Top lane jungle Nocturne

Hi humans.

There’s a new League of Legends strategy going around. It’s to have your random top lane Fiora go AFK and get your jungler to play two roles.

It works, I swear.

Told you.

So basically, the enemy Teemo wasn’t that smart and pushed all the way under the allied top lane turret, so I got an easy kill on him at level 3 when I had double buffs. I used that lead, as well as the ability to farm both my jungle and a solo lane, to snowball my strength into mid game, where I was 8/1 at one point.

I continued to apply extreme pressure everywhere on the map and allowed my two carries, Twisted Fate and Caitlyn, to farm up and get kills. By late game, the enemy team was so used to me being a terrifying threat that everyone focused me down, which allowed my two carries, as well as my support, to stay alive and deal heavy damage to the enemy team.

So we ended up winning most of the team fights, then pushed into their base to win the game.


Parkzer’s League of Legends champion nicknames

Hi humans.

The people who have voice chatted while playing League of Legends with me have noticed that I have nicknames for almost all the champions, some of them being pretty silly. Upon request, I am posting my nicknames for all the League of Legends champions released to date.

If the nickname field is blank, it means that I don’t have a nickname for that champion.

Champion Nickname Notes
   Ahri Fox
   Akali Knives
   Alistar Bull / Cow Bull if he is doing well on my team, Cow if he is doing poorly on my team or is on the enemy team
   Amumu Mummy
   Anivia Bird / Walls / Egg Normally Bird, becomes Walls if there is also an ultimate-form Quinn on the battlefield, becomes Egg when in passive form
   Annie Tibbers
   Ashe Arrow
   Blitzcrank Robot
   Caitlyn Sniper
   Cassiopeia CassiOPeia Cassiopeia is so OP that she even has OP in her name
   Cho’Gath Dinosaur I use the Jurassic Cho’Gath skin
   Corki Helicopter
   Darius Chop Chop
   Dr. Mundo Mundo
   Evelynn Eve
   Ezreal Esreal S sound easier to pronounce than Z sound
   Fiddlesticks Caw Caw
   Fizz Fiss S sound easier to pronounce than Z sound
   Garen Demacia
   Gragas Graggy / Fatman Graggy if I’m playing him, Fatman otherwise
   Graves Ed This is the only champion my best friend can play well, and his name is Ed
   Hecarim Pony
   Heimerdinger Pimpmerdinger Just look at that walk
   Jarvan IV Helping “I’m Jarvan, I’m helping”
   Jinx I don’t have a nickname for her, but I sometimes sing her theme song when I’m dueling her
   Karma Sae Eleisa Va A modification of one of her quotes, “Sae Eleisa Tera Vi”
   Karthus PhantomL0rd PhantomL0rd is a famous Revive/Teleport Karthus player
   Kassadin Kass with a K As opposed to Cass with a C (Cassiopeia)
   Katarina Ban Kat I hate Katarina
   Kayle Adjustimacator
   Kennen Keenen
   Kha’Zix Jump
   Kog’Maw Cock’Mouth No nickname if he is doing well on my team, Cock’Mouth if he is doing poorly on my team or is on the enemy team
   Lee Sin Ree Singah
   Lucian Blackman
   Lulu Lulululululululu
   Lux Laser
   Malphite Rock
   Maokai Tree
   Master Yi
   Miss Fortune
   Mordekaiser BR EHUEHUEHUE
   Morgana Angel
   Nami Fish
   Nasus Dog
   Nidalee Hotshotnidaleegg
   Nocturne Darkness
   Nunu Nununononunu
   Olaf Oraff
   Orianna Ball
   Pantheon Mantheon Manly Mantheon and his Mandrops
   Poppy Who’s that?
   Quinn Bird No nickname normally, becomes Bird when in ultimate form
   Rammus Ok
   Renekton Crocodile I usually let out a vicious roar every time he uses his ultimate
   Rengar WTF
   Riven Riven needs to be removed from the game
   Shaco ShAco Pronounced ShAco, not Shahko
   Shyvana Dragon Normally Dragon, no nickname if we’re fighting near the Dragon objective
   Singed Poison Trail HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
   Sion Old Aatrox Aatrox is basically a newer version of AD Sion
   Sivir Duck “Better duck!”
   Skarner Mysterious Skarner
   Soraka Heals
   Swain Crowstorm
   Syndra Balls
   Taric Gayman
   Teemo Teeto
   Thresh Chresh
   Tristana Rocket “Is that a rocket in your pocket?”
   Trundle Chundoe
   Tryndamere Trandamurr
   Twisted Fate Trash
   Twitch Rat
   Veigar Midget
   Vel’Koz Eyeball
   Vladimir Blood
   Volibear Bear
   Wukong Monkey
   Xin Zhao I don’t have a nickname for him, but I make martial arts sounds whenever I see him fighting
   Yasuo Coward Dashes around randomly like a retarded headless chicken until you die to minions
   Yorick Gravedigger
   Zac Blobs
   Zed Sed S sound easier to pronounce than Z sound
   Ziggs I don’t have a nickname for him, but I usually imitate his laugh when fighting with him
   Zilean Clock
   Zyra Plant Lady


