitress brought over some onion bread and pretzel bread for me to munch on while I was reviewing the menu and picking out my courses.

For my appetizer, I went with some jumbo shrimp with cocktail sauce.

For my main entrée, I ordered some salmon. This picture makes it look very sad and disappointing and colorless, but believe it or not, it was actually unexpectedly quite delicious. I also particularly liked the texture of the salmon skin—it was a great combination of crispy and chewy such that I was able to cut through it with my knife, but it maintained its form enough while I was chewing it to add a deeper textural element to each bite.

To conclude my meal, I got two scoops of strawberry ice cream. There wasn’t anything particularly special about this; it was just simple and decently good ice cream.

I finished lunch just in time for all the staterooms to be ready. I headed out of the restaurant and up to Deck 6 to check out my ocean-view balcony room in which I’d be spending the next week.

It was both larger and smaller than I expected. I understand that cruise ships have limited space and the rooms tend to be small, but I found the “living room” area to be fairly spacious. On the other hand, I found the bathroom to be microscopically and borderline unusably small.

It would be nice if they took several square feet out of the living area and put it into the bathroom instead. To put things into perspective, the bathroom was so small that taking three steps means you already walk straight out of the bathroom. Every time I showered, I left the door open because the space was so small that I assumed the accumulating steam from the hot water would make it so humid that I would suffocate and drown from breathing in too much water if I closed the door.

After unpacking, setting up my laptop, and getting a little bit of time-sensitive work done, I left my stateroom and started walking around the ship to get a better idea of what the layout was and where I would need to be to see the most interesting things. I eventually made it to what I personally thought was the most interesting part of the ship, which is the open deck on Deck 15. This floor had a running track, so I did a few laps around and took some photographs while walking.

At 4 PM PST, we left the berth for an on-time departure. I watched and enjoyed the music from the sail-away party for a little bit, but from the upper open deck so I wouldn’t have to be so close to the smelly pools and partially-naked people.

One of the big perks of having a balcony room is that you have a view of the ocean, so as we were getting further away from San Pedro, I returned to my stateroom to have my own private, quiet, peaceful, solo sail-away party. I watched the waves as the land slowly shrank into the horizon.

It wasn’t long until I started getting a mild headache. The seasickness wasn’t anywhere near as bad as what it is on smaller boats, because I usually feel like vomiting within about five minutes of riding on smaller watercraft. However, I could definitely feel seasickness slowly setting in, and I was progressively feeling worse and worse.

As I mentioned before, my solution to motion sickness on cars and planes is usually either reclining back or laying down. Lucky for me, my room has an entire bed in it, so in order to combat the seasickness, I changed into my pajamas and laid down in bed with my laptop to get some more work done. It helped a little bit, but as we sailed deeper into the Pacific Ocean and the waters got rougher, nothing seemed to help. I got extremely dizzy and felt very unwell.

I put away my laptop and started watching YouTube on my phone before getting even more sick. Wondering if looking at screens was causing this, I put away my phone too and took a nap. I woke up after a few hours and felt just as bad as I did when I had first fallen asleep. It was late at night and the specialty dining restaurants were about to close soon, so I forced myself out of bed and went to Izumi Sushi for dinner, in case getting some calories in my body would help make me feel better.

It didn’t.

Izumi’s sushi was pretty bad. I don’t know if I just have unrealistically high standards for sushi, or if it tasted worse because I was feeling sick, but the food quality was pretty bad, especially considering that this was a specialty dining venue where you have to pay an upcharge if you didn’t pre-order a special premium dining package like I did.

Their shrimp spring roll wasn’t a spring roll at all, but instead, was basically like one of those heavily-processed fried snacks that you would find in the frozen foods section of the grocery store (and to make things worse, it was also loaded with cream cheese that smelled like mold). The poke bowl had about ten small cubes of akami tuna, and was ~70% rice. The salmon and yellowtail nigiri that came as part of the chef’s sushi selection was cut very thin and had a unpleasantly fishy taste. The texture of the fish made me suspect that it was not flash frozen properly, because it was sort of mushy. I asked for assorted mochi ice cream for dessert, but instead was served a single scoop of regular green tea ice cream.

