Remember how the weather was a troll earlier last week and made it start snowing massive chunks?

It happened again.

And this time, it caused a car collision right outside my apartment building.

In other news, I think it’s time for more Twitter highlights and commentary.

One of my instructors used Word Art, rainbow gradients, and Comic Sans MS all in the same Powerpoint slide. I think I’m going to blow up.

— Adam (@Parkzer) February 23, 2012

My child developmental psychology instructor apparently thought it would be a great idea to integrate Mi­crosoft Word Art, rainbow gradients, and the font Comic Sans MS, all in one slide in her Powerpoint pre­sentation during lecture. For those of you who aren’t aware already, these three elements are prob­ably the top three worst things you can possibly use when designing anything that doesn’t belong in a day care center.

The girl sitting next to me just tried to write the word “survey” in her notes, but spelled it “suervuermy” instead. #wat

— Adam (@Parkzer) February 24, 2012

During a social psychology lecture, we were doing an in-class review and our teaching assistant was going through the main ideas of each of the sections that were going to be on the exam. One of the sections was about surveys, and he emphasized the fact that surveys are one of the most prevalent research techniques used in sociology.

The person sitting next to me (whom I did not know) decided that this would be some useful information to write down in her notes. It appeared as if she was about to write the word “survey,” but instead started writing “suer.” Curious to see if she would catch her error, I kept watching her. Instead of going back to fix her mistake, she kept on writing “vuermy.”

After taking a second to register what had just happened, I burst into laughter and abruptly stopped myself when I realized that I was laughing out loud. The people surrounding me stared at me for a little while, and I put my first up to my mouth and pretended I was coughing and sniffling.

Crisis averted.

So apparently the new Pokémon games are going to be called Black 2 and White 2. I feel let down. ds.ign.com/articles/121/1…

— Adam (@Parkzer) February 28, 2012

This tweet isn’t as funny as it is disappointing. I found out on the 27th of February that, a few days prior, someone representing Pokémon made an announcement that the new Pokémon games would be called Pokémon Black 2 and Pokémon White 2. That is probably the most uncreative name that they could have possibly come up with.

I’m pretty sure that if they hired a professional boring man (which is obviously a man who professionally goes around doing boring things) to come up with a more boring and unoriginal name for the new Poké­mon games, he would have failed.

I’ve been sick for the past few days – I started getting some symptoms this past weekend, and the full illness hit me yesterday and today. I usually recover from illnesses like this within one to two days, so I’m expecting to get better soon.

No, I’m not saying this to get sympathy from my readers; this actually has a relevance to my rant for today, which is McDonald’s.

As you know, McDonald’s food is extremely unhealthy. For those of you not aware of it already, an A­mer­ican independent film maker named Morgan Spurlock created a documentary called Supersize Me where he ate McDonalds for 30 consecutive days for all three of his daily meals. At the beginning of the 30 days, he was an extremely healthy man; at the end of the 30 days, he was showing extreme health problems and was going in and out of the hospital.

Because of this, I tend to eat McDonald’s in relative moderation. I usually only go when I either have a coupon, don’t have any other place to go to eat, or if I’m sick and want comfort food. (For those who don’t know, comfort food is food that gives a nostalgic and happy feel, usually high in flavor, sugar, salt, and/or fat.)

Being sick, I decided that McDonalds would be a good place to go to get some food, and that I would try some of their new items. One specific item that I wanted to try was the Shamrock Shake, which is a special item that is only sold during the weeks leading up to St. Patrick’s Day. I also wanted to get some chick­en, because I usually get a hamburger when I go to McDonalds, and there was conveniently a new chick­en item called chick­en McBites. I’m sad to say that I was disappointed at both items.

The Shamrock Shake is basically a huge (and slightly warm) mixture of whipped cream and mint flavoring. The mint flavoring is so strong that I was able to get a large Shamrock Shake, drink half of it, fill the entire cup back up with milk, then keep drinking it and still be able to distinctly taste the mint flavoring.