PhantomL0rd’s “chill day”

Hi humans.

If you talked with me at all yesterday, you may have noticed that I was fully immersed in keeping up with a massive electronic attack, manned by a group called DERP Trolling. To keep things simple, they used DDoS attacks to shut down a bunch of different popular game servers. The methodology used to determine which games to attack involved PhantomL0rd.

James Varga, better known by his online identity PhantomL0rd, is a very popular independent League of Legends streamer and online entertainer. During the time of these DDoS attacks, PhantomL0rd was one of the top streamers broadcasting League of Legends. The League of Legends servers went down, and PhantomL0rd’s game disconnected, just like everyone else’s.

PhantomL0rd decided to play different games, but he realized that all of these games were being targeted as well (even a game site as obscure as Club Penguin). After noticing that all of his games of choice were being targeted, he accepted DERP Trolling’s attempts to reach out to him and communicate with him. They hopped around Ventrilo and IRC and had some short broken conversations for as long as they could until someone would attack the Ventrilo or IRC server they were using to shut it down.

This is where things get a little bit confusing, and is the reason why I am making this post to help people understand exactly what happened.

While in the loading screen of a game of League of Legends, PhantomL0rd randomly disappeared. Then, someone else who had possession of his Twitch account’s log-in credentials (likely his brother Nick) signed in and stated that the police were at PhantomL0rd’s house due to a “hostage situation.” Many people believe that DERP Trolling called the police to PhantomL0rd’s house, but that is not true.

On December 30, 2013 at 5:04 PM PST, PhantomL0rd’s personal information was leaked on to the In­ternet through a Pastebin post (which still has not been removed due to the incompetence of the Pastebin staff). The supposed motive behind this posting is because someone was dissatisfied at the fact Phan­tom­L0rd was publicizing DDoSers and “raking in the cash.” PhantomL0rd was labeled as pathetic, and his information was released to the public.

After this happened, a troll called the police, falsely accusing PhantomL0rd of having four hostages in­side his house. Again, this was NOT DERP Trolling who made the call, it was someone else who found out his address through the posting. While this was happening, DERP Trolling was posting from their Twitter account showing their concerns for PhantomL0rd.

PhantomL0rd’s house was thoroughly searched by the police while he sat in the back of a police vehicle. When the police found out that it was clearly a false alarm, they let PhantomL0rd go with no criminal charges. Since then, PhantomL0rd has been constantly receiving text messages, phone calls, and pizzas delivered to his house.

The most ironic part about this stream is that, when he began streaming, PhantomL0rd titled his broad­cast as being a “chill day.” I don’t think he could’ve had a day any less chill.

PhantomL0rd streamed, telling this story from his own perspective. If you’d like to learn more about this with greater detail, you can check out his video replay.


Thought I was getting Magma Chamber, instead I got modded ARAM

Hi humans.

