Based on my experiences from the past few days, I have compiled a list of things that can go wrong while going to your circuit clerk’s office to submit some paperwork.

The first thing that can go wrong is that the receptionist who answers the phone when you call to check business hours has no idea what she is talking about, and tells you that the office is open the day after Christmas, even though Christmas was on a Sunday and the day after Christmas is Christmas Day Observed.

“We are open every week day.”

“Are you sure? Even though this coming Monday is the day after Christmas?”

“We are open every week day.”

“I am going to be very disappointed if you guys are not open.”

“We are open every week day.”

Guess what they were on the day after Christmas?

Closed.

Guess what I was?

Very disappointed.

Earlier today, I stopped by the office for my second attempt. Everything seemed to be going as planned, except for the fact that the circuit clerk’s office is so concerned about security that the only way to communicate with the person with whom you are working is to talk through a five-inch hole in a safety-glass panel and pass papers through a tiny slit towards the bottom of the panel.

Whoever built the glass panel apparently also thought it would be a good idea to make it soundproof as well, because I wasn’t able to hear half the things the receptionist was saying unless I shoved my ear directly up into the tiny hole.

After finally managing to marginally understand what she was saying, I figured out that I was apparently supposed to show more papers to a judge. Although I was slightly confused, I agreed and headed over to the court room.

After checking in with another receptionist, I was put into a waiting list along with other people who were waiting to see the judge for other random reasons.

The line seemed to be going relatively fast until a random old man started having issues.

Apparently, from what I was able to pick up, the issue was that the man didn’t comply with the requests of the security officials who were guarding the entrance of the building. Normally, you’re supposed to remove all items from your pockets and place them in a box, and take off all heavy outerwear, then walk through a metal detector while your belongings go through an x-ray machine (similar to what you do at an airport). Supposedly, the man thought it would be a great idea to not remove his jacket, even though he was told to multiple times.

After he was done wasting everyone’s time, two old women went up to the judge and started having another argument. Apparently, one of the old women’s daughters was supposed to show up to plead guilty or not guilty to a traffic violation she had received, but instead of showing up to court, her mother and her grandmother came on her behalf.

After another good handful of minutes of the judge explaining that the person who receives the violation must show up in court and there can be no substitutions, the old women finally gave up and the daughter was given another opportunity to show up to make her plea.

After over half an hour, it was finally my turn to spend five seconds giving the judge a sheet of paper.

Because I’m sure that story made you as frustrated as I was when I was in the circuit clerk’s office, here’s a random picture I took today of a tranquil lake to soothe your nerves.