I love sushi, so prior to embarking on the ship, I had already put in a bunch of reservations for meals at Izumi Sushi. This dinner was so disappointing to me that, after getting back to my stateroom, I literally canceled every single future reservation at Izumi and replaced it with other specialty dining venues available on the ship. I heard that ginger was good for combating seasickness though, so before leaving, I finished eating all the ginger that came with the sushi.

I made it back to my stateroom without vomiting from seasickness. I changed back into my pajamas, climbed back into bed, and took another nap.

After another few hours, I woke up shortly after midnight. Miraculously, even though I still had a headache and still felt somewhat unwell, I was surprisingly feeling better than I did after dinner. I got up, washed my face, brushed my teeth, stretched for a bit, and replied to some emails and messages. After confirming that my condition had stabilized, I headed out into the cruise ship to do some exploring.

Going for a walk seems to have helped as well. When I’m just sitting inside my stateroom, it seems like my brain is incredibly confused as to why it senses motion, and then triggers an emergency alert to let me know that something is horribly wrong. However, if I’m walking around, it seems like my brain attributes the ship’s motion to assuming that my legs are just roleplaying as a crippled man who doesn’t know how to walk, and it doesn’t send panic signals anymore.

Because it was so late, almost everyone had gone to sleep already and the ship was nearly empty apart from the maintenance crew cleaning.

I started my walk on Deck 3 in the casino.

I then went up to Deck 4 into the two-story Music Hall and looked down on the stage.

Outside the Music Hall was the Royal Esplanade.

I ascended the stairs from the Royal Esplanade to Deck 5 and checked out some of the art installations.

I proceeded further to the aft of Deck 5 to check out the café and art gallery.

At the far end of Deck 5 was Two70, an entertainment venue.

Upstairs on Deck 6 above Two70 was the library.

Back down on Deck 5 near the stairs up to my stateroom was the Schooner Bar.

This ship also has the Bionic Bar, two robotic arms that take your drink order and prepare it for you using the vast collection of alcohol bottles hanging from the ceiling.

I guess even Royal Caribbean isn’t immune from those pesky Activate Windows alerts.

Many of the floors above this only had mostly staterooms, until I got to the upper-most floors. I tried taking the elevator, but that vertical motion mixed in with the side-to-side roll of the ship nearly sent my brain back into panic mode, so I stuck with the stairs for the rest of my walk.

From Deck 15, I peered down into the indoor pool and pool bar.

After getting the rest of my steps in for the day, I went back into my stateroom, transferred the photographs I took into my laptop, and started blogging.

… And now we’re here.

I’m honestly not sure how this cruise is going to go. Hopefully I continue to get better and the rest of the trip is fine, but I am also somewhat prepared to just be bedridden from seasickness for the rest of the week-long cruise and then never step foot on another ship ever again. After doing some brief research online, I found out that Guest Services will often supply passengers with complimentary motion sickness medication, so if things are still bad tomorrow, I will go claim some Meclizine and hope that I’m not already vomiting so much that I can’t keep it down.

I browsed through the Royal Caribbean app and it seems like there are a lot of things to do on the cruise ship, and along with the unlimited premium dining package I have that allows me to check out all the specialty restaurants, I will likely have a packed schedule for the next week (either packed with activities, or packed with laying in bed trying not to throw up).

Because of the limited time I have on the ship, I plan on finishing the rest of my cruise blog posts after-the-fact rather than in realtime, so I’ll be back to give another cruise update in about a week or so, after I’m back on solid land. Until then, you can go make a bet on your favorite new prediction market website to gamble on how many times I vomit or something, I guess.

 

—§—