The chick­en McBites were worse. It says on the container that they’re lightly breaded chunks of chick­en. Unfortunately, they use the term “lightly” very loosely, because about 60% of the contents of the container is just breading. The McBites taste as if they were overcooked and give off a slightly bitter af­ter­taste that you would expect from burnt food.

This isn’t the first time that I’ve been disappointed with a fast food restaurant’s new items. If you’ve been keeping up with my blog lately, you might remember that I had issues with Taco Bell’s new items – one of which was an XXL Chalupa that was barely as large as two normal Chalupas, and a layered steak item (I forgot its official name) that was basically chunks of steak messily thrown and mixed in with cheese.

It’s highly unlikely that anyone with power in a fast food restaurant chain is reading this, but in case you are, please go make a decent new product so I won’t lose all faith in all fast food restaurants.

Yesterday, I got an interesting piece of mail. It appeared to be a very colorful and disorganized adver­tise­ment at first, but the thing that caught my eye was the silver scratch-off circle on the front.

Of course, there’s no reason for me not to scratch it off, even though I’m near-certain that I’m not go­ing to win, so I reached in my pocket for a coin. And of course, with the great luck that I have, there were no coins in my pocket, so I instead grabbed my keys and attempted to use the flat edge of my apartment key to scratch off the silver cover. That didn’t work out that well.

According to the instructions, if the number that I just scratched off matches the number printed on the inside of the advertisement, then I win. I opened up the advertisement to look for the number.

I wasn’t paying attention to the prizes at first, but seeing as the numbers matched, I decided to look back on the front of the advertisement to find what I won.

I won either $5,000 in cash, an ATV, a $2,500 Walmart gift card, a flat screen television, or $100 in cash.

Itching my head a little bit, wondering how I managed to pull this off, I flipped to the back of the advertisement to see how to claim my prize, and to see if there were any catches that I wasn’t aware of that would prevent me from actually getting my prize.

“Odds of winning; Prizes 1, 2, 4 and 5 are 1:40,000; Prize 3 39,996/40,000 and retail value range from $5 to $2,500.”

At this point, I clearly realized that I missed a very important part of this contest, and that something was amiss. I flipped back to the front of the advertisement to see what the third prize in the list was – the $2,500 Walmart gift card. But how would the retail price of a $2,500 gift card range from $5 to $2,500?

Then I realized my epic mistake. I made a type of mistake that I’m known not to make. I missed a detail.

It wasn’t a $2,500 gift card; it was a gift card, up to $2,500.

I got trolled by an inanimate object.

It’s been a pretty uneventful week, and unfortunately, I don’t have another surprise catch phrase like I did two weeks ago.

The day after my most recent blog post, I was making an attempt to study at the library, but kept on getting distracted by a squirrel that was dancing around near the window. It got so distracting that I felt as if it was absolutely necessary that I take a picture of it.

Unfortunately, even though the squirrel had spent the last ten minutes dancing around the window, when I took my camera out, it felt as if it would be the perfect time to run away.

So the picture didn’t turn out very well.

This past Friday was when the fire alarm testing was. For those of you who are unfamiliar with this, my entire previous blog post from the 15th elaborated on the chance of someone encountering a real fire during a fire alarm testing period. I concluded that the chance was 0.0000328%, and, in case you were curious, no, I was not a part of that 0.0000328%. I am still alive, and my apartment building did not burn down from an unexpected blaze.

On the same day of the fire alarm testing, the weather decided to be a troll and start abruptly dumping massive chunks of clumped-up snow all over the place. This was after a series of days when the weath­er was actually getting nicer. I took this photograph from a bus stop:

The snow became that density in literally under a minute. When I was walking to the bus stop, the sky was completely clear; several seconds after I made it inside the bus stop shelter, it started lightly snow­ing, then several seconds after that, the clumps of snow were so big that the snow particles entering the shelter were all sticking to my jacket and I started looking like a snowman.

My last photograph for this week is of my office desktop computer. A long time ago, I used to take screen­shots of my laptop’s background because people were interested to know what it was. I stopped doing that for a while because I was either using copyrighted images that I wouldn’t be able to post on my website for profit, or I just wasn’t changing my background image enough.