Back in the All-Stars game of 2013, Riot let the viewers preview Magma Chamber, a new 1v1 and 2v2 map coming to League of Legends.

Magma Chamber

If you can’t tell from the image, Magma Chamber is a map designed to look like middle lane, but much smaller. There is only one turret (because once one turret is destroyed, the owner of that turret loses the game). The rest of the map (including all jungle camps) is also gone.

I was particularly interested and looking forward to the release of Magma Chamber because in 5v5 games on Summoner’s Rift, I always get set back by the enemy jungler. I can have complete, dominating con­trol over my lane, then the enemy jungler shows up and makes me instantly lose my lane. I play extremely aggressively, so I usually don’t get much help from my own jungler because I am pushed up so far.

In Magma Chamber, I wouldn’t have to worry about another random person interfering with my winning lane, so I felt like I would excel at it. Unfortunately, I found out today that the 1v1 and 2v2 map they released was not Magma Chamber, but instead a modified version of the all random all mid (ARAM) map.

The worst part about this map is that the lane resembles top lane, with two bushes placed inside the actual lane. I tried playing 1v1s on the map, and my only two losses so far have been when the enemy player bush juked me about 6 times in a row before I finally died to enemy minions. The worst part is that you can’t even buy wards on this map, so the only real counter play for bush juking is gone.

Overall, I’m extremely dissatisfied with this update. I think it’s literally so rushed and bad that Riot was better off just not releasing this update and delaying it some more. Some might claim that I’m being harsher than I should because I have a bias in favor for mid lane, seeing as I’m a mid laner and I ba­si­cal­ly got ripped off by top lane, but either way, this isn’t up to par with the quality I hope from League of Legends.


[LoL] Face of the Mountain OP … twice

Hi humans.

Today’s stream highlight is from Taiki and me testing out the new preseason four changes, specifically the Relic Shield and Targon’s Brace. The laning sustainability and gold accumulation it provides is extremely strong right now, so both Taiki and I bought the item. I ended up upgrading mine to a Face of the Mountain, which is an item that drains the user’s health to give a shield to the targeted ally.

The item saved Taiki’s life twice, both times allowing him to survive with a sliver of health.

This is the first time it happened:

(Linked image not working? Try the direct URL.

And the second time, two minutes later:

(Linked image not working? Try the direct URL.


[LoL] Much multitask many clutch such juke wow doge (2013.11.08)

Hi humans.

This is a clip from a game I played over a week ago with Ed and Taiki that I finally got around to high­lighting.

Much multitask many clutch such juke wow doge

(Linked image not working? Try the direct URL.

Attempt to assassinate Miss Fortune, waste Zed and Lulu’s time and cooldowns, farm a minion, Smite Dragon, and finish off Zed? Now that’s what I call multitasking.


LoL Patch 3.13: What the changes to Zyra really mean

Hi humans.

The patch notes for 3.13 recently came out, and one of the champions changed was Zyra. Being a Zyra main, a bunch of people asked me about my opinions on her changes. I am personally fine with the changes, and feel like Zyra somewhat deserved them, but this is coming from a middle laner. Someone who mains Zyra as a support will probably say that she was significantly nerfed.

In the middle lane, the first and most significant change to Zyra is her ability to dominate melee champions in early levels. Zyra’s Deadly Bloom (Q) + plant combo was so powerful that after hitting it twice, most early-level melee champions wouldn’t have enough health to go anywhere near Zyra to harass her. If they did go in to harass her anyway and fail to kill her, they would continue to get poked to death by plants and auto attacks as they’re retreating.

To reduce her power, Riot reduced the range on Deadly Bloom and reduced the early-level base damage on her plants. According to the current numbers, her plant damage is the same as pre-patch at level 6, and has increased damage after level 6.

This allows melee champions to have more counterplay to Zyra – the amount of poke damage will be slightly reduced during levels 1-5, and Zyra needs to get a tiny bit closer to harass. The damage at level 6 is the same as before, but this is acceptable as, by that time, the melee champions will have their ultimate abilities and be able to fight back.

