Once upon a time, there was a boy named Little Ian. He lived a few minutes away from Adam Parkzer, and they rode the same bus to school.

One day, Little Ian missed the bus. Fortunately, the bus route is organized so that the bus ends up passing Little Ian’s bus stop twice, once at the scheduled time and once about ten minutes later. Unfortunately, Little Ian also missed the second pass, which essentially meant that he missed the bus. But Little Ian wasn’t going to give up there. Little Ian had a plan.

Little Ian went back to his house and grabbed his bike. He hopped on with his backpack and started pedaling as fast as he could. His plan: to catch up to the bus and get on it at all costs. Little Ian knew that he would succeed.

Lucky for Little Ian, the bus route also included a stop in an out-of-the-way location to pick up a girl, who we will refer to by using her initials, CW. Out of all honesty, picking her up is an utter waste of time, and takes an extra one minute out of everyone’s lives when she could simply walk for a few hundred meters and not make the bus have to drive into an isolated area, then make a u-turn and retrace its tracks. But obviously, Miss CW is fragile and we must pick her up directly in front of her house, or else she might break in half. And also, the extra wasted minute gave Little Ian another opportunity to catch up.

Little Ian could see the bus in his sight. The massive yellow motor vehicle was coming to a slow halt at a stop sign. Little Ian vigorously motioned to catch the attention of the bus driver. He did it. He had succeeded. Little Ian proudly hoisted his bike over his shoulders and stepped on the bus. He walked in half-way of the length of the bus and placed his bike down. He proudly seated himself in the seat adjacent to Miss CW and put on a ear-to-ear smile.

Meanwhile, Miss CW gave disgusted looks to Little Ian.

As another school day passed, it was time to go back home. Little Ian, however, had a tiny problem. The bus driver wouldn’t let him bring his bike back on the bus, and told him that he would have to ride his bike back home. With no other choice, Little Ian went to his bike and started cycling home.

The end.

Yep, that story’s 100% factual and it happened today. I’m interested to know what happened to him. If he got hit by a car or got eaten by a hyena and died on the way back home, I think the bus driver has some lawsuits coming her way.

Obviously, some of you are saying, "Since when did you have a soft spot for little boys?" The thing is, the bus leaves my school at 3:00 PM, and it’s about 3:24 PM when I get back home. Of course, there’s a few stops before my stop, and it takes about a minute for me to walk from my bus stop to my house. But still, that would average out to anywhere between 15 and 20 minutes for the bus to bring me back home. Imagine how long it would take to travel that distance on a bike, especially seeing how hilly the roads are near where I live. Little Ian’s probably not even going to make it back in time for supper.