Tip of the Day

When walking outside and zipping up your jacket at the same time, keep in mind that massively large, extremely fast, black creatures generally don’t inhabit populated cities. Or else you’ll end up like me, think you saw one, and jump back in surprise before you realize that it’s actually only a shadow.

The Daily Post at WordPress.com

Topic #74: Close your eyes. Count to ten. Then imagine a beautiful ancient castle (tastefully remodeled to include central heating, kick-ass wi-fi and WordPress.com ready laptops everywhere). Now walk down the endless main hall, a hall filled with amazing rooms of wonder. Go into the 2nd room on the right. What’s inside?

I open the door to this mysterious room and suddenly get blinded by light. As my eyes adjust, I notice that instead of walls, this room has windows. The bright light comes from the sunset that’s shining extraordinarily brilliantly into the room. I look around and see a bunch of grand chairs that look extremely soft and comfortable.

I approach one of the chairs and feel it, noticing that it’s made out of velvet. I keep rubbing my hand on it back and forth for the satisfying feel of softness. After I become content, I take a seat inside the chair. My whole body sinks in enough that I’m almost completely surrounded by plush chair and every part of my body is comfortable. I lean back to realize that the back of this massive chair is also just as soft as the seat, and I sink deeper and deeper into the back of the chair.

I look to my right and notice that my laptop is sitting on a table just within my reach. I grab it and open it up to notice a note that says “This laptop’s processor has been upgraded to the best processor available on the market compatible with your hardware and operating system, and its memory capacity has been maximized.” I open up my laptop and do what I usually do on a daily basis on my laptop.

After I get tired, I get up and go to the room next door. I open it up and realize that it’s a massive room, again with windows instead of walls. There’s a massive bed in the center, twice as big as a king-sized bed. I jump in the bed and my body sinks in the perfect amount so there’s no pressure anywhere. Then I fall asleep.

So Far in 2011…

Number of Taco Bell tacos eaten: 21

Number of times I did my own laundry: 2