One of my friends went abroad to Prague this academic semester, and she sent me some photographs to use as my new desktop wallpaper. Because my desktop computer at work has dual monitors, simply taking a screenshot wouldn’t give it justice, so I instead decided to take a picture of the two monitors.

You might notice that the photograph was cropped to be panoramic, and stretches across the two mon­i­tors. If you didn’t notice that, then look more closely.

And last, but definitely not least, when I went to my floor’s trash room, I realized that it was nice and warm and cozy, while my actual apartment room/unit is freezing cold.

I’m not quite sure what to think of that.

According to a sign that was posted in my apartment building, we’re going to have a fire alarm test this coming Friday.

I’ve always thought about what would happen if there was actually a real fire during the time the fire alarms were being tested, and because the sign says not to call the police (which, I’m assuming they meant to say the fire department), there would be no help arriving and the fire would go out of control.

In my curiosity, I decided to do a bit of research to find out what the chances were of that actually happening.

According to the United States Bureau of the Census, there is a projection of approximately 116,000,000 households in the United States as of 2012. According to the Emergency Preparedness Innovations Cor­poration, there are approximately 2,000,000 house fires reported each year. (Of course, not all of these two million fires are going to be harmful enough to injure someone, but there is an assumption that a re­ported fire was significant enough that it either required professional aid to extinguish, or it caused property damage that required a police report for insurance claims.)

According to this data, there is about a 1.7% chance that there will be a house fire in your place of residence in the next year.

That’s good to know, but that doesn’t really help us much for our question because the fire alarm testing is not going to last the entire year, but rather, about 10 minutes, or one-sixth of an hour. To bring the 1.7% chance per year down to scale, we’re going to divide that by 365.25 to see what the chance is of having a house fire at your place of residence on any particular day – that computation comes out to 0.00472%.

Breaking that down even further, because there are 24 hours in one day, we are going to divide 0.00472% by 24 to see what the probability of having a house fire in a one-hour time period is – that computation comes out to 0.000197%. And finally, to see what the probability of having a house fire in a given 10-minute period is, we’re going to divide our value once more by 6 to get one-sixth of an hour.

After all these computations, we can conclude that the probability of a real fire occurring during a fire alarm testing period is 0.0000328%. Finally, we’re going to divide 100% by 0.0000328% to see how many times our probability fits into 100%. This means that you would expect to see a real fire during fire alarm testing approximately once every 3,050,568 tests.

Taking this one last step further, as of 2009, the life expectancy in the United States was 79.1 years. That’s equal to 28,891.275 days, 693,390.6 hours, or 41,603,436 minutes. When we divide the number of minutes by the number of tests required to see a real fire during a test, we get about 13.64. That means that for an average person to see a real fire during a test in their life time, they would have to be at a fire alarm testing about once every 13 minutes and 38 seconds.

Fortunately, fire alarm testing tends to only happen once every few months.

It hasn’t been much of an eventful week, except for WAKING UP AND RANDOMLY SEEING A MASSIVE HOLE IN MY PAJAMA PANTS.

No, I have absolutely no idea how that happened. I must have gotten in a fight with myself in my dream or something, and decided that the best way to defeat myself was to rip a hole in my pants.

This past Wednesday, I went into a basketball stadium to represent the Badger Herald at the student organization fair. We’re technically not a student organization, but apparently we get a spot at the fair anyway because we’re some sort of sponsor.

I tweeted from the student org fair from the Badger Herald’s Twitter account. In case you missed it (which, chances are, you probably did, as I’m assuming not many people who read my blog are nec­es­sar­ily fans of my workplace), I embedded it below:

Come visit us at the student org fair! We’re at table #7. twitpic.com/8heyyk

— The Badger Herald (@BadgerHerald) February 9, 2012

The two individuals pictured are two of my co-workers.

Later that week (and earlier today), my workplace had a small gathering and provided free pizza. They were monstrously large slices (don’t be fooled by the photograph below, that slice was about 60% finished). If you know me, you know that I love free food. I had four jumbo slices of pizza and was working on my fifth when I realized that my stomach isn’t big enough to fit all that food.