The next noticeable change is that Zyra can now safely initiate with Stranglethorns (R) and not have to worry about losing the attack speed bonus to plants. This is because Stranglethorns was changed such that plants spawned inside the area while it is active will still get enraged. This allows Zyra to better chain her crowd control upon a catch, as she doesn’t need to wait until her plants spawn to place her ultimate on top of them.

The biggest changes to Zyra come with playing her as a support. The base damage on her Deadly Bloom was reduced, but her ability power ratio was increased. In order for Deadly Bloom (at rank 5) to deal the same amount of damage as prior to the patch, a Zyra must have 500 AP. Zyra with more than 500 AP will deal more damage with her Deadly Bloom compared to before the patch.

One of the reasons support Zyra was so powerful was because of the very high base damages on her abilities. Normally when I play Zyra as a support, I usually deal significantly more damage than my AD carry due to the initial burst, then the constant pummeling of the plants. This change ensures that if Zyra players want to continue dealing heavy damage, they must itemize to do so.


How I got from Silver IV to Platinum V in (effectively) two weeks

Hi humans.

Earlier today, I got promoted to Platinum V in solo/duo queue ranked in League of Legends.

I was in Silver IV and Silver III for the longest time, so people assumed that that’s where I belonged. I decided to take League of Legends a little bit more seriously lately to demonstrate that I could very easily get myself into Platinum whenever I wanted.

It took me about a week to get from Silver IV to Gold V. This happened before my laptop broke. After I got a replacement laptop, I spent another six days playing ranked to get myself from Gold V to Platinum V. During the process, I skipped Gold IV and Gold II because the rating system thought my skill was far higher than my ranking. Overall, out of days played, it took about two weeks for me to get from Silver IV to Platinum V by playing anywhere between 1-5 games per day.

So, what’s my secret? I’ll share.

  • I stopped giving up in the middle of the game. When things weren’t going my way, I was patient and kept trying my best, rather than randomly walking around the map doing nothing.
  • I stopped playing purely to have fun, and started playing to win. When I wanted to do something exciting and crazy, but knew it would hurt my chances of winning the game, I refrained from doing it.
  • I stopped raging at my allies. When they did things that made me unhappy, I did not express my discontent.
  • I complimented my allies. When I noticed my allies did something well, I pointed it out so they knew I noticed all the hard work they’re putting into the team. This ultimately motivated them to keep performing well.
  • When I didn’t get the lane I wanted (middle), I negotiated. Before, I would just pick a random champion and go to whatever lane was open, then feed and give up after ten minutes. Instead, I asked the higher-pick person who wanted to go to middle lane if there were any other lanes (s)he was able to play, and tried to negotiate to see if I could get my main role.
  • I asked my allies for help. If I still wasn’t able to get middle lane, I asked my allies for advice as to what I should be doing in the other roles with which I was unfamiliar, rather than doing whatever I wanted, feeding, and giving up after ten minutes.

I ended up going almost undefeated as middle lane Zyra – I only lost one game throughout my entire journey, when I was duo queueing with Ed (Grainyrice). I still ended up losing a majority of the games where I did not go middle, but it happened a lot less frequently than normal due to my attempts at negotiating positions.

So, I think this proves two important things. First is that I was skilled enough all along to be at the very least a platinum-level player. As of right now, I’m still getting +26 LP per victory, which indicates that the rating system has low confidence in my ranking. In simpler terms, it thinks I still belong higher than I am right now, and wants to get me there as quickly as possible.

The second is that your attitude is very important in League of Legends – so important that changing my apathetic and negative attitude into something positive brought me up from silver to platinum.

If you’re having trouble getting to a league and/or division you want, try making sure your attitude is prepared to bring you there. Be patient with your allies, and don’t let their poor performance affect your positivity. Even if someone is intentionally feeding (as in, purposely running down middle lane and suiciding to the turret), stay positive. Joke around with them and try to make them your friend. I did, and I was able to carry a game that I thought was going to be a 4 vs. 6.