How not to run an Internet company

Hi humans.

My Internet service provider, ResTech services, has a customer service department that’s open until midnight.

At 12:04 AM, four minutes after midnight, my Internet started beginning to fail.

FOUR MINUTES after the customer service department closes.

My Internet is randomly disconnecting and reconnecting, and when it does eventually reconnect, it’s extremely slow.

The worst part is that I have an exam coming up in a little over 12 hours, and I need to do some final preparations, which involve downloading documents from my course website.

I’ve been spending the past eight minutes or so trying to download a 1 MB PDF document, and it’s still not finished.

So I decided to come on my blog to write about this tragic moment as I panic, and procrastinate trying to find a solution to this Internet crisis that I will most likely not end up finding, and going to sleep.

 

TERA: My first two successful +12 enchantments

Hi humans.

I think all the misfortune I’ve had in Tera in the past has been made up by what happened earlier today.

After I had several thousand gold collected up in my inventory, I decided to buy some Extensive Alkahest and go for enchanting my disc to +12. I was lucky enough that I succeeded, and even had some alkahest left over.

I decided that with the extra alkahest, I’ll try to enchant my robes to as high as I can get them.

Literally within under ten minutes of getting my first +12 item, I enchanted my robes to +12 as well.

gg

 

TERA: My first GvG

Hi humans.

If you’re not fully familiar with Tera, the political system here is determined by two primary methods – voting and killing.

My guild decided that for this term of political power (called vanarchy), we are going to go the PvP route, and have guild-on-guild battles to determine who will rule for the next term.

This, unfortunately for me, means that I can’t step foot outside of the city without getting attacked by multiple people at once.

Yes, every single person with a red arrow above their head is an enemy. This screenshot was taken at the boundary of the safe zone, where if I were to take a few steps out, my enemies would be able to attack me.

The worst part is that I have no PvP gear yet, because I’m still working on getting my PvE gear.

I have a feeling this is going to be a tough week…

 

Video: [LoL] Down 15 kills? Karthus with Kayle ult doesn’t care

Hi humans.

Today’s stream highlight clip is from a game where my team was down fifteen kills, and was basically behind the entire game.

The enemy team decided they were strong enough to do Baron, even with all five of us surrounding the pit. I saw an opportunity, and I knew that I could do it. I went on a suicide dive mission.

After walking into the enemy team, I used my Zhonya’s Hourglass, becoming invulnerable for 2.5 seconds. Immediately upon returning back to normal, I used my Seraph’s Embrace to give Kayle a slightly larger window to use her ultimate on me, making me invulnerable for another 3 seconds. Even after coming out of Kayle’s ultimate, I survived for an additional 1.5 seconds or so, before dying and entering my passive form, which lasts for 7 seconds.

Those 14 seconds were true devastation for the enemy team, and regardless of how far ahead they were, they couldn’t survive a near-full-build Karthus. I secured a quadra kill for my team (which would have been a penta kill if Hao had let Nasus die inside my Defile), and started the comeback that would eventually let us win the game after several more minutes of pushing.

(Click on the image to view the video)

(Linked image not working? Try the direct URL. http://www.twitch.tv/parkzer/c/2135202)

btw, yes I ♥ PhantomL0rd

 

Video: [LoL] Why you never max-range Malphite ult while chasing

Hi humans.

Public service announcement: when Malphite uses his ultimate, he has a projectile speed. Meaning, people can actually react to it. If you’re using your ultimate from maximum range, it gives them even more time to react to it.

In a game I played with Hao, Lalo, and their neighbors, there was a Malphite in top lane who was bullying and BMing Lalo (who was drunk at the time and didn’t really know what he was doing).

The Malphite decided to come down and gank me with his ultimate. Unfortunately for him, I knew what he was going to do before he was half way to my lane.

(Click on the image to view the video)

(Linked image not working? Try the direct URL. http://www.twitch.tv/parkzer/c/2123501)

So that’s why you never max-range ult while chasing with Malphite. Because you’re very predictable and can be dodged by taking two steps backwards.

 

Video: [LoL] Ult Wukong, they said. It’ll be fun, they said.

Hi humans.

The Skarner in one of my recent ranked solo queue games wasn’t really having the best day.

Every time he would come to gank, I would end up turning it around, getting a kill, then escaping with­out dying. But he seemed pretty determined.

Immediately upon hitting level 6, he dashed into my lane to grab me and feed me to his Fizz.

Unfortunately for him, he forgot about Wukong’s signature ability…

(Click on the image below to view the video.)

(Linked image not working? Try the direct URL. http://www.twitch.tv/parkzer/c/2111059)

Nice try, but still not good enough. Better luck next time, on your fifth attempt at ganking mid lane.

 

Video: [LoL] How not to position yourselves against Wukong

Hi humans.

Today’s stream highlight clip is from a game that was very even throughout the entire match-up, but then was completely won by us as a result of a very one-sided team fight.

As the enemy team was clumping up in the narrow pathways of their jungle near their blue buff spawn, we saw an opportunity to engage and start a team fight. I activated my clone to proc my stealth, used Nimbus Strike to close distance, then used my ultimate to knock up literally every single member of the enemy team. To top it off, they were sitting inside Rumble’s Equalizer as they were being crowd controlled, and some people even got knocked up twice due to Lulu’s ultimate, which was used on me.

(Click the image below to view the video.)

(Linked image not working? Try the direct URL. http://www.twitch.tv/parkzer/c/2107346)

So now you know how not to position yourselves against an enemy team that has a Wukong and Rumble. Or else your entire team will melt and the team fight will end in a five-for-zero exchange, even with the enemy team’s AD carry not even being in range to attack for a majority of the fight.

 

Video: [LoL] Vayne is so close, yet so far

Hi humans.

Today’s stream highlight clip starts right as Ed on Vayne successfully kills a Lee Sin and survives with about 50 HP. Caitlyn comes out of the bush for a surprise attack and a free kill on Vayne, but I have my own surprise attack for her.

(Click the image below to view the video.)

(Linked image not working? Try the direct URL. http://www.twitch.tv/parkzer/c/2107286)

Caitlyn walks in for a single auto attack to secure the kill, but I use my ultimate to crowd control her and prevent her from getting in range. As a desperate final attempt, she throws out her Piltover Peace­maker, only to miss her final opportunity before dying to my spinning staff of doom.

 

Video: [LoL] “Best Zhonya’s NA” -Gavin

Hi humans.

Today’s video clip of the day is a replay of a game where I played Vladimir in middle lane. As the game was coming to a close and the enemy team was flooding into our base, riding waves of super minions, I had an opportunity to pick off Singed and get a final kill before the game ended.

As Singed was making his escape, I threw out the active on my Deathfire Grasp, and planned on follow­ing it up with a Transfusion and Tides of Blood.

Unfortunately, my fat fingers had other plans for me.

(Click the image below to view the video.)

(Linked image not working? Try the direct URL. http://www.twitch.tv/parkzer/c/2107252)

Yes, you saw that right – in addition to hitting the 2 key, I also hit the 1 key, proccing the active on my Zhonya’s Hourglass, rooting me in place, and letting Singed